kitkat21

wow, it sounds like a lot of confusing things went on in the time you were/weren't together. The way you tell it, it seems that he may have afew issues ( girls needing to innitiate, be on top, etc) and the fact that he has a girlfriend now, bt still wants to be physically active with you, o me, sounds like he wants to use you. If he cared about you, he wouldn't be seeing other people, and he woul'dnt anly talk to you about, and ask for sexual favors. I'll post more later if I can-if Iwere you, be strong, and avoid the temptation to let him use you-he knows you care about him, and he'll try and use that to his advantage.

This is yet another update from the last 3 that I posted. Last night, as I said, i called, and he said that he would be at my house between 10-11. I waited, and waited, ...and waited. He never showed up. I went to bed after tossing and turning, and woke up 3 or 4 times during the night and started crying, and almost was sick to my stomache. This morning, I called his mom and tol her what had transpired the past few days between her son and I. She said he wasn't at home (it was 6 am!!!) and she'd drop by my house and give me 20.00 dollars. After I called, he came home at 6:20( he's supposed to be at his job at 6:30). This evening I came home to find a message saying he called around 5:30, but didn't leave a message. I called his mom, and said thank you for bringing the money over this morning. She was kind of teary sounding. She said she had told him when he got home from work at 3 that he should call and apologize(which would explain the phone call). I told her that I didn't want to talk to him really, because it wasn't like he was sincere about it. His dad blew up at him about jepordizing his job. His mom said he went out to take a walk by himself. If anything, he went out to smoke pot, or smoke cigarettes and get away from his parents. I highly doubt he's contemplating what he did. Perhaps he's thinking about moving in with the other girl (and at this point, there isn't a show in my mind that he slept with her repeatedly this past weekend-why would he stay so late otherwise?) I was so upset today that I scheduled a session with the counselors on campus. I went and told her a synopsis of what's happened and cried a lot. I don't want to call him back, becasue I think that would make it look like I care. If anything, I should let him keep calling , but not return them, right? What should I do from now on? I keep hyperventilating when I think of him sleeping with her, or doing anything. . .I don't want to hear he's fallen in love with her, and that he doesn't want or need me anymore. I have less than 2 weeks left of school, and I need to get projects done. On top of all of this-my friend ( and his) is having a graduation party this friday. I want to go, but I don't know how I'm going to react if he's there, and how I can possibly get through that not looking like the bafoon of his joke. . .

this is yet another upsate from " din't come over, sad excuse" and the first one " just something to keep him busy". I'm sorry to have to write again, but I don't have anyone else I can talk to about this. He was supposed to be here at 6pm, I went to the school to do some work until 5:30, then I was going to come back so I'd be here when he got here. I imed my roommate why at the computer lab, and she tells me he called around 3, but didn't leave a message, just said he'd call back. I run home, and call his friends room up at the college. Another guy that lives there answers and says they went to go see X-Men about half an hour ago. Let me remark at this time that he and I went to see it opening night, which was this Friday. I assume he went to the 4 showing. It's over 2 hrs long, which means he wouldn't get back here on time at all. I'm so furious at him right now, it's beyond belief. Even if he didn't want to be involved with me, he had made a promise and he knew I was depending on him. Even if he wanted to stay friends with me, theres no reason for what he did. On top of that, I asked the boy who all went, and he said that (names have been changed just in case) tom, sarah, "my guy" and becca went to the movies. It was a relief to here that the "other girl" wasn't among them, but then I read beccas away message that said she was studying for exams,...which means i bet the other girl went instead, which would have made it like a double date (funny thing, tom and sarah are involved in the same situation as me and "my guy" are). So-it's almost 6:30, and the movie got done around 6. Do I call him and tell him off, or do I wait to see if he calls me? What do I do? I want to confront him face to face, but I doubt he will give me that sort of satisfaction. And to top it off, he owes me money, which I need back (I've misplaced my card, so I can't withdrawl any money) tonight! Do I call and say"drop of the money on your way home" or what? I'm really frantic and I'd really appreciate some advice!

This is an update of the post " something to keep him busy" , Well, last night came and went. He was supposed to be at my house at 1AM. Around 1:30, I called the college, to his friends room. He was still there, and asleep on the couch. They woke him up, and he acted if nothing was the matter. He said he had been wandering around and lost track of time. I said it wouldv'e been nice if he called, and he said he forgot. I said that's kind of inconciderate, and he said"well thats me for you. next time I'll remember to call" Well, im not going to give him another chance to blow me off. So, he said i should go to bed, he'd taken 5 asprin because the pollen is just as bad down there as it is up here. I could hear at least 1 girl talking in the backround to his friend. i asked how he could sleep with all that noise, and he said he's passed out. He said he'd come home in the morning, and then call me and we'd go take the photographs i needed ( pastures around my school, I don't have a car). It's almost 11, and I can bet you he's not even awake yet. I have such a knot of, I think hate in my stomache. Do I call him at the mount (and make a fool of myself perhaps by doing so) or do I sit around and wait until 4pm when he's still not back? I needed these pictures in the daylight, and not the setting sun either. I know I shouldn't have, but last night I said I loved him, and he said he loved me. It was a stupid thing to do. I think I do it to somehow confirm I still have him somehow, eventhough I'm sure he just said it. God, I just wanted to be able to talk to him last night. Now, I just want to punch him where it counts. How can I hate and yet love someone at the same time?

where do begin. my boyfriend and I broke up about 3 months ago. since then, we eventually started hanging out again, spending time together, talking on the phone, and sleeping together. Yet-he didn't want to go out with me because he was a " bad boyfirend". In one way, this is true. We've been on and off for about 5 years now. Yet, I also see it as a cop-out, that he can do whatever he wants. Yesterday, he went to go visit his old college, where he has many friends. One of them is a girl whom he's made out with at least twice, one time being since we broke up. I asked him last night to "try n not make out with anyone" he said he'd try. This went on until I was quite upset. He told me he loved me, and cared about me, but if i were to makeout with someoen else, that he'd be ok with it. His opinion is that I'm bound to find someone else, and then forget about him. I asked if he felt the same towards me, and he replied yes. He went on to say that he didn't want to go back out with me because he'd have severe feeling of hate towards me. This astounded me, I'd felt hate for him before to, but it was due to his actions towards me. I said i didn't want to be a "f*ck buddy" anymore(if thats what I was ) and he reliped, "well we won't f*ck anymore". He said I'd obviously become attached, emotional, and confused, and that I wouldnt want to have sex with him anymore since I know he doesn't ever want to date me again, so it'd be like "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free" . I felt like I was going to implode. I said I hoped he had a good trip, and he said "i love you" and that he'd come over tonight after he came back from the college, and sleep over. The issue if we are to sleep together anymore was left until today, he wouldn';t say yes or no. We kissed, and he left. I called his house today, and his mother said he'd left at 7am, and that he'd be back at 11, I mentioned that he said he was possibly staying over at my house, and she said he hadn't mentioned it to her. I believe that he will either not come home tonight, call me and tell me he slept with the girl, or he'll go home, and possibly not call me, or call me and tell me he's through with me. I'm sorry this is so long, I haven't had anyone to talk to about this, and I feel worse that depressed, I feel empty and alone, helpless and sick to my stomache. I know I have a problem, I read the love addiction artclies, but I don't know what to do right now-I love him so much, and to think of him not in my life seems impossible. I'd hoped that he'd eventually want to go back out with me, but now I see I'm just something to keep him busy . Why does he say he loves me?? Please, any feedback would be more than appreciated.