DavidLarson

I don't know dude, sometimes its hard to break out of habits. My GF cheated on me (online) and I made her promise never to talk to the guy again but she had created a bond with him and breaking it off over night was not easy for her. I think she eventually did because she realized I couldn't handle sharing her with him and WOULD have broken up with her. I like to think she hasn't spoken with him again.

I don't know what to tell you to do between now and then but I can tell you from experience, the second you find someone else that you like; you'll forget completely about her. I was dating a girl back in September and she broke up with me. She started dating someone new about 3 weeks later and every time I saw a picture of them or even thought about them kissing it made me angry. I got a girlfriend of my own a few weeks later (not to counter her new relationship, it just happened) and I hit it off with this new girl and didn't give a damn about the last girl anymore. Point is, it does pass. When will it for you? I don't know, but you should try to move on. It doesn't sound like something serious is in your cards just yet; but try dating or just going out with some girls. You'll see; it'll help you move on. There is light at the end of the tunnel.

Amen. My girlfriend was doing the exact same thing. Except I was giving her all the attention and some she was asking for. Either way, she came clean about it and it ripped my guts out. She called it "harmless flirting," at first, but it turned into more and I got hurt. I and continue to suffer for what she did every day. Seriously. STOP talking to that guy. Deal with your relationship and if you break up; THEN go flirt. Wow, this is so wicked; my girlfriend even uses that pinkish/purplish font color when she writes. Please stop what you're doing. Even though your BF sounds like a lug; nobody deserves this treatment.

That or just have a tissue nearby to catch it.

I would not assume he got drunk JUST to tell you. It is very possible he got drunk and then REALIZED he needed to tell you. As a guy just a couple of years older than him, I can explain to you exactly what's going on here. 1) He's got his pals and he's trying to make them happy. They're extremely jealous for many aspects. (A) He's got a healthy relationship and (excuse me, he's probably having sex if you guys have been together 7 years) (B) He's got a good job and © He's spending more time with you than them. So his friends are jealous. That's why they're giving him a hard time. That is why they are trying to get him to "sleep with other girls." It's because they need him to fail so they will feel better. I don't think they're doing this consciensly, but that's what's going on in their head. I can almost promise you that. So your BF is being given a hard time. He chooses you, ultimately, but he's trying to make them feel better too which is extremely difficult. If you completely scold him for telling you this stuff; he's going to have a hard time coming to you in the future to explain stuff to you out of fear you're going to blow up on him. I would suggest you try talking very calmly (not aggressively) with him about how you feel about it. You're more likely to get the truth out that way and find out what's the real problem here. He probably didn't tell you what he was doing with his guy friends because he thought you might not approve. I don't know if that's the case or not but that's 99% of the time the reason why guys keep things from their girlfriends. The guy's going through some important maturing stages of his life. I'm not telling you to WITHOUT QUESTION should stay with him; but it's not like he was out sleeping with other girls or something like that, he's just hanging with his friends. Express that you need him to be honest with him in the future and it is also important that YOU establish a relationship with him where you can let him be honest with you without getting his head torn off. Just a few thoughts on the subject. I hope that helps some.

There is a lot going on and I'll try to explain it. I'm dating a 35 year old girl and I'm 25. She's been married twice and has one child and this is my first serious relationship. We've been dating only 4 months now but we're so close it's scary. I have no question in my mind that I love her and we're planning on killing the gap in a couple of months. I just graduated from college and I am ready to move out as soon as my current lease runs out. I have always been an advocate about having great communication and honesty with each other. I have always felt it creates a strong bond not only now but for the future. I've always been good at talking to her about how I feel about things and I'm even better at listening to her when she has things to say. Anyhow, about a month ago she came to me and admitted to me that she had an online friend (who lived in Europe) that she had feelings for. She said that she had been having these feelings for about a week and a half and that she realized she wanted me and not him. She had a hard time cutting the other guy off, but has finally done so. She tells me that she loves me every single day; ... in fact 20 to 30 times a day and I feel is giving a good effort to really focus and get us back to where we were. We were so cute with each other the first 3 months. Anyhow, the major problem is this ... she has no self confidence. I think that is what led her to talking to this other guy even though she has made up excuse after excuse about why that really happened. He made her feel good about herself. It is always nice to be wanted, you know? Anyhow, she's always complaining about grey hairs that she has and I try to let her know that I am not bothered by them and that I think they're kinda sexy, etc., etc. So anyhow, we've been moving on and things have been great. She has another small problem ... she lacks an ability to multi-task. Like, she can't talk to me and do the dishes at the same time. And worse, she will always try. So we'll be talking ... she'll of course focus on what she has to say and then when I start saying something she'll start doing the dishes and not hear 3/4 of what I say. I felt somewhat ignored and tried yesterday to bring this up and she started crying and I tried to cheer her up (which I know was impossible), but ... I felt I had a right to voice a concern in the relationship. She tells me she needs a few minutes to think about it. She calls me back an hour later and COMPLETELY turns it on me. She turns it into a "I feel like you're just obsessed with me and not actually in love with me, sometimes." I think this is 10 miles out of bounds obsurd and I think she knows it. It then turns into "I feel like I'm not good enough for you," rant. She claims she can't do anything right. When she cheated on me with the guy online, I never yelled at her. I never degrated her for what she did. I was very calm in how I talked things out with her. I think at times she's mad at me for NOT getting super mad at her. It hurt, but I didn't feel it was objective to yell at her. What would that have solved? Anyhow, I think this is the second time I have brought something like this up to her. I tried to make very light of it and let her know it wasn't a huge deal. Just something I thought I'd bring up. And she goes into rant about how she can't do anything right and she's not good enough for me, blah blah. Well, I love her. I don't care if she's perfect and I tell her that all the time. I love her just the way she is. I try to tell her how wonderful she is all the time, but I just ... I don't know. I don't know how to handle this. I don't know how to talk to her if I have problems and if I can't talk to her when I have problems without her acting like this ... how can I communicate with her? And if I can't communicate with her, how is this supposed to work? HELP! Please! -David Larson