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ashleyyy

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Everything posted by ashleyyy

  1. ashleyyy
    Thank you once again for the reply. I agree with you on the basis for friendship part, I actually think that this we were a lot like best friends atehr than lovers in some aspects. I am not a 100% sure if a real friendship is possible at this point, but I am willing to see if it is, give it a test run, because I have not had a chnce to do so yet. Also, I know that he will understand if I need more time, so no presure there. If I notice "slipping," I will talk to him and stop tring to be friends too soon. I think that I will call him tonight/tomorrow and arrange for us to hang out, especially since I will have 3 hours of free time by his house on Friday while waiting on a friend (it's pretty far from where I live). Any advice on the best things to do? We have many common interests so I will choose something, but wanted to get some input just in case. Thank you!
  2. ashleyyy
    Thanks for the post friscodj! We have known each other for 8 years, weren't very close before (friends, but didn't know how much we had in common), started dating in September. At the end of Dec., he told me that he isn't feeling the "chemistry" between us and that this isn't working as a relationship. As for the depth, it didn't get too involved, it was short, but meant a lot to me. We really got alog well, had fun, bonded, found out how much we have in common, got very comfortable etc. As for your question about him analyzing etc....I don't think he thinks about that at all, doesn't analyze like I did this one things he said. Thank you for pointing that out to me, I thought that I was doing better at not dissecting this, since this is the first thing I have really dissected, but I need to stop that. Also, he has made steps to hang out before, I had to turn down, so I think that maybe it's my turn now? If I saw him happy with someone else, I would smile, and hope that I find that eventually as well. I can't make him love me, tried that one other time, failed, and learned. Hope this kind of cleared up the situation. Thank you for the help!!
  3. ashleyyy
    The man I was with broke up with me in the end of December. We are on good terms, ended things in a nice way. We have talked a couple of times on the phone since and I have seen him once. The last time we talked was about 3 weeks ago (he called to ask me about some things he knew I had that day), it was a nice, friendly conversation. At the end, he had to go, and when we were saying bye, he said: "Bye, until I hear from you." His tone of voice was nice... So, do you think that it's ok for me to call, or do you think I should leave him alone? I would really like to talk to him as friends, but don't want to seem like I am clingy after the break up. Also, I would like to meet with him to talk/hang out, but I'm afraid of how he might take that. Any advice would be helpful. Thak you.
  4. ashleyyy
    Do you prefer to be kissing during sex in a position that allows it, or would you rather just focus on the sex itself? I find it very sweet when the two are combined and I loooove kissing after haing sex, but would just like the know what most people think, especially men. The man I am with likes it, so I can't complain, but there is one thing that bothers me a little. Sometimes after sex, he will not want to kiss me...is that just a sign he might be worn out? Or is it a deeper issue? Thanks for answering!
  5. ashleyyy
    Thanks for the replies! What do people think of the first time holding hands, after a lot of physical contact has occurred? Is it a sign of caring, or not?
  6. ashleyyy
    I was going to suggest flowers...maybe consider that? Good luck by the way! I'm sure you'll do just fine!!
  7. ashleyyy
    I don't know if this it too "weird", but I think that maybe some home made dessert would be a good idea, that is if yoyu're meeting them during dinner.
  8. ashleyyy
    She's my German friend. She's a psychology major, with a concentration in biopsych. Too bad it's not in the US, I would so take it!
  9. ashleyyy
    Hey! My friend is doing a research project on affection for a human sexuality class and talking to her has made me think about this issue and I have a question. Which do you think shows greater committment/caring/liking/love? If a man holds his hand on your waist when walking side by side or when he holds your hand?? Why do you think so? Also, does the first time holding hands/waist have a significant meaning? Thank you for the replies!
  10. ashleyyy
    Wow, this indeed is a great analogy! When I read that, I realized that this guys is renting, that he is past the " staying the night" stage. The way that he acts, alks, and cares,makes me want to make him feel like I feel when I'm in his company. Thank you for this analogy!
  11. ashleyyy
    Well, he makes me feel loved and wonderful for sure, whatever it is that we do. You are very right. I think that I just realized that this is an issue I have from the past. This is the first time that I'm feeling thes things, that I feel loved by someone other than y ex...and I guess that it's a feeling that I want to be sure of. You're right though...I analyzed out "relationship" and maybe I should just let it be, grow etc? Thank you!!
  12. ashleyyy
    Daco and Beec, thanks for the advice! I like to think that things will progress naturally as well. Would it be ok to have to talk to kind of see where he thinks this is heading, not exactl a commintment talk, bu more to see what I can expect? Or, are there actions of his I should be on the lookout for? Sorry about all these questions, but after a long failed relationship, I want to be sure that this time, it will be better for both the people involved.
  13. ashleyyy
    Hey, thanks for the reply! I think that I'll talk to him today, it's not that I would be uncomfortable talking to him about that, but that I didn't know how things usually progress, esp. in the US, baing from a different culture and never really having been dating. You have a good point about not confirming exclusivity, I need to be sure that he's working towards being exclusive, for pure emotional reasons. I had the health ones checked out before sleeping with him.
  14. ashleyyy
    Thanks for the reply. Do most people voice those thoughts, or is moving into the bf/gf stage kind of an unspoken thing? I mean, will he voice these thoughts?
  15. ashleyyy
    How do people usually go from dating/seeing each other to being bf/gf? I don't have much experience with this, so please read and help if you can. I am currently seeing a wonderful new man, funny, responsible, caring, intelligent, and sincere. We have seeing each other since September (moveis, bars, dancing, and of course just chilling at home). I've known him for a few years before this, so he's not a random person. Things are going very well, it seems like both of us are enjoying each other. We recently had sex, I lost my virginity to him last week. He was very caring and made that first time way special, plus made sure that the next times were just as nice. For me, making out and sex are very emotional, and I'm happy that I waited to lose my virginity to him, since we both feel so good together. He's told me that he too, places a lot of emotional value on sex, and it was sooo visible in his actions. I am just wondering if I should be expecting to be asked to be in a relationship, or do most people not ask that, and just let thing happen, or is there so "talk"???? I'm asking because I'm definitely falling for him, and I'm scared that if he's not planning on a relationship, I might not be able to catch myslef in time. Thanks for your help!
  16. ashleyyy
    SO, the new guy came over last night and it was perfect! We talked, ate, watched a movie, cuddled and it just felt so right! We talked about me wanting to take things slow, and he was very understanding at the end. It did take effort, and it was emotionally tough, but in the end, things are fine. Thank you all for the advice!!!
  17. ashleyyy
    Good luck with your situation! I'm sorry to hear about the dump, but it seems like you are on the right track. Keep on thinking positive and I have faith that things will turn out just fine. After a great night spent with this new guy, I can tell you that the world is full of great surprises!
  18. ashleyyy
    Thank you for the point of view of a man! I'm happy to say that I said something of that extent, and it turned out well. It took a long talk, some emotional drama, but he understood and is looking forward to our future! I made it clear that he's not a rebound, and he seemed very relieved.
  19. ashleyyy
  20. ashleyyy
    I've known him for a long time, but he wasn't a very close friend. I can keep things light, but I know that if there is a huge physical attraction, I would like to take things slower at the beginning. So, in a way I would like to get into relationship talk, just to make sure he's ok with that.
  21. ashleyyy
    Thank you! I will do just that. I am excited for tonight and your post made that much more confident. Anyone else have input?
  22. ashleyyy
    Hey! Please post your thoughts, I only have a few hrs. to figure this out. THANK YOU! I really liked this one guy for 7 years, and we dated for 2 of those 7 (2 blocks of 1 year). Most recently at the end of July. He ended our relationship at that time, and I have not heard from him ever since. I tried to contact him at first, but now I don't see the point. This time, I know that it's all over and I am feeling like I'm pretty well recovering. I know that I will love again. So...here's the problem. There is a guy I like, who is great on so many levels. I've known him for like 8 years, and we have always been friends. I love the hours we spend together, just so comfortable etc...He is coming over to see me soon, and I don't know what to do. Should I tell him that I am not a 100% read to be with him yet? I feel like it's only fair to be all healed up from the past relationship. I am almost there, but I want him to know that I want to take things slowly, even thought deep inside, I really like him. God, I hate this! I want to love and be loved, but a part of me is scared, scared that i'm not ready. What should I do so that I don't scare him away????????????
  23. ashleyyy
    Hey Juliana, thank you for the insight! I think that I migh call him later on this week. I agree, I will know. Also, I will know how to deal with the situation, and possibly how to approach him if we are never together, since we will be seeing each other randomly for sure. What do others think? Call or just let it die? Also, do you think I mght have put too much pressure on him by telling him how much I care about him etc?
  24. ashleyyy
    Rose, Thank you for the reply! I think that what you said about him losing interest is what I'm most scared of, but it's good to hear it, I need it to move on and teahc myself to love someone else. There is one thing that is making this more difficult than it should be. I felt like he was making all the stps to get back together, like he was initiaiting it all. Also, he has talked to 2 of my close friends about us and it seemed like he was so hapy about me giving it another go. I wish I knew why this stopped!?!?
  25. ashleyyy
    I have known my ex for 13 years. We dated 3 years ago for 7 months, broke up, stayed on good terms and were "getting back together" recently. Also, the dating was long distance (8 hours). The first time we broke up was because I wanted the relationship to continue to grow, and he wasn't into the long distance enough. We stayed friends and things were ok. I was abroad all of last year for work, and we kept in limited touch. When we both were home for the summer, we hang out, it felt like getting back was something that we were working on. We were taking it slowly. Also, when we broke up it was with a sense of hope that we will give it another chance in the future. Well, I thought that this summer was the chance, but I'm scared that he might be enjoying having me here when he comes back for weekends, but the long diatnce issue is still not someting he wants. I'm writing, because I am very scared that our very long story together might end in a very lame way, with us just not contacting each other. Ever since he left his home after summer, contact has stopped. He has not replied to an email I sent, even after telling me he will and we need to talk. What do you think? Should I contact him gain, just to get closure? Or should I just let this die, not knowing why?? THANK YOU for your help!
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