fleecy

Sorry, but I had to laugh out loud when I read this list. I also would like to know what YOU can offer such an accomplished woman? Why should she want to be w/ you? Could you live up to HER list? -I don't think genetic research is advanced enough to make your model wife yet. -Wouldn't life be perfect if all the attributes we wished for could be present in our life partner? (Perhaps attributes we ourselves lack.) -Such strangling control only produces stress leading to strokes & heart attacks. -Do you also expect your child to adhere to such stringent standards? Children have minds of their own & to enforce such 'Stepfordesque' control would surely stunt their growth as individual thinkers, cause repressed feelings & could be considered a form of child abuse. -I suggest you spend some time in the real world & lighten up or else only have your list to keep you company. Oh, BTW here's my list: My perfect man would have to be a virgin yet be great in bed, have a handsome face & fine physique, hate all sports, have an impressive, high-paying job from which he could never be laid-off or surplused yet still spend quality time w/ the kids, be a gourmet cook, be extremely nurturing esp. when I'm sick, love my family as much as I do & be willing to help them whenever they really needed it as I'm sure they would for us if a crisis arose, be imaginative, creative & love art, be romantic minded remembering every anniversary, birthday & holiday w/ gifts & flowers, watch all the same tv shows I like, go to all the events I want to attend, go shopping (no whining) & of course never correct me even if I'm wrong.

Of course when a relationship is new & you're still getting to know each other that mystery & excitement is very fresh. As time goes by & you get more used to being around the person & that newness may fade, but if you two really love each other it will grow into something more solid than just a casual relationship, where you can depend upon one another. -If she is depressed it could be something separate from the relationship itself. Ask her to share her feelings & that you'd like to help if you can. -- I don't mean to sound discouraging, I only want the best for you both, but if you two are teens it may be too early in life to have such a heavy relationship. Real love is not always just having a good time w/ each other, it can mean a lot of compromise & understanding. Real love is putting the other person's needs ahead of your own. Evaluate each other's needs & expectations from the relationship then decide your course from there. All the best.

Men's egos are more fragile than we think, esp. if he's had a rough childhood. BTW, how old is he? - Maybe you should talk to him about this more openly not just in facial expressions or one-liners. Tell him you've noticed a change in his demeanor lately. When you started dating he seemed much more confident & independent, but now he seems different. And you are wondering what caused this change. -How exactly does he act babyish? Does he want you to wait on him like a mom? or is he clingy? does he throw tantrums when he doesn't get his way? - Depending on his age & maturity level perhaps he is just testing the strength of the relationship & what you are willing to do for him (or maybe just put up with). At any rate, just talk to him & tell him what you expect from a man & a relationship & ask him to tell you the same. Be open & honest & maybe this will clear things up & you will know what each other wants & needs. Hope this has helped.

I can empathize w/ being very shy & it has taken me yrs to at lessen it. It's not easy, it's actual work. There are several self-help books on the subject. As for approaching someone try practicing in the mirror saying something aloud, I know it sounds lame but first impressions make all the difference. Be confident but not arrogant, women appreciate being treated like ladies but also respected as individuals. Go to places you feel comfortable, a club or bar where loud music makes it hard to talk & hear is tricky, you might even want to write notes, that can almost turn into a cute flirty game, even some bars have single nights sometimes sponsored by dating services, on-line chat rooms are OK but can mean long-distance relationships, dating services usually have 3 month trials for little money, some churches & special interest clubs have singles groups too. I hope some of this has helped & you will meet that soulmate. Good Luck!

I do appreciate the advice. I don't like to think my friend would be that vicious, but anger can bring out the worst in people. We do already have a mutual friend who still talks w/ both of us (via phone & email) & shows no signs of favortism either way. She just wants a peaceful solution. I do plan to call my friend to talk everything out before the convention. -I just hope we can put all this behind us & focus on the positive aspects of our friendship. I feel like I've tried my best to make ammends. Sometimes I think she just wants to know she's 'won' the argument & I don't see it that way. We had some misunderstandings, they happen, you apologize, you move on. Maybe she wants me to promise I'll never hurt her feelings again. I don't see how that's realistic though. I find it very difficult to understand her very high scale of sensitivity. I suppose it's because I consider her to have had a rather sheltered life. While other friends & I have been through much tougher times w/out so much drama. -I will probably end up writing down what I plan to say to her over the phone. I just want some peace in this situation. Thanks again

I've been long-distance friends w/ this girl for 8ys. We attend a convention together once a yr. Mostly we've gotten along fine, until these past 3 yrs. We've had some disagreements that I personally considered over minor things. To her they are major. I had never meant to hurt or ignore her feelings or wishes, but I still get the impression she thinks I did w/ evil intent beforehand. I have tried to explain that we have very different perceptions of these things & apologized many times. But all I get back from her are more 'sins' I have committed & that I am being manipulative & only trying to 'justify' my actions. -This convention is only 2 weeks away & I am stuggling over what to do. Options I've thought of are: 1.Go ahead & call her & try to resolve this once & for all before the convention. Even though this might mean we may not be on speaking terms at the event, which I don't want. 2.Suggest we 'suspend' the disagreement until after the convention, either discussing it at the end while we're both there or wait until we get home. 3.This may be too much but; while at the event try to find a 3rd friend to act as mediator, or even perhaps a few friends, & discuss it at the end of the convention. --I guess I just find it very hard to relate to her feelings since I don't view these as major problems & she does. I think she has over-reacted & has blown them all out or proportion. Also it hurts my feelings as well to think that she views me as a manipulator where my only objective is to hurt her. -If anyone has any other suggestions I'd be most happy to hear them. Thanks