hammo

C'mon guys i'd really like your opinions on this! Does this thing with her friends being all friendly with me mean anything? Pleaze

I posted about this girl a few times over the last half-year. I'll summarize what's happened so far. I asked out this really nice girl. She's very popular. She rejected me because she said she was abused by her ex and said she wasn't ready for another boyfriend. After this i think she was trying to avoid me, but when she had to sit near me in class (we'd never met outside of the classroom) she was always as nice and friendly as usual. I was always really nervous around her. We never spoke about me asking her out again, acted as if it never happened. Half a year later... Now this year she's only in my study class, so i could easily talk to her if i want to, but she's always surrounded by her friends who don't know me, don't like me or just plain don't care. At my friends party, one of her friends asked me if i still like her. I said i do. Now she tends to hassle me (in a friendly way) about it. Normaly in study class i sit alone or with one or two other peoplethat i know a little, because i don't really know/like anyone in the group she talks with. But ever since they found out i still like her, they (mostly girls) have suddenly became really friendly to me. Girls that i don't even know say hello, and a few of her friends that i have known for like 7 years who thought i was a jerk have also begun to be really friendly with me. If the subject of me liking this girl ever comes up in a conversation (I used to be really shy about it, but now i don't seem to have that much trouble talking about it) she always smiles really stupidly and tries to change the subject. She says nothing about it but doesn't seem to mind. Even though i sit near her in study a lot, her friends talk to me but she hardly says anything, even though she is always really loud in conversations. The weird thing is out of the 6-7 things she said to me all year, all of them were compliments like "that was a really funny joke" or "I hear you did well on your exams last year, well done". I want to find out how to find out wether this girl's thoughts about me have changed, and how to go about it. I don't want to ask her out straight because then i would have trouble talking to her even more if she rejects me, plus if she does the same thing like last time she'll try to avoid me and i might lose some new friends i just made. If i ask any of her friends if she's said anything about me, they'll probably run off and spill the beans telling everyone i want to ask her out and all this. Help

Yeah, well i have sort of light brown/blonde hair. As with the clothes i wear, usually jeans or long shorts, and usually shirts with collars. Girls i want to impress... well, any. I can't really do anything too outrageous cos my parents would get annoyed, they don't like anything new.

Thanx, it's just that a few people have told me i'd look really good if i did something with my hair, because currently, my mum runs over it with a razor so my hair is really short and then i wait until i get too hairy for comfort and then just cut it again. Can you believe that i have never been to a hairdresser? Any of you have any ideas on what i should do with my hair? Lets see... my head looks very similar to... the lead singer off offspring, thats the only person i can think of. My head is very round. any advice?

I was just wondering what sort of hairstyly girls tend to like most. (i'm 16) Do girls prefer the sort of tidy short hair slightly spiked up at the front, or do girls like the sort of insane spiky all over punk look? I guess it depends on the person, but mostly do girls prefer guys who look tidy, or guys that look slightly insane?

I have noticed something lately that made me confused. You see, in my quest to find a girlfriend (i'm 16 by the way) i look at how the guys that the girls are all over act. One of my very good friends was considered the ladie's man in our science class. All the girls only wanted to talk to him. He's quite good looking, funny, and a little insane but everyone likes him. But then... this new english guy moves into our school, gets into the science class and suddenly the girls are all over him. The thing is, he's about as good looking as my friend, but he's not funny, he hardly talks. He just sits there and pretty much does nothing. He's not very confident or anything, i mean my friend asks girls out on a daily basis and is with someone all the time, whereas this guy doesn't say anything to anyone. Two days later the new guy's going out with one of the hottest girls in the school. I just don't get it.

Thanx for the advice. Were both 16, so asking her to go for a coffee would sound a little weird (at least in new zealand it would). My problem is i don't know what to say to a girl that i want to get to know if i haven't ever talked to her. Should i just ask her out right away or should i slowly start talking to her in class, beginning with saying 'hi' whenever i see her?

There's a girl in my english & biology classes. She just recently changed schools. She doesn't have many friends, and is very quiet. I know she liked a guy in my class (even though she has a boyfriend) a while ago and asked him out, but he was engaged, and he rejected her even thought he said out loud many times to me, her and most other people that he thought she was hot. I know that there is one guy that often talks to her in biology because she sits alla alone, but she doesn't really like him from wat i've seen. I've never spoken to her, although she asked the engaged guy about me (just general stuff, like what country i'm from). I know she has a boyfriend, but i don't think she likes him much anymore cos she asked the engaged guy out after knowing him for 3 days. I'd really like your opinion on: 1. wether i should try to ask her out, 2. How i would go about starting up a conversation, what to say and so on

I might go talk toher friend about it, rather than just asking her out straight. Well, if she didn't fancy me before, she might now, because i did change my appearance over the holidays quite a bit. Thanx for the advice.

Well, it's hard to tell because she's polite around everyone and always listens to everything i say with loads of enthusiasm. She never seems bored with me even if i'm talking about something she's not interested in. When me and one of her friends were doing something together in class (the teacher put us in groups) she was also close to us. I joked about something really lame, i laughed at my own joke and it must have looked really lame, but she nearly laughed along with me, when like 6-7 other people who heard it didn't think it was funny. Only problem i see is that people say that if someone likes you they go out of their way to see you. When around her friends, unless she has a reason to talk to me or i talk to her, she doesn't try to sit near me or talk to me all the time. The only thing that is confusing me is that it was usually me who was nervous and hiding in a corner and she was always confident, in no way letting on that she might be attracted to me. No that SUPPOSEDLY things have taken a 180 degree turn, its kind of hard to believe. neways thanx for the reply Kitz

This is about a girl i asked out about half a year ago. We are both in high school and are both 16. I asked this girl out about half a year ago. She said no, because she said she was abused ny her ex and she wasn't ready for a boyfriend yet. We didn't talk much for 2 weeks and then we started talking again. none of us ever mentioned anything about me asking her out. About 1 week after that she went out with another guy for like a month. We continued just talking in class ( note that i have never met up with her outside of the classroom.). The summer holidays passed and we both came back to school. On the first day of school i see her, and i suddenly start shaking, i go red and start sweating a lot. I don't know why it happened but i didn't say anything to her for a month ( she is now in only one of my classes). One day she just came up to me and asked how my exams went. I of course went red and my head started spinning. I answered, and after that we occasionally just say hi or something, but most of the time i pretend to not notice her. I don't know why i do that, but i feel really nervous near this girl. Lately i have noticed that she looks at me a lot. I look in her direction and her eyes quickly move to something else. SHe stops smiling and seems to get really nervous. Today when i asked how her project is going ( we + like 60 people were selected for this business course thing.) she said that it was going well. She kept trying not to look me in the eyes and she got really nervous, stuttered a bit and quickly started talking to a friend next to her. I am considered a bit of a geek at our school, although everyone thinks i'm okay and has nothing against me. She hangs around with all the "cool" people. She is nice to everyone and never hurts anyone's feelings. I know most of this information isn't really that useful and i don't know if you can make anything out of this, but i really like this girl, and everything that happens between me and her seems to stick in my mind and wont disappear. One of her friends is dating my best friend so i see her friend a lot. Should ask her out through her friend? I'm not sure if it's worth it because this might not mean anything. ANy advice would be nice.

There's this girl that i like... She is very pretty, very loud and quite popular. At our school i'm considered a geek although everyone knows me and i do have a lot of friends or people to talk to. Here's a list of all the things she has done recently that have caught my attention. These have all heppened over the last half a year. I have never really talked to her outside of class and all the in-class stuff was mostly about schoolwork. - Half a year ago, during science lessons she just all of the sudden called out "I like !" for everyone to hear. I think this was only meant for her friends to hear. I don't know if this was meant to be a joke. That day i was stupid enough to ask out another girl i liked and word must have got out to her. - I sometimes see her looking at me or in my direction. This doesn't happen too often but it does happen. I usually feeling i'm going red look away. When i look back she is looking somewhere else. - Me and my friend (another guy from another of her classes) were walking to his house after school. She was walking a few meters in front from us. We were talking about stomach acids and putting pins through the earth (don't ask). We caught up to her and said hello. She didn't say anything to me, even though she usually does in class. She asked my friend if they had english tomorow and she walked off. - In science she often sits next to me and asks me for help. - In english the teacher told her to move because she was talking to someone too much. The teacher said "sit in one of the other empty seats like the one next to ". One of her friends said out loud "Yeah that's the seat for her". The girl i like instead sat right behind me next to one of her other guy friends. - Later during the same lesson i asked her guy friend for one of the answers to a question and she interrupted him quite rudely to give me her answer. - When she talks to me i've noticed that she smiles very brightly and looks me in the eyes.

I have never broken up with a girl because i have never had a girlfriend. I have been rejected many times, so taht might be why the words in rap don't make that much sense to me. As I said i look for the melody rather than the meaning of the words. As i listen to a song i tend to imagine things inspired by the music and not the words. Rap doesn't have that much melody in it and that might be because i don't listen much to rap. I need something i can sing along to, something to let my mind drift, and someone rapping doesn't tend to help me do this. I actually like some songs from Eminem, Cypress Hill, Bubba Sparxx but that's because they have a riff or melody you can try to mime while listening to it. Also as some people said, music that makes them cry helps a lot. I just can't imagine crying to rap. Rap is good to listen to when you are full of energy and happy. Also not all white music is about love at all. Have a listen to something like Red Hot Chili Peppers. That doesn't have very much stuff about love (okay, many of their songs do, but they aren't much about missing or wanting girls, but more just telling stories). Their songs tend to be about The meaning of life and how good life is, and about really strange things that don't make any sense. (In the song Californication, can someone please tell me what the word Californication is meant to represent?)

yeeearrrgh go Red Hot Chili Peppers!!!!. For me its not the words but the actual melody and how the notes are played, but then again i love all music and can play (almost) 4 instruments. I don't know how popular Coldplay is outside new zealand but they play very good music, and have quite good words for those that are after that. A bit of 'God Put A Smile Upon Your Face' will have you smiling in no time. Other good bands/musicians are Muse(don't know about it having nice words or a soothing melody but they still play very good music), Jet, Moby(listen to 'Run On' for a good laugh), Alien Ant Farm, REGGAE(all reggae songs are pleasant to listen to and they have very inspiring words. Bob Marley kicks Ar$@). Its not that i don't like this type of music, but most rap or hip hop doesn't have much soothing sounds or happy words (some do but not too many. Some might think i'm completely wrong, but that's just my opinion), I'm not much of a jazz fan but Norah Jones has good songs (Plus she's HOT ) Anyone want to list other good musicians?

I read these quite often and i see there are many sad or depressed people here. A bit of advice from me (maybe it won't work for you) listen to music. I've never been truly depressed but i have been sad. Music really helps. Try to find something you like. Not the type of music that you listen to to make you seem cool that everyone listens to, but something that sends shivers down your spine and makes you smile out of pure joy of hearing these sounds. Different music works for different people. Coldplay and Red Hot Chili Peppers does it for me. I just start smiling and thinking positively about everything in life. Trusts me this helps. I got rejected by a girl i was sure liked me, but i waited 2 years to ask her out. When i got rejected i was really sad. Lying down on my bed and listening to my CDs really helped.

There's this girl that i have liked (well she isn't at the top of my list but she is quite nice) for a while. Lately i have started noticing certain things. We aren't friends apart from occasionally talking in class, but i have noticed these things. -She laughs at all my jokes. I'm not a very funny person, but she laughs at everything. - One of my friends was annoying her by throwing pieces of paper at her and she told me to go talk to me and leave her. He jokingly said that he doesn't want to talk to me. I laughed and she said to me with a big smile how i'm always so happy looking. - She was trying to scab some food off people. If someone gave her anything she said thanks. I gave her some chocolate and she said "ooh thank you your'e so nice" - Once she got tongue-tied while saying my name and she went completely red . - She always asks me about how i'm doing at school and often tries to talk to me. Some of these things seem minor but these things happen all the time. Do you think it means anything? if yes, are there any things i could say to, you know, intruge her, drop hints that i might like her without saying it directly? Also, when i talk to any girl that i like even a little, i sometimes go all red. Is there any way to make me not look like a beetroot ? Thanx in advice!

are there any dating sites for people UNDER 18? I'm 16 and can't find 1. Also i want one that is for New Zealand or one that works for that area?

This might be a styupid question, but is there a way of stopping myself from blushing when i see her? I swear, when i talk to her i must look like a beetroot!

There's this girl that i have liked for the last 3 years. About half a year ago i asked her out, and she said no, because she got abused by some guy (i dunno the details). We didn't talk for like 2 weeks but then we started talking again (we have NEVER said anything about me asking her out. like it never happened). A week later she went out with some other guy 2 years younger than her. I have always been nervous talking to her and i think she is used to the fact that sometimes i just go hell red on the face when i see her . We had the summer holidays which ended 3 weeks ago (i have never met her out of school, i don't have her phone number etc.), and i just started being all nervopus again and was too terrified of talking to her. We didn't talk until today, but i looked at her a lot and she was very often looking at me, i can't figure out why, although it might have been because i haven't said anything to her. Today after another hour of me staring at her and hoping she wont see i am, she asked how my exams went. Stuttering and reddning (as i do ) i answered and told her. The whole conversation (about 2 minutes) we had eye contact (she looked at me and i kept shyly looking away) and she was smiling. She keeps looking at me and i don't know if it means anything. I don't know what to do and how to react so that if she has suddenly started being interested in me, she knows i still like her. I have real trouble talking to her because she is so pretty and so nice that i stutter go red and get dizzy when i even just look at her. I'd also like to know what you guys think she might be thinking. I also don't know if this might change anything, but i have tried to alter my looks a little (eg. my hair isn't this big hairy mess on the top of my head and i have gotten some new school uniform so it looks a bit better). I'd be thankful for your advice.

About 6 days ago a new girl appeared in our school. She is in my english and biology classes, and she seems very shy (or it might be that she hardly knows anyone) because she usually sits by herself. Anyway, as soon as i saw her i was like . I want to get to know her but i don't have any idea how to start. I'm very shy around people i don't know, especially girls. I have never been out with a girl (never actually been close friends with a girl ) (i'm 16) and i have only asked someone out once and got rejected. I only know her first name. That is all. I have seen her look at me a couple of times when i turned around. She sits behind me halfway accross the class in both classes. Of course when i saw her looking at me i turned hastly around as i do . How could i start talking to her? Or how could i show i'm interested?

Tell them "I like your PANTS" "PANTS" is considered a very funny word at our school. Trousers are okay but pants will probably get laughs if you say it right.

I've also gone through this. You can't stop thinking about her, can't sleep, get an annoying pain in your stomach and sometimes feel like banging your head against a wall. Just let it all out and tell her. It took me 1/2 a year to tell her and then i got rejected. it sucked getting rejected but the feeling went away.

If i wanted to attract some girls ( i'm 16 and have never gone out with anyone), would it be better to try and act a bit cooler (do my hair, wear "cool" clothes) or should i stay as i am ( i'm not that bad: i play Judo, skate, ski, mountain bike)? All the more popular people that i am friends with (but don't really hang out with them) seem to go to malls, parties and never do anything that would interest me that much. I've only been to one of these parties and it kind of sucked. The people i hang out with are friendly but i'm getting a little bored because there are about 10 of us and we always go round to one of their houses and play computer or cards, and i never seem to meet any new interesting people ( especially girls ).

I was just wondering, do girls really care wether a guy is a geek/nerd (i.e. plays RPGs, is brainy, doesn't do anything fancy with his looks, uses computers a lot)? I hang out in a group that some guys call the "geek gang".Most popular guys tend to treat me as if i was less imp[ortant than them , but girls tend to always say hello , talk to me if for some reason i'm sitting by myself in class and talk to me quite normally. If a girl was to choose between a geek and a popular guy, is she less likely to choose the geek?

Sometimes i get the feeling that she wants to make sure that i really do like her so nothing bad happens again. I had one of her best guy-friends ask me if i'm going to ask her again and if i've given up already. I haven't but i'm shy as hell and asking her out for the first time was a terrifying experience and i don't know if i can do it again knowing that if i ask her again and find out she doesn't lke me. Also if she wants to wait before getting a boyfriend i don't want to act as if i ignored the fact that she went through something bad.