Magic_Monkey

I know it's a bit of a cliche but does anyone think opposites do attract and can be good? I can be a bit rough around the edges, I'm pretty open minded, I like to go out, like a drink etc. I've a bit of a reputation as a bit of a "hellraiser" and a party animal. The last girl I went out with was very similar to myself. This didn't work out and she's now got a new bloke. To me he seems quite boring (I guess I'm biased a bit cos I do still like the girl) but he's pretty much the opposite of me and I think she's seeing him to kind of settle down a bit (she is 5 years older than me too and the guys her age). There's this girl at work who I'd say I'm friends with. We talk when we see each other and go out in a group. She's pretty much the opposite of myself, she's very religious, she's had quite a sheltered upbringing, can be quite naive and she's quite straight-laced. Recently I've started being very attracted to her. I don't really know why. Maybe I subconsiously want someone to calm me down, or maybe I want to try and make her a bit more like me. I'm not sure. Anyway, I've no reason to believe that she even likes me that way (as I say we do talk and she invited me to her birthday party so she does like me at least as a friend). We're going out in a big group on Friday so I may try and say something to her then, I'm not sure, I'm not really sure how to go about it either. That's not really important though, I was really just wondering what peoples takes on the opposites attract thing was?

Yeah, curves are good. Too skinny isn't good for me neither is fat but a nice in-between is what I like. At the end of the day though it's more about what the girl is like as a person. If I met a girl I really liked but she was really skinny I wouldn't turn her down because of it.

Yeah, if you're just aquaintances I'd assume she maybe liked me. I'd never say no though. I'm always up for any sort of going out, if you don't click like that or he doesn't like you in that way then you'll have made a friend at least. He talks to you sometimes already so he must think you're at least OK to have as a friend. I'd say go for it. I'd be happy if someone just did that to me.

You may be getting me wrong here. I only said I'd had a couple of one night stands, none for a couple of years. I don't really go to the "meat market" type places you describe. The clubs I go to are generally "indie" clubs where the people are generally all like minded and go mainly for the music as opposed to just pull. I actually managed to get a girls number on Saturday. Unfortunately it was a special day and I ended up very drunk and can't actually remember talking to her so I don't actually know what I did to get it.

Cheers for the replies. At least I know some other people feel the same. Hopefully something will come up soon. My mates getting married in a few months and I'd love to be able to take someone to the wedding.

OK, I'm 24 and I've never had a really serious relationship. I've not got a great deal of experience with girls, I've had a couple of drunken one night stands and a few kisses in clubs and stuff but girls just don't seem to like me. I was kind of OK with this but at the end of last year I went out with a girl for a few weeks, she finished it though and now has someone else. Since then I've just been really down about being single all the time. I just want a nice girl to like me and to have a proper relationship. Everyone else seems to so why can't I? It's OK when I'm out at night or with mates doing stuff cos I don't think about it but when I'm on my own or just sat at work I'm always thinking about it. I don't get why girls don't fancy me. I'm not very good looking and can be shy but when I'm out I'm fairly outgoing and confident. My friends tell me I'm funny, I'm pretty intelligent, I often get good comments on my clothes, I've kind of got my own style I don't just follow the crowd (I've sometimes been told I look like I should be in a band. And girls like guys in bands right? The ugly rock star always gets the girls ). I've got female friends, last week I went out with friends from work and there was me and 5 women, so I can talk to girls and get on with them. They always seem to just see me as a friend though. I never get approached in pubs and clubs either. The only thing I can put it down to is that I'm not good looking and that's the first impression girls get. What can I do to attract more girls? Cheers.

I know you're shy, but you could always ask him. I know that's easier said than done, I'm pretty shy so I know but I'd absolutely love it if a girl asked me out instead of the other way round. Why do girls feel they have to do something to make a bloke ask them out rather than just do the asking themselves?

I like older women too. Last year I had a brief thing with a woman who's nearly 30. I'd had people telling me for ages that she liked me but I thought why would she be into me? We went out a few times but I feel I left it a bit late cos she met someone older than her and hooked up with him. We did have a lot of fun when we went out though and I think if I'd made my move earlier we could have given it a go. Now I realise I shouldn't have really thought about the age thing at first and just gone for it. Annoying as I still really like her. I've also got quite a few friends that are older than myself. I wouldn't have a second thought about dating someone older now. On the flip side. A couple of years ago I was at a friends party and his niece was there. I got talking to her and we got on well. She's witty, intelligent, has the same taste in music as myself (liked a good mix of older and newer bands) and I was beginning to like her. After talking for ages I discovered she was only 14. I genuinely thought she was about 18, she looks older and seemed very mature. I obviously at that point told myself I couldn't like her in that way. She's 16 now and I see her every now and then as I'm friends with her Uncle and I still get on with her. Even though 16's OK in UK I still find it a bit dodgy and won't pursue her even though she still seems to like me.

Not sure if this is really in the right forum so sorry if it isn't. A bit ago I had a brief thing with a woman from work (I moaned about it here Anyway, I'm not 100% sure when she started seeing this bloke but I kind of get the impression she stopped things with me cos she liked him better. It seems now ever since she's been with this new bloke she seems unhappy and miserable all the time. He does live about an hours drive away but I think they see each other a couple of times a week. She's stopped coming out when we go out as a group. Last Friday the usual group of us went out and she stayed at home and got drunk on her own. A mutual friend is having a birthday party tomorrow and she's pulled out of that too, just saying she doesn't feel like it. Again, she's just staying at home. A couple of her friends have said she's been really strange and moody with them too and they're starting to lose patience with her. I do still like her so I don't like seeing her like this. She probably could have treated me better but I'm not mad at her and I would give her another chance if she wanted. The thing is when I see her at work or at lunch and we talk we always get on fine and I can always get her smiling and laughing. It annoys me a bit cos I seem to be able to make her happy yet she's with this bloke who seems to make her miserable. I don't get it. I want to try and talk to her about it but I don't know how to go about it as I don't want to bring it up at work and she seems to have stopped coming out with anyone.

4:30am The only time I ever see that time is during a night out. I can't imagine ever starting work then. So let me get this straight, you finish at 8 on Thursday after a 6 hour shift, then 8 hours later you're starting work again? Then only 2 hours off and another 5 hours? Surely there's some kind of law against that. When do you sleep?

I work in education (not a teacher) but I'm generally 8:30-5:00 three days a week then 8:30-3:30 the other two days. There's a little bit of potential for promotion in what I do but I'm a firm subscriber to the "Work to live, not live to work" school of thought. I go out a lot, have fun and I've got a good car. As long as I can live my life how I want I'm not going to get obsessed with trying to get promoted or trying to get a better career. At the moment I'm working in a job that's related to the degree I have but I've recently been feeling that when I do decide to do something about changing my job I might just go off in a completely different direction. My friend and I always talk about if we can get the money one day we are going to attempt to set up a nightclub! Maybe just a pipe-dream and it'd be a risk but if we both decide and put our minds to it you never know. I guess it all depends on how old you are, what's going on in your life, how much you want promotion and how much you actually enjoy what you're doing. I know people who are that obsessed with getting promotion and money they spend incredible ammounts of time at work and it's destroying their social life. I end up thinking, "OK, so they'll get promotion and lots of money but what are they actually going to do with it? They've no one to share it with and they don't really have a life outside work". Then I know someone who works behind the bar in my local pub on a rubbish wage but he's always happy and loves his life.

It's not really a poem as such. More a spoken word song, if you know what I mean. Sort of like Wickerman by Pulp (if anyone knows that, or Pulp have done quite a few spoken word tracks.). Erm, don't really know why I'm posting this. There's some good stuff on here and this isn't really like any of the others but what the hell. It happened a while ago but I remember every bit. Waking up, the slight crack in the ceiling above your bed. The missing handle on the wardrobe door by the window. The chimes of the ice-cream van passing. "Who wants ice-cream in November?" I thought, "maybe he sells drugs too". I rolled over, saw the outline of your back, and then, the night before was there, replaying in my mind. Sitting in your front room I told you you were beautiful, you called me crazy in the head, but you are, you're beautiful, really * * * *ing beautiful. I kissed you and the way you kissed me back I knew, I knew that everything I'd wanted since I first met you was about to happen. You took my hand in yours and the third stair creaked as you led me to your room. At that moment it was like a train speeding towards another on the same track. My life building up to this one moment, then, Bang!....... I saw you with him the other day. You looked happy, and I was kinda glad you were happy. He's a pretty boy though and I think to him you're just another girl. To me you were special as hell. If I'd known that kiss, on your doorstep that next morning, you in your dressing gown, me in last nights clothes, if I 'd have known that was our last, I'd have made it last forever. But maybe it wasn't all hearts and flowers, maybe it was something dirty, but I thought it felt right and you seemed like you did too. I hope he tells you that you're beautiful. I hope he tells you that many times that you realise it's you that's crazy for not knowing. One day I might meet someone who feels for me what I feel for you. When I do I'll try, and hopefully their face will replace yours in my mind. 'til then I'm waiting, with you inside my head, not all the time, a prescription from the ice cream man blanks you out, or a few pints down the local with the boys. But you always come back though, and I'm always waiting, waiting for you to realise, maybe we could have something. I've been waiting, I still am, but I can't wait forever. Oh no, I won't wait forever. Cheers.

Yeah, that kind of came out wrong. I didn't mean it was a bad thing, I know that's good too. I would have just slept on the couch but he's only just moved in and the cheapskate only has two dining chairs and an armchair! Someone had already passed out in that. He couldn't handle the pace like Magic_Monkey! Funny you should mention makovers I actually asked another girl the other week if I could borrow her hair straighteners. I've a strange, morbid fascination with wanting to know what they'd do to my hair.

Just wondering what people thought about this. If a girl is prepared to let you just sleep with her has she automatically put you in the just friends category and is just showing that she trusts you or could she be hinting that she wouldn't mind something else to happen? The other week a girl that I actually hardly really know was going to let me share her bed. We were at a mates house after a night out and she was going to have the spare room. The owner of the house had gone to bed and we'd been talking and it had got late and I really couldn't be bothered to walk home even though it was only just down the road. I half jokingly said "can I sleep in with you?" and she said yes. Neither of us had been to the house before though and when we went upstairs it was only a single bed so I ended up walking home anyway. As I say we don't actually know each other that well, in fact that night out was probably the most we'd ever spoke but I didn't really think anything of it until I mentioned it to my mate and he said he thought it was a good sign. I personally thought it was the opposite, that she just saw me as a friend and trusted me. The same way as she'd probably sleep with another girl. Just wondering what people thought in general, not neccessarily this particular scenario as I don't really know her so can't really say if she likes me or not (although I'm going to her birthday party next week so will try to get to know her better then).

I agree, from now on I'm going to act as soon as I can. The worst I've experienced is acting too late. I was being told for months that a girl liked me and it took me months to ask her out. We went out a few times but the timing was all wrong and it didn't work out. Had I asked her right at the beginning I think things could have been really different. That's the most annoying thing knowing she liked/likes me but partly cos I took so long it's not likely to be.

Cheers for the reply. The work thing isn't a problem cos we very rarely see each other at work. I am a bit annoyed that she didn't really explain herself but I would give her a chance. I will just leave her alone like you say and see what happens. Going to have to control myself when we're at that party though cos I know I'm going to have a few drinks. It's just feels like life's purposefully messing with my head. I don't get many girls and it seems whenever I get a chance it gets snatched away.

Personally I think you've just got to be straight with him. Do you like him as a friend? If so tell him you like him as a friend but not in any other way. If not say you don't think it'd work out between you and say straight you don't want to see him again. Sure, it might hurt him but it's better than stringing him along. When you say you're busy he may have slight suspicions that you're just putting him off but if he likes you he'll convince himself that you really are busy and he'll be clinging on to the hope that the next time he asks you you'll say yes.

This woman at work apparently liked me for months but we never really saw each other at work that much so didn't really speak much. We saw more of each other through mutual friends, we got on well and I eventually asked her out. We went out on a couple of dates and had fun both times. She told me she liked me and wanted to get to know me better and she sent me a text after thanking me for a good night. The next time we went out was as a group and I ended up spending the night with her at her house. We didn't go the whole way though, no actual sex. Everything was good the next morning, the first thing she did was start kissing me again and we spent most of the morning just messing around. After that I went away for a weekend, she was off work ill for a few days and then she went away for the next weekend so we didn't see each other outside work for a couple of weeks. She then suddenly sends me a text saying she doesn't want things to get complicated. She's not texted or phoned me since. When I see her at work it's like nothing's happened, she talks and laughs at my jokes and stuff. Since we first went out I've known that she's not really happy at work and would really like to move away, back to where she went to uni. Didn't think this was too much of a problem as it could take ages for her to find a job there. I found out the other day though, from a mutual friend that she's got a bloke in the place she's wanting to go to. I think it could be someone she's known for ages as a friend and he's just told her he likes her. The whole thing's really annoyed me. I don't get that many girls, she's six years older than me and absolutley gorgeous so when I thought she liked me I was so happy. Now I'm wondering if she ever did like me in the first place or what I actually did wrong to put her off. We've a party coming up that I think we'll both be at so is it a good idea for me to ask her what went wrong and why wasn't she honest? I do still like her but I understand she's found somebody she likes better and I guess I hope she's happy cos she has had a rough deal in the past (with exes and stuff) and deserves some happiness. I think we can still be friends (like I say we have a laugh when we see each other) but I don't want to end up being friends with her for the wrong reasons (ie hoping that if it does go wrong with who she's seeing that she'll turn to me). Not really sure why I've posted this, other than maybe just to get it off my chest so thanks to anyone who reads it.

I don't think there's anything wrong with going out and getting drunk. I do it most weekends. I notice most of you are from the US, I'm from England and I think it might be a bigger thing over here. I work all week and then at the weekend I just like to forget about everything and just go out and have fun and basically I have more fun when I've had a few drinks than I do if I go out and stay sober. Generally cos I talk to more people, dance more and on the whole do things that I may not do when sober. There's also a part of me that strangely, kind of likes it to lose control. I get a certain buzz from just kind of being on the edge. I don't drink during the week though and enjoy doing many other things with various friends so I don't see the problem with having a few at the weekend. In fact I'm just off out shortly with a few mates for a few beers.

I agree, I always look people in the eye. Don't like it when people don't. A woman at my work never looks people in the eye. She talks to you staring at your chest or something. First few times I got paranoid that I'd spilt my dinner down my shirt or something! I also read that the eyebrow thing is a sign of interest but I then realised that I actually do it all the time to everyone. I thought, anyone else who's heard this is going to be thinking I like them! Maybe I'm just an eyebrowy person. I guess the only way to really find out is to talk.