sunshine13

I shouldn't say that I enjoy it but I do. After how he treated me and NEVER wanted to speak to me again after a 4 year relationship. He ended up looking like the fool in the end. For anyone who reads this. . .and the last response. Things do turn around. This is the time that you get to start laughing and stop crying.

If you get a chance. . . Look at my post under "funny". . . Don't call or text or bother with him anymore. They can't handle that and start to wonder. I went through the same exact thing that you are going through. DON'T CONTACT HIM! . . . . It works.

I am not sure if he cares how dumb he looks. Probably like I didn't care how dumb I looked when I was crying all of the time and begging him to come back to me. I guess it all does come full circle. I haven't heard back from him again since Saturday night. It does sound like something from high school. . . I am just very happy that he did it b/c it definitely stopped the tears and actually let me laugh for a while at his expense!!

I am not sure who all read my previous post. But anyway. . I have stuck to no contact over the past few weeks. I knew that my ex was going to Vegas for the weekend. Friday night I woke up to my phone vibrating and checked the calls. There was a call from my exes phone number I checked the voicemail and it was one of his friends that said "I love you, I want to marry you, I am very sorry" and made kissing noises into the phone and hung up. I laughed for a long time. This is who I am upset over ??? A bunch of 30 year old men who are in Las Vegas prank calling calling me? They don't have anything better to do in the party capital of the world? It made me realize a lot. Of course I broke no contact so I text him and let him know that I accepted him proposal and then wrote "Real Mature!!!". Then on Saturday night I was at the bar with my friends and at 2:00 in the morning got a "private, blocked" phone call which i only receive when my ex is down and out. . . as soon as I answered he hung up. Then he called again private so I had my friends fiance get on the phone and ask them to stop calling so late they were waking us up. I cannot believe that I cried for weeks and was devastated over someone so immature!!!!! Keep up with the no contact!!! It drives them nuts that they resort to pranking your phone while they are supposed to be having fun!! Losers!!!

I have already gone to counseling. It didn't help much. Generally I am a happy go lucky, fun loving person. It is just this relationship that tears me apart. I just think that it is back and forth, love hate thing that keeps pulling me in. The addiction seems to be just seeing if I can get him back. When he is there I don't want him but then he slams the door in my face and I want him more than anything in the world. Don't get me wrong. . . there were definitely good, loving, happy times in the relationship. I feel like I always need his "approval". It is disturbing b/c his life is not all that together. He is in credit card hell, lives in an apartment in a run down little city. I am not sure why I am constantly looking for him to want to be with me. Oh well. . .I am sure it will get better. Maybe I would have a lot more satisfaction to move on if I actually said NO to him once! I looked up the term "ambivalent men". . . . sounds about right.

Very good advice. The one thing I haven't done is sit around and wait. I have done everything pretty much by the books. I joined a gym, went to the Ohio State game last weekend, I am going to Michigan with some friends this weekend, I am constatntly making plans and "talking" to other people. I get concerned when I start dating other people b/c that last "great" guy. . . . I broke his heart and he hates me for it. I don't want to do that to anyone again. It's not fair.

No. This has never happened before. He is the only "serious" relationship I have had in the past 7 years.

I agree with you. He pretty much lacks any sort of respect for me. It has basically gone on and off for the past 4 1/2 years b/c as soon as he knows that he has me back. . . he starts treating me like garbage again and takes off. I was in another relationship when we got back together this last time (with a great guy) and he came to me pretty much begging to take him back. I was stand-offish at first b/c I know how it goes with him. He "seemed" to make all of the changes he said that he was going to for about the first 4 months. Then once he knew he had me where he wanted me. . . it was back to the same old thing. I felt like I was doing EVERYTHING in the relationship and he could care less whether I was there or not. Any way. . every time he has broken up with me he REFUSES to speak to me . . . I get over it and he comes back. I seriously think there is something wrong with me that I take him back! Thank you for the advice!!!

I am in some real need of advice today. My b/f (on and off) for4 1/2 years broke up with me over a month ago. I was talking to my friends the day before he ended it and I was telling them how unhappy I was in the relationship. I am from the city and was about to move to the middle of no where and give up my job, friends etc. to be out there with him. It was definitely a one sided relationship. I did everything and he contributed nothing. . .wouldn't even hang out with my friends. I KNEW I was miserable. The night he ended it I was devasted!! I still get upset and think about it all of the time. I cry, I have not been good at no contact and tell him how much I miss him. I feel very lonely and all of that. Am I going crazy?? I was miserable!!!??? It was a terrible relationship. He had ended things about 10 times in the past. It is always the same thing. He dumps me and I go crazy. I know I don't want the type of lifestyle he lives and he was basically not good to me. I am holding on to the whole 4 things he might have done for me in the past. I don't get it. . .why am I even upset??? Am I just wanting something I can't have?

I am leaving for the day from work. But if you will be online tomorrow I will talk to you further. I think we can probably help each other get through it. I know I will try to give you the best advice I can. I know how bad it hurts!!!!

I know exactly what you are going through. I came to this site to post and to see what others were doing to get better. Have you talked to him since the break up? I keep seeing that everyone says No Contact. Unfortunately, I have compromised myself on this and have called, texted, emailed and went to his house to get my belongings. Please don't make the same mistake. My situation is "almost" the same. We were supposed to be moving in together November first. We were not fighting and doing very well. Then all of the sudden we got into an argument on the phone and it was over. I have not heard from him since. But don't beat yourself up about something you may have said out of anger. WE HAVE ALL SAID THINGS OUT OF ANGER and I am sure he is not perfect. That pain is going to be there for a while. Since my fight with my ex was trivial just as yours was. I have told myself. . . If he really loved me then he would not throw away everything we had over a dumb argument. You would work it out. All relationships take work. But trust me on the fact that No Contact will work the best. Keep crying, be depressed and work through the emotions. Each day gets ****slightly**** better. It has been 4 weeks since my ex and I have broken up and I texted him 4 times today. So I am not giving advice! Just letting you know that we are here for you regardless what the future is.

I am very sorry that you are going through this. I am going through the same pain. I do want to tell you that each day gets slightly better. I could not eat anything and cried my eyes out everyday for two weeks. I didn't want to go out with my friends or join clubs or date (like everyone tells you to do). I honestly get tired of hearing "join a gym" "go rock climbing". . . If you didn't want to do those things before. . . why would you now? What you do have to do is stop being so hard on yourself. MAKE yourself eat. That will automatically have an effect. Your body is going through a deep depression right now. You need the food and the sleep to survive. I went to my dr. and got sleeping pills actually. May not be the best thing but at least I am eating and sleeping. I still call, email and text my ex who has not spoken to me in 4 weeks. . since the day he broke up with me. He wont respond at all and it is devastating to me. But with each day I am getting better. Instead of calling every day. I may text once every 3 days. I make sure that I cry when I need to, force myself to go out with friends even if I am miserable. I wake up in the morning and tell myself that today is going to be a better day. I know the hurt you are feeling right now. TRUST ME. That is why I am not really giving you advice. Just here to give some support and let you know that you don't have to trust right away or stop being upset. Take each minute by minute, then hour by hour and day by day and go from there. Someone just may shock you. . . and you will love again.

This may be long so I apologize in advance. I met my ex four years ago. Everything was great and he loved me more than anything for about 6 months. Then he ended it. We would see each other around and had mutual friends. Every time we were out somewhere he would corner me and tell me how much he loved me and couldn't be without me. Then the next day would call to apologize. He was drunk and didn't remember. After about 6 months of being broken up he would call me and want to get back together. I was always so upset about him that I would take him back. 6 months later he would break up with me and do the same thing. This had gone on for 3 1/2 years! I finally got into another relationship with someone who treated me like a princess! Then the ex started calling again and I could not resist. He was telling me how he realized how much he needed me and that everything was going to be different this time. I ended it with the "great" guy and got back with the ex. He lives 2 hours away from me but every weekend from Friday until Monday we spent together. I got very close with his family. He asked me to move in with him. We bought a puppy together and everything was great. He bought me a dozen roses and surprised me with a day at the spa. He would always tell me how happy he was and that he never wanted me to leave and talked about marriage. I spent my entire summer at his softball tournaments (he is 28), hung out with his friends b/c he didn't like mine, did everything he wanted to do. I lent him money and helped him with consumer credit counseling b/c he was in credit card hell. I bought him groceries. I can't list everything but pretty much did every thing in the world for him. One night on the phone he asked me to come up that Saturday so we could finalize plans for moving in. He told me that he was in love with me and was ready for this. I then found out that he got rid of our puppy that week and we got into an argument and he kept saying to me that he couldn't live his life fighting like this (we rarely ever fought). I asked him what he wanted to do and he said about 5 times "you don't want me to answer that right now" I basically said "Tell me what you want to do b/c I am not playing games". He said it was over. I started yelling at him and the fight escalated. He hung up on me and I haven't talked to him one time since. OF COURSE. . I had to be the "psycho ex". I called, texted, emailed and he would never respond. He talked to my mother twice on the phone. The one time I picked up the phone and found out it was him I basically told him every mean thing I could possibly say and he hung up on me again. I apologized a few days later and told him that I was just frustrated and hurt and wanted some answers. He never responded. In the mean time he had furniture over his house of mine for the move, clothes, perfume, shoes and owed me $200. So I drove to his house to pick them up. He did not answer the door. I just left a letter and said that I was not there to cause drama. I was there to pick up my stuff if he could please let me know if he would send it. The next day I got an email telling me that he sent it all in the mail and do not ever call, email, text or come over again that I was a pathetic loser and I am worthless. I am devasted. But I don't know why. This is from a guy who has broken up with me every 6 months for 4 year and I can't let go. I keep going back! At least twice a week I email or text him. I think it is b/c I don't have any closure AGAIN. I texted him a few times today and said "Do you think one of these days you could talk to me like and adult and NOTHING! Basically when it comes down to it is I keep trying to talk to him and he is DONE with me again. He has done this to me 10 times so why can't I just move on already? I act the same everytime by calling and emailing and texting. What is wrong with me? I am making a fool of myself and I know it! I go out with my friend and have gone on dates, I go to a counselor, I have a great job. . . Yet I still can't let him go. Does anyone have suggestions for me?????