hammo

Hey guys, not much has happened since i posted last. Both me and my girlfriend have caught a cold (probably from each other) My girlfriend seemed a lot happier the day after she told me about the cutting, even if she did cut herself later that same day (that will make it the third time she's done it). she also talked about it with two trusted mutual friends of ours and they both also suggested she goes to see a doctor. I'm pretty sure she can be convinced to go. Even if i am to break up with her, i want to help her with this so that it doesn't stay with her. I've heard that it becomes a habit that can stay with you for the rest of your life. I've told her that i really don't know what's going to happen, that i like her and girl1 both equally right now and i have no idea who to choose. I haven't said anything about contacting girl1. She sent me a message: “I want things to be as happy as possible for the next 2 months, we can't do anything til she gets back.i want 2 make the most of it now, i don't want 2 be unhappy 4 the next 2 months, i like you heaps and id rather not always anticipate getting hurt, it might not happen. I know u don't want to hurt me more later but me being upset about it all the time now isn't going to make it hurt any less if it does happen. i know it will be hard, but you're definitely worth struggling through this. I at least want to try. I will probably still be sad about it sometimes but i don't want it 2 be all the time. I like you heaps and i love spending time with you so do you think we could at least try? If we aren't good now there's next to no hope when she comes back. I like you too much to admit defeat when she's not even here. Please? Even if you change your mind when she gets back i want to have fun with you now. i like you heaps my darling!” I'm really feeling terrible now, because i know it's my fault that she's depressed. I told her this, and she said that it's not my fault and that i can't help my feelings for girl1, and that i shouldn't be sorry because it's not my fault. I haven't contacted girl1, but i have been talking to her a little thru e-mail over the last few weeks, and on wednesday i sent her an email and at the end i said "i might text you sometime this week, i have something i might want to discuss with you". There is a problem that has arisen from her latest e-mail (i got it on monday), she says she really likes it in the city where she's on holiday and she's thinking of staying there until the end of the year . My thoughts right now are that i'll leave things for a few days and see what happens - the thing is that when my girlfriend is happy, she seems so much more attractive and very often i feel that she is so wonderful and that there is no way i can break up with her. I really do not know who i like better now](*,) I'll post if anything new happens. And thanks for all your replys guys, they have been quite helpful.

Okay mystik and mouse_potato, you've convinced me. I want to tell girl2 the truth. The thing is do i tell her before i contact girl1 or straight afterwards? I want tell her everything and ask her what she wants to do. I know she likes me a lot and as far as i can tell she'd settle being second best if i gave her the choice to be with me anyway(if she chooses this should i got with it, or break up with her anyway?) Oh yes, and things just got a whole lot more complicated today afternoon, and i really don't know what to do now: I'm her third boyfriend. Her first boyfriend treated her like crap. She has had trouble trusting any guys since then, and she says i'm the first guy that's been really nice to her, even if i do like her friend as well. The problem is that she admitted to me that she's cut herself twice before, and is thinking of doing it again, because she's feeling depressed. She also told me about how when she was with her previous boyfriend she was very close to commiting suicide at one point(it wasn't because of him, she was just going through a rough time at work and school). She seems to have accepted the fact that there is a possibility i might break up with her because of girl1(i havent told her of my plan yet) She also told me she has been feeling constantly sad ever since her first boyfriend cheated on her (about 2 years ago) We had a talk about it, and i suggested that maybe she has depression and she should see someone about it. She told me the thought of having depression has never crossed her mind. I asked her if she would go see a therapist or someone(i'm going to try find someone, i have a friend who was depressed a while ago) if i went with her. She says she doesn't know, she says that it'd be difficult to for example, tell her parents that she might have depression. I think that i may have convinced her that its probably the best thing to do right now. I'm going to ring her later tonight to talk to her about it more. I also, as i have a few times before told her: "The future may be uncertain for us, but i want you to know that i will always care about you and will always be there to support you no matter what is going on between us. You are not only a good girlfriend but also a great friend and i want yo around in my life always no matter in what way. If you ever want a shoulder to cry on, cheering up, or just a hug, wether we are together as friends or a couple, all you need to do is tell me and i will help you." (this is all true and i really do mean it) What do i do guys? Help me? I want to break up with girl2 to go out with girl1, but i care about girl2 and i'm afraid of what she might do. I want to help her throught depression and any therapy/whatever but as a friend. (right now apart from holding hands and the occasional kiss we pretty much interact like best friends anyway.)

Yeah ill probably go with the original plan, and yes i will go behind girl2's back. I know its bad, but i think in this situation it will be best. I'll just ask girl1 to keep it a secret. (i've known her for 8 years as well and i think i can trust her *fingers crossed*) Yes actually they've been friends since they were 3. but their friendship has not been very good lately because of me. Which is may make it easier to convince girl1 to keep it a secret, and also more likely that girl1 will break that rule girls have. ... On the other hand if i ruined their friendship forever i would feel very guilty indeed. If i tell girl2 what i'm doing, ill lose her anyway wether i get rejected or not (or she'll be very unhappy in the relationship which i don't really want either) If i don't tell girl2 and i get rejected i still have a chance of staying with her and doing my best to forget girl1. If girl1 agrees to go out, as i said, she comes back in three months so i have that time to break up with girl2 in the nicest way i can find. It's the fact that i know that girl1 probably still likes me. If i knew for sure she didnt id get over her a lot easier, but if she does i cant stand the thought of missing my (probably) last chance of being with her.

Thanks for the reply mystik, i understand what you're saying. I'm probably just making excuses here.. but i am quite confident in saying that if girl1 was to stay overseas, or if she didn't exist, i would be ready to fall in love and quite possibly stay with girl2 for the rest of my life. That's what makes this so difficult for me to decide what to do. And no i really do want girl2 as a friend. ive been friends with her for almost 8 years, so i really do want her around wether as a girlfriend or friend.

my girlfriend does know i still like girl1, she just doesn't know how much. I told her when girl2 comes back, things may be uncertain, and she figured out that i might break up with her. I feel really horrible about this, but ill try to contact girl1 about this without letting girl2 know. if i get rejected, ill just stay with my current girlfriend and do my very best at getting over girl1. If i girl1 does agree to go out when she comes back, i have 3 months to figure out how to dump girl2 in the nicest most painless way i can possibly figure out (despite liking girl1, i care about girl2 and want her in my life if that is possible).

hey thanks for the advice. if anyone else has any advice, please share it.

Yea... girl1 really hurt my girlfriend's feelings a few times when she found out about us goiong out, and i'm pretty sure she'd at least strongly consider going out with me anyway (if she still likes me of course) My girlfriend is a forgiving person. The thing that worries me is that in situations like this she'd get depressed and blame herself for everything.. but that is a complete different story and i'll cross that bridge once i get to it. first i gotta find out if girl1 still likes me.

Sorry, maybe i didn't make this point clear: I started going out (she became my girlfriend) with girl1's best friend a few days before she came back from her first holiday. I'm STILL going out with girl2 if i find out girl1 still likes me, i'm going to break up with girl2. I know it's mean and i feel guilty for it, but i've made up my mind that i like girl1 more (no-one knows it yet) and i'll be happier with her. (btw, she gets back in three months, so i only have e-mail and text contact with her)

I've posted about this topic recently, there's one thing i'd like your guys' opinion on. I liked girl1 for quite a while (a year now), but she claimed she didn't like me, when in truth she was undecided. She went away for a month-long holiday (about 2 months ago) knowing that i still like her. When she came back she found out i had started going out with her best friend(girl2). Thats when i found out girl1 liked me. she was miserable and got into an argument with girl2. She was terrible started drinking heavily for one night (which isn't normal for her) a week later she went away for another 4month long holiday overseas. Girl2 (my girlfriend atm) went with her for 2 weeks (she came back 3 weeks ago). During these 2 weeks girl1 told my girlfriend that she likes me, a number of times. 2 days after the last time, she told girl2 she's stopped liking me in that way anymore (which is very hard to believe) It's been almost a month since i last spoke to girl1, other than two casual e-mails. The problem is ive decided i made a HUGE mistake, and i should have just quickly ended things with girl2 while i had the chance and gone after girl1. Question: girl1 obviously liked me a lot a month ago, and possibly for a time before that. Do u think she'd be over me by now, or do i still have a chance to turn things around? I've made up my mind that i want to try, ive thought about it for a few weeks now. (Note that she doesn't know this, she knows im going out with girl2 and thinks i like girl2 more)

It depends on what u look like. I never had girls chasing after me. This year i grew it long and i have a whole fanclub and theyre all fighting over me. I think my long hair has contributed to it lots, everyone tells me i look better with it. But there are guys who look terrible with long hair.

Okay this is a long post. It's a very confusing situation. A while back i was posting here about a girl i liked for a very long time. We'll call her Girl1. Girl1 rejected me three times at school throughout 2005. The reason i kept trying was because despite rejecting me she kept txting me all the time and flirting with me lots. (read some of my previous posts). Eventually i came to the conclusion that she just thought i was a genuinely good guy, just not the kind she would date. There was a rumour going around for a while that she liked me but didn't tell me because she was going away to au for 5 months, but when i asked her about it, she said it wasn't true. The day before she left she commented to me how much "it sucks how people you like never seem to like you back". I got the hint that she didn't like me. I told her i still liked her. Before i saw her for the last time before her trip she gave me a big hug. I was very depressed after she left. About two weeks later i started to become very good friends with her best friend, Girl2. Over the last three weeks we have slowly advanced and she is now my girlfriend and we both like each other very much. She is the first girl i ever kissed and she is very sweet. She tells me i'm the best guy she's ever been with and that she likes me very, very much. A week ago Girl1 returned from australia for a week. The plan was for her to go to australia for a month, come back for a week, go back to australia and take Girl2 (her best friend and my girlfriend) there for two weeks. Girl1 would then stay there for another 4 months, but Girl2 would come back after the two weeks, in time for university (the same university as me) When Girl1 was coming back me and Girl2 were both wondering what Girl1 would think, because after all i had liked her for almost a year. This is where things got weird. Girl1 was very annoyed when she found out. She was being a bit unpleasant to Girl2 and kept saying how weird it is that we're going out. She also said that me and girl2 must be perfect for each other because we both seem to get over people very quickly (girl2 just broke up with a boyfriend of 2 months about a month ago). It turns out that Girl1 liked me the whole time, but "Didn't want to go there" with me. (What the hell is that supposed to mean?) She was at a number of parties that both me and Girl2 were at, and she kept flirting with me and "accidentaly" touching me. Of course Girl2 (my girlfriend) was very worried, she didn't want to have her best friend constantly flirting with her boyfriend. Girl1 has also made it clear that she does want to date me now, if i choose to do so. This caused an argument between Girl1 and 2, but i think that they're better now, and both think that i like Girl2 more. I have told Girl2 that she doesn't need to worry, that i like her way more now than Girl1. But that's not true. I like them both just as much and i don't know what to do. I feel like i should and i want to like Girl2 more, but i am completely not over Girl1 and still feel very attached to her. Its killing me i don't know what to do. I feel that if i stay with Girl2 i'm going to miss out on a hell of a lot of fun with Girl1. At the same time, i don't think i would have the heart to drop Girl2 and choose Girl1. Girl1 is very attractive, wild, outgoing and funny. Girl2 is probably just as attarctive, but she is a lot less outgoing, but more intelligent (unlike girl1 she is going to university the same one as me). I feel that Girl1 has been selfish rejecting me that many times and leading me on, and now that i have a girlfriend, suddenly getting jealous and changing her mind. But i can't help but like her despite that. To sum it all up, i am attracted to Girl1 slightly more, but i feel that i have a brighter future with, and can trust Girl2 more. I am physically attracted to girl1 more (that isn't to say that girl2 isn't very sexy), but i get along emotionally with girl2 better and we have great conversations. I want to like Girl2 more, but i just can't. This is really killing me. I don't know what to do. Both girls are in australia at the moment, i think they're getting along reosnably well at the moment. Girl2 (my grilfriend) returns in two weeks, Girl1 returns in 4 months. I told Girl1 before she left that "despite everything, I haven't stopped caring about her and want to be her friend". I think what i might do is spend the 4 months with girl2 and see how i feel after. If i still aren't over girl1 and she isn't over me by then then i probably will drop girl2 and go out with girl1. I just can't help but feel guilty and selfish making plans like this. Why does this have to happen? i finally get a great girl for the first time in my life, and something like this happens. The world is out to get me i think. Please any advice or opinions would be very welcome.

Yea the first time i slowly put my hands down the back of her underwear, i asked if she's alright with where my hands are, and she said that if she "didn't like it she would have told me". When it comes to being comfortable, like i said we both spend half the time giggling and laughing, i don't feel nervous at all doing these things, and i do them very slowly so she has time to react to anything she doesn't like. She seems to also not be nervous and seems to have a lot of fun and get really turned on. I remember her heart beating very quickly very loudly and she commented that it's because she likes me so much. I might ask her next time i'm getting intimate with her if she thinks we're moving too fast. And yes i was partially waiting for the right girl, i've had quite a few options over the last two or so years, but she's the first girl that seems just "right". We have no problems with communication, and i feel like i could tell her absolutely anyhing. Thanks for the replies.

I have been going out with a girl "officially" for three days now. We are both abouth a month away from turning 18. She is my first girlfriend ever. We knew of each other for 7 years, became close frinds about a month ago, and have been going out for 3 days. I really like her and i know she really likes me. she tells me she gets goosebumps averytime i touch her. Also when i told her she was the first girl i ever kissed (she's had two boyfriends before me) she said "she's having trouble beleiving it because i'm amazing". She is a virgin and a bit of an "innocent christian girl" (although i'm beginning to doubt just how innocent she really is) We have spent the last three nights (since we started going out) together. The first night after a movie we were cuddling together on her couch and this is when we said that were going to be boyfriend/girlfriend. Other than cuddling, i kissed her once on the cheek. The next day she kept texting me how she misses me and wants me to hold her forever. Night 2:She came over the next evening. We were cuddling on the couch again and watching a dvd. Halfway through the film we said that we're sleepy and that the movie was getting boring. I turned off the light and the tv, and i turned my face towards hers, and we kissed straight away. It was my first kiss ever. It was crazy. I thought you're meant to take it slow at first on the cheek etc. but we were basically rolling around for two hours or so with our tongues in each others mouths. We then decided the couch was uncomfortable and we lay down on my bed, made out and i started kissing her on the neck and shoulders. Now i thought as i said above that she was a "innocent christian girl" so i was surprised when she let me put my hands under her bra and down her underwear. Basically the only place i didn't touch or kiss her that night was between her legs. Her nipples got very hard when i licked them as far as i know thats a good thing. We were fully clothed the whole time though. Whenever i put my hands anywhere like on her breasts she resisted a little but then let me, although after a while she would pull my hands away and hug me. Night 3: last night she had a party at her house. Near the end of the night a few people decided to stay including me. We all lay down to sleep. We lay on the floor under a blanket, and kissed keeping it quiet though cos there were people around. I tried to reach down between her legs over her clothes but she would pull my hands away and start tickling me. I did reach up her bra and everything again. She seems to quite enjoy it. She also always giggles and pokes and tickles me while we're kissing. The question is am i doing things right? It seems fine, but i don't know if we're not moving too quickly. I enjoy it a lot and i think she does too. Any suggestions or ideas would be welcome.

The Last Update Yes! She is now my girlfriend. We agreed on it last night.

Another Update: Okay she does like me I couldn't be any more sure, even though she hasn't admitted it yet. During dinner at her house nothing really happened (i wussed out ](*,)) We did say we'd go and see a movie on thursday together. I didn't suggest in any way that this might be a date. But last nite we were both at a friends party. She invited the guy she was texting round to it but he didn't show up and she was quite frustrated. We were both sitting on the same 2 person couch and talked. After a few people left, the rest decided to stay the night and sleep. We didn't do much sleeping but she insisted on sleeping on the same couch as me (it was very small) cuddled up to me. We kept playfully hitting each other and tickling each other, after a while we were watching a movie and she kept grabbing my hand and playing with my fingers. She seemed to enjoy it when i put my arms around her waist. She kept playing with her hair as well. We started joking around and calling each other darling and dear. One of my loud-mouthed friends said to us "why don't you guys just get it over with and go out". I said that we are going out on thursday(referring to the movie we previously planned) and she agreed with me. we haven't kissed or anything, but we always sit very close together and put our arms around each other now. All this was unspoken for the majority of it and i haven't admitted that i like her, although i always joke and suggest that i might. The same thing goes for her. So it looks like i have a date with her tomorrow. We are also going shopping together earlier that day, and we'll be eating dinner together. So guys, any advice? Also a question. All this physical stuff. Should i just not say anything about it? Should i actually tell her i like her, or should i just assume we are going out and treat her as if we were without actually discussing it?

Okay i think i might ignore huntsman's posts. There may be some truth in them, but most of it is crap. i'm not just after sex. Turns out il be also cooking and eating dinner at her house tonight, just me and her I'm hoping like hell all goes well.

Okay, she doesn't want sex because she is christian and doesn't believe in sex before marrage. (at least she didn't a year ago when she dumped her boyfriend at the time because he kept asking her to have sex with him). I still haven't had the chance to tell her anything because we have hardly had any time when we were alone, just bad luck. But we have spent almost every everyday of this week hanging out together. I will have to talk with her about it soon so i don't turn into just a good guy friend. Her family is leaving tomorrow morning for a week, and she asked me to come round that night to watch dvds with her.

Update: She came round in the morning, i gave her some band music, we practiced together for about half an hour, then listened to music. After a while me and her decided to go to the mall to get food. We hung around there for a few hours and went home. During this time we talked all the time. we had fun. At the end of the day she asked me if i wanted to come round to her house to watch the movie Madagascar, but i couldn't. She then said that i probably can't come round now that she thinks about it, because her brother and sister would be annoying. A few things happened: first of all i asked her what was happening between her and this new guy, and are they going out. She told me that they definitely aren't going out and prbably won't, and that he's kinda weird, although hes nice. (apparently he said after last night that he thought i was cool and very funny Last night (Monday) he also asked her what she's doing wednesday and she said "nothing". He said hed text her so they would get together. Today (Tuesday) when i was talking to her i said im getting paid on wednesday and im going to go into town shopping for music cds, and i asked if she wanted to come along. She said that she does and straight away texted this other guy telling him she was buisy on wednesday after all. I tried hinting to her that this might be some sort of date saying ill show her a good place to get food and that we could also see a movie while we're at it, she seemed happy to go with it although i don't know if she got the hint. She also told me that she really wants to teach me to dance (she does ballroom dancing and loves it) Another thing i forgot to mention before was that she works at a food takeaway place that i often go to (3 or 4 times a week), and i know all her work friends quite well (including her ex-boyfriend). Whenever i'm there with her her ex (who knows we've been hanging out together lately) always jokes about us two going out and about how i'm very lucky, and how she really likes me (she hasn't actually told him anything, he's just being stupid) and she always tells him to shut up in an annoyed voice. I'm not sure if this is because she's embaressed or because she doesn't actually like me. I didn't tell her how i feel ](*,), but it kinda didn't make sense at the time, but she seems quite happy to spend the majority of her spare time with me and we're both enjoying ourselves.I'm planning on using the line Ducky suggested on wednesday (tomorrow).

ok she's coming round soon. Yesterday i was at a gathering of six or so friends. She brought this guy she was texting along. He was kinda quiet and shy, and they hardly talked. He left before she did and as soon as he left she seemed to get more happy and hyperactive, and she started talking to me lots. I don't know what's happening between them, but im going to ask her out nonetheless. Theyve only known each other for two or three days so i probably still have a better chance than him.

I might just use that line. She's coming round tomorrow, so i might get the chance then. She was talking to me yesterday thru text. She was at some work party thing on a yacht and she was telling me how she feels really bad because she has to work with her ex and she can constantly see him chatting up other girls. I told her i'm having a staff meeting and we get free pizza. She said she wants some too. I told her she wouldn't be able to come, but i said we'll have to get pizza together sometime then. she said "sounds like a plan". she also keeps texting me telling me she's bored and wants me to entertain her Ok i'm convinced she either likes me or considers me a really good friend I hope it's the first one. I'll probably find out tomorrow. I'm kinda nervous

Okay, update: last night she texted me that she was bored. I said i was too. She asked if i wanted to come round and rent a video. We ended up renting 2 (Be Cool and Kung Fu Hustle are both good movies by the way), but when we got to her house, her parents were home earlier than expected, so we watched the movies, then had a quick chat and i went home (i didnt get a chance to tell her anything about how i feel). I noticed that during the movie she mirrored my body language a lot, resting her head on her arm exactly when i did too. Her pupils were very large when she looked at me as well. What worried me slightly was the fact that she was also texting some guy that asked for her number while she was at work. She kept telling me he's creepy and she wishes he'd leave her alone, but at the same time she spent like $10 talking to him We said that she'd come round on tuesday for the band meeting, and because my friend has got bored of it she's saying it could be just me and her making music. She said for me to bring alcohol because i sing better then (neither of us are 18 yet so i doubt she was being serious). Hopefully ill get the chance to tell her how i feel when she comes round.

i went to the dinner before i posted this actually... nothing happened there, her family was nice but she didn't display any signs or anything. Yea ive convinced myself to tell her how i feel as soon as i see her next which will be in the next few days probably

Thanks for the reply. I might just do that. Also do u think that asking me to dinner with her family was some sort of sign? She seemed like she really badly wanted me to come. And my friends who were there at the time also thought it was kinda "suspicious".

I play the saxophone and it hasn't helped me get girls! Neither has my piano playing! Whats up with that! I've played in fron of loads of people! (mostly on sax, im not good on piano yet)

There was a girl i ve posted a few times about recently. Well... now i like her best friend... Ive known this new girl for about seven years, but i was never really good friends with her, never saw her outside of school and never found her particularly attractive or interesting. ( this could have been because i liked her best friend who was always with her) She recently broke up with her boyfriend, but before that she talked to me via text every week or two. I was friendly, but i wasn't really interested in her. After the girl i liked previously left for her overseas holiday, i found out this new girl i like is quite good at music. Me and my friend have been talkin about starting a band for a while, so i asked if she'd like to play piano in it. She was extremely excited about it saying that of course she wants to and that she loves music. I didn't like her at this point and we didn't really hang out or anything, i just thought she would be useful. My friend tried giving her some cd's at school to listen to that were of mine and his mutual musical tastes, but she didn't like any of it. We've also been joking for a few days about her being in love with me, and how she loves no one else, and how when she's free she's going to sleep with me, and how she'll enjoy screaming my name (despite being a very polite and innocent christian girl). We joke about it all the time and she laughs a lot about it. I invited her round to my house for the first time a few days ago, so i could show her some sheet music for her to practice. We ended up listening to the music she originally didn't like all day and she said she liked it after all . We also talked about life in general (nothing too deep and meaningful). She seemed to really enjoy talking, laughed at all my jokes, even the unfunny ones. It's rare for me to be able to talk to anyone, let alone a girl for pretty much a whole day, without feeling awkward or having moments when i have nothing to say. This is when i realised how pretty and how interesting she really was. I would have never imagined myself attracted to her, but now suddenly i can't stop thinking about her. Later at around 8 in the evening, i had two more (guy) friends around, and we were having a big chat. Then a phone rang and a nother one of my friends, who made it obvious that he liked this girl asked to talk to her. He asked her if she liked me or any of the other two guys and she said to him "no i don't like them, theyre my friends, just like you are". She then told us about how this guy was scaring her by coming on too strong when she didn't even like him. Then she was joking about how i should walk her home the next day from work to protect her from him. I said ill walk her home from work the next day (i was having a party later that night and she was invited) to my house. She said shell need to get changed so we'll go past her house, and she asked if i wanted to have dinner at her house with her family. I said i wasn't sure i could, but she insisted on it. So i did. At the party at my house, she didn't want to sit next to the guy that liked her, so she sat next to me the whole time, even though there were free seats next to her female friends. We didn't talk much one-on-one that night but she seemed to notice everything i said and laughed even when no-one else did. The next day (today) she was at the mall, but we talked all day trough text about how she wanted a puppy. Just now i was talking to her about her best friend who's overseas (The girl who i've liked for a long time now, her best friend), and she asked if still like her ( i do, but less, because i now also like this new girl), I told her that i do like her friend and i miss her a lot. She then said she has some work to do, im not sure if it she was telling the truth or if she was disappointed about my answer or something. I thought it would be best to not say anything yet, because she just broke up with her boyfriend a month ago, and although she's better now, and almost over him (i think), i rekon she might not want another boyfriend yet. So there are lots of signs indicating she might like me, but afraid as with many girls previously that she only sees me as a friend. Should i ask her out, tell her how i feel, wait or what? Please help me! I don't want to take ages as i did with previous girls when it comes to asking them out.