delusion79

here's the deal.. There is this friend of mine who has just recently broken up with his long time, on and off again girlfriend. This time I know it's over with, God I hope it is, for his sake. He's horrible right now. He was so in-love with her and all he can thin about is her. His life is going to shreds.. I'm trying to comfort him and help him think about other things. He's so negative about the whole thing, which I think he has every right to be. The girl cheated on him, lied to him.. all kinds of nice stuff. What ended it was him finding her in bed with another guy.. heart breaking. When I try changing the subject, I can tell that he's not even really paying attention to what I'm saying.. he's thinking about her.. I try and tell him that it will take time, and that he will be better off.. and he needs to worry about his own life and not what happens to her. Nothing seems to penetrate. He just started taking prozac to help.. I don't know how I feel about that but it's not my life, all I know is that if it helps more power. I'm just reall worried about him and don't want him to hurt himself or anyone else. He's not happy.. not even good. Could someone please give me some advice.. I'm lost and I can only imagine how he's feeling right now. I tried telling him about this site and how it's helped me, but he doesn't seem interested..?

Ok... I dont know if i'm just freaking myself out on purpose.. not on purpose but causing more anxiety. Today at work.. I don't know if I started to fall asleep or passout.. but I couldnt take my eyes off of my keyboard.. and I kept saying to myself that it was too real.. over and over again in my head. Then it was like a swarm of bees.. like I was going in a tunnel, everything was just moving really fast around me and I could'nt break out of it.. I tried to breath and I could'nt catch my breath.. I have this trick when I can't catch my breath, I try and breath through my nose.. it's something that makes me feel better atleast., I really dont know why? After that I kind of came back into reality and it was like everything whooshed right past me again.. I felt like I was going to go crazy and not come back, which scared me even more.. I'm glad no one can see me in my cubicle because they probably would've laughed at me or tried to take me to the hospital.. I know I looked like a kid who loses their parents in the shoppong mall.. I couldn't control how I was feeling.. I went back to semi-normal atleast, but kept that feeling of dread like it was going to happen again any second. I kept thinking that I might have a heart-attack from thinking that way.. The feeling would'nt go away. When I was reading my book at work after this, the context wasn't about computer programming, it was about me.. in a way.. how I'm screwing up and all kinds of negative things.. I really don't know whats happening with me.. I'm a sane person and I can rationalize in any situation. But this is something I've never experienced.. The thing is when this all came about I was just doing some work and not thinking about anything else but work. So, I don't know where this came from.. I'm seriously considering seeing my family doctor or someone.. i don't want my days to be like this, and I don't want to fear going through that again someone help... advice.. something

I agree with MacGyverRI... take it slow... and if you feel like your developing deeper feelings for him, talk to him about it.. Find out how he feels... how long have you been talking now? Do you think your friend would be upset by any of this? Just take your time... time makes for a better foundation

Sometimes there's that one person who makes everything negative go away.. it's comforting to know that you have that. You will find it again...! Going to school just think of everyone new you will meet and how many new relationships you will have. You can start over when you go to college, that's the great thing. Be the person you really want to be the shy kid... that's what happened with me. I became a more confident person, I didn't have all of that old baggage.. Start fresh and just imagine the possibilities.. they're endless.. This is a great time of your life.. make the most of it!

That's what I'm doing right now.. it helps, i can't imagine still being there. That's part of what makes me feel even worse... i left her to be alone with it.. This helps to, being able to talk to someone about it... thank you

It's not that far yet... that's one thing that is really screwing with me.. I've lived in this town my whole life and now my name if this is publicized my career could be ruined among a bunch of other things.. there are so many people who know this person and I know I had nothing to do with this, but I don't know how I can look anyone in the face. As far as school goes, i was supposed to graduate this semester and now it's probably not going to happen. I have to retake 3 classes because of what happened, and I'm not eligible for financial aide.. I'm trying scholarships and all that. Sometimes it just gets so overwhelming I just want everything to end, or I want something bad to happen to the person who did this because I know it would end certain events from occurring. I never thought I would ever think anything like this, and I'm ashamed for even thinking like this.. I don't know what elsse to do..

I don't really know what's going on. I don't know if this is the right place to put this iposted it in another one... but who knows, it just seems like there are so many problems in my life right now, I can't handle it. it's one thing on top of another. Sometimes during the day, like right now, it feels like someone is screaming inside my head. Almost like I'm going to burst, or they're screaming to be let out, but it's me screaming... I don't know what to do.. I'm scared I dont want to talk to my friends about this... I cant talk to them about this. I don't like showing how I'm feeling, I've always been like that.. it just is so bad right now. I've always been able to handle my problems on my own... I don't want to talk to a shrink.. I just want to be happy and not worry or feel like this any more.

Thank you all for your support! There are just so many things going on right now... The end of last year up until now have been some of the worst days of my life. It's not from something I did, something a family member did, and it has ruined our entire family. I can't be to specific, but when you grow up believing someone is a certain way, they guide you to be a good moral person.. so on.. and then they do this it crushing. I never imagined this ever happening or this person ever doing something like this. They had no regard for how their actions were going to effect any one else, and now this situation has caused me to lose so much. It's screwed up my schooling, relationships with friends, family, and a lot of other aspects of my life. I cringe when someone says my last name, because I don't want anyone to know I'm associated with this person. It's disgusting, shamefull... Then on top of it I feel horrible for what another family member has to go through... I can't help her, to me she's always seemed so helpless and now this is devasted her. I always feel like I have been so strong, I love to help people with their problems.. I almost pride myself on it.. because I know that I can help. Now I don't know what to do.. everytime I think about it or get in this state of mind I breakdown... I know I cant hold it in... but I don't know if I can afford to talk to a professional.. I just feel lost... my world isn't what it used to be..

I don't really know what's going on. I don't know if this is the right place to put this, it just seems like there are so many problems in my life right now, I can't handle it. it's one thing on top of another. Sometimes during the day, like right now, it feels like someone is screaming inside my head. Almost like I'm going to burst, or they're screaming to be let out, but it's me screaming... I don't know what to do.. I'm scared I dont want to talk to my friends about this... I cant talk to them about this. I don't like showing how I'm feeling, I've always been like that.. it just is so bad right now. I've always been able to handle my problems on my own... I don't want to talk to a shrink.. I just want to be happy and not worry or feel like this any more.

Thank you again! It's comforting to know that there are people out there who you don't even know who are willing to help, and give advice. I really appreciate your advice(repsonse), it's helping as I type..! Katie

That is everything I've wanted to say and felt, but never had have the nerve, or I respect for myself. I don't set my standards high and by having low standards I do things to myself, for example: this situation, obviously. I need to be more confident, and I know if I do this it will only help me in the future. Truly if he is that good of a friend he will respect me and maybe it will open his eyes, along with my own. I just seriously lack the confidence and have low self-worth. Then at the same time, I know I have a lot to offer the right person and my friends, and I shouldn't lay down for anyone.. Thank you very much, your response, although somewhat upsetting, is right on, and you don't want to face these negative things about yourself. When someone puts it right in front of you it helps to see how ugly it really is.. Sincerely.. thank you!

Here's the deal... There is this guy friend of mine, we've been friends for about 2yrs now. Things have been ok between us. I've always had a sexual and romantic attraction for him. I'm really not sure how he feels.. The thing is, we used to talk all the time, and when I say all the time morning, noon, and night, and even some times in between. And then he got a girlfriend... He didn't call me that much if at all, we stopped hanging out all the time, the works. I told him that I wanted to meet his girlfriend, needless to say I never did.. I don't know if it's because she was jealous of me or whatever else. Throughout their relationship they have broken up and got back together more times than I can count. I have always been there for him when times were rough. I cant say he's always been there for me, but I'm not the most emotionally expressive person in the world. Now, they have broken up... I think it could be permanent this time, but who can tell. Recently we have been spending a lot of time with each other. He's stayed at my house a couple of times, slept in the same bed, but didn't do anything. And I've stayed at his house. The thing that I want to know is what is going on in his head... I'm not sure how to confront him about this? I don't know if he thinks of me as a stand-in. Someone to hang out with /use/ while he doesn't have anyone else to hang out with. I had talked to another friend about this, and she mentioned something about him possibly being embarrased of me. I'm not the skinniest person in the world, and he usually dates petite women. Is he ashamed of me, does he want to have somekind of relationship but scared that other people will judge him because of the way I look. I think I am rather attractive, honestly, I just have a little extra weight... What do I do?

Sure I'm willing to risk rejection, the thing is I think I already know what he's going to say, that's the sad part. The worst part about this is that I really do think he is just using me while he has no one else to talk to. I'm glad there hasn't been any sexual happenings between us, but it hurts more to come to this realization that he is getting everything he wants from me, while not having to give anything in return. The thing is, and these might just be excuses that I am giving myself to make the situation sound better, he just lost his job, girlfriend, and he's having a lot of other struggles right now, and I know that I am maybe his only friend. I feel if I confront him about this now, it will just make things even worse on him, but at the same time, I know this is already hurting me. I don't want to lose him as a friend, but a real friend wouldn't use you like this, for their own personal gain, would they? This whole thing is just upsetting...

Here's the deal... There is this guy friend of mine, we've been friends for about 2yrs now. Things have been ok between us. I've always had a sexual and romantic attraction for him. I'm really not sure how he feels.. The thing is, we used to talk all the time, and when I say all the time morning, noon, and night, and even some times in between. And then he got a girlfriend... He didn't call me that much if at all, we stopped hanging out all the time, the works. I told him that I wanted to meet his girlfriend, needless to say I never did.. I don't know if it's because she was jealous of me or whatever else. Throughout their relationship they have broken up and got back together more times than I can count. I have always been there for him when times were rough. I cant say he's always been there for me, but I'm not the most emotionally expressive person in the world. Now, they have broken up... I think it could be permanent this time, but who can tell. Recently we have been spending a lot of time with each other. He's stayed at my house a couple of times, slept in the same bed, but didn't do anything. And I've stayed at his house. The thing that I want to know is what is going on in his head... I'm not sure how to confront him about this? I don't know if he thinks of me as a stand-in. Someone to hang out with /use/ while he doesn't have anyone else to hang out with. I had talked to another friend about this, and she mentioned something about him possibly being embarrased of me. I'm not the skinniest person in the world, and he usually dates petite women. Is he ashamed of me, does he want to have somekind of relationship but scared that other people will judge him because of the way I look. I think I am rather attractive, honestly, I just have a little extra weight... What do I do?