MiaLeah

I know I don't want to give the baby up for adoption. If it was solely up to me, I would keep it. The thing is, I'm not 100% sure I want to keep it either. I feel the same thing applies for that as well. This is all I think about. I mean, what if I'm not ready and I won't give this child as good a life as it could have? Oh, and I just couldn't do an open adoption. I wouldn't want contact with the child, being able to see him or her, knowing they were calling somebody else their mother.

It could be selfish. I have the means to take care of it, but there are so many couples who want a child so badly and would probably be able to take care of it better.

Well, the adoption issue is still being debated. My parents say that it's ok if I want to keep the baby, but they'd like me to give it up for adoption. My situation is a little complicated. I have a spot at a school that's nowheer near my home and my parents really want me to go (not b/c it's far away, but b/c it's a good college). They don't think I will be able to move that far away, be by myself, raise a child, and go to school. I doubt I could either. My boyfriend is 33 and has a really great job with a magazine located here, but he's offered to move with me if I really want him to. He doesn't trust me to be able to take care of a child either. I don't want him to have to quit his job b/c he's too successful and worked too hard for it. I know he should take responsibility, but I don't think that means he should have to give up that much of himself. I could always go to a school around here, my parents made me apply against my will. I want to keep the baby even though I'm terrified of raising it. I have to decide asap though. It's just, I can't imagine giving my baby that I carried for 9 months away to somebody. Then, as you mentioned, your friend made a selfless decision when she gave her child up for adoption. I wonder if by keeping my baby I'm being selfish.

I'm in the same situation. Have you just found out recently? I've been through what you're going through right now so if you want to talk, just pm me.

I'm not sure what I'm having yet. We want to keep is a surprise, but latley some complications have been happening, so we'll probably end up finding out soon.

I'll tell you a bit about it. For starters, I'm dating a 33 yr old guy. My parents weren't happy at first, but he's not some creep or anything. He's a friend of my older brother's and I've always kind of hung out with his friends and with older people in general. Anyway, I promised them I wouldn't have sex with him. When they asked, I told them no. I know I should have felt bad about lying to them in the first place, but now that they know I was lying, I feel as if they don't trust me at all and as if they're always looking down on me. We're pretty wealthy and my parents are friends with a lot of wealthy people in the area. I'm seen as this black mark, even though everyone else's children aren't angels. I had school plans to study in England and scholarships and then this happened and ruined it. The worst part about that is that my parents were more concerned about how they would tell everyone I was no longer going away to college and all that...they didn't really take time to support me at all. It's changed now, but I still havn't forgotten about the way they acted towards me for a good three weeks or so. I could really care less about what the people at school think about me b/c I wasn't friends with many of them anyway. I was considered gifted by my teachers though and once I had to have a meeting with the whole administration, they treated me as if all the worth and potential I ad was basically worthless now. I just think of teen parents as something else, not me. I know that's stupid, but I do. I fear others see me just as another irresponsible teen. Finally, I also feel bad that my boyfriend has to deal with this b/c he's telling me I shouldn't stay here for school and that I should do what I want, regardless of the baby. He's offered to go with me, but I don't want to make him leave everything he has here. He's got a job at a magazine here and it's not like he could just move and find a job of the same level. I know he should have to take responsibility too, but I'd feel so bad making him give up everything. I honestly fear I will turn out like your friend's mom. I can't even get my head around the fact that I'll actually have a child to take care of, let alone how I will act towards it. I'm not even good with children! I didn't even want kids! And Young1, I said I was sorry if you weren't making it up. Just search around for yourself on some forums out there and you'll see what I mean though. Congrats on accepting it so easily. I've accepted it, I'm just not pretending like perfectly fine with me, b/c it isn't.

I doubt it has any correlation

I know I just said I don't understand young girls who want babies, but I do understand the feeling of being wanted. I've always been spoiled rotten with attention, looked up to, needed by some. I've never really felt the need to be wanted in that way really, but I've heard of tons of girls who simply want to feel wanted. Don't be jealous of any of us, though. You should go out and make the best life for YOURSELF that you can. It;s unfair and selfish to want a child just for yourself to feel needed. Wait until you can provide a great life for that child.

ShySoul- I'm not saying that it's something everyone should be ahsamed about. I'm admitting that I am. What I really want to say may be offensive or rude to some, so I can't really say it here. I, being ashamed of it, just can't understand how some could be so elated. My feelings about it have gotten a bit better lately. I still hate going places and people looking at me b/c I fear what they're thinking about me. I normally don't care what people think in regards to other things, but this is totally different. I don't want to be seen as a stupid teen who got pregnant and screwed up her life. It's a selfish sort of feeling, really. I couldn't even face the doctor until I was 2.5 months along. I had enough credits to graduate, so my school suggested a take the option to graduate earlier in January. That was the worst experience, sitting in there with all my teachers staring at me as I told them I was pregnant. I come from a wealthy family as well, so I know my parents are ashamed.

It can be tough at first, but good luck.

I'm 17, nearly 18 and I'm dating a 33 yr old guy. We've been dating for about a year. People who don't know us and hear about our age difference jump to conclusions as is expected. He's actually pretty young for his age, while I'm mature for mine. We have the same interests and such and get along really well, as if there is no difference at all. My parents weren't really happy about it at first, as I imagine the parents of this girl won't be. If you really like her enough, it'll be worth the risk of that though. When I tell people at school that I have a 33 yr old boyfriend, I do get some nasty comments and some rude things have been said about me. My boyfriend kind of gets teased about it since I can't even get into clubs or anything. We went to an 18 and over concert once and I couldn't get in so we had to leave. Certain things like that are annoying, but those things are just trivial.

I'm 17, almost 18, and my boyfriend is 33. Before you start thinking he's some creep or anything, as most people who don't know either of us and hear about the large age gap think, we're really compatible. I've always been mature for my age and associated with my older brother's (who is 12 yrs older than me) friends. He's young for his age and I'm mature compared to the majority of people my age. There isn't a big rift in the things we're interested in or anything. We like the same music and go to concerts all the time, we're both really into literature, and have a strange obsession with foreign films. I'd never met anyone that I got along with and had such a good time with before, so age really doesn't mean much to either of us. Granted, I lied about my age for the first 3 months that I knew him, which wasn't a good thing. Anyway, I think you shouldn't worry about an age gap as long as you're comfortable with it. It isn't for everybody, but I think it's good for a lot of people.

My boyfriend is 33 and I'm turning 18 in two months. I realize that's a huge age gap, but he's young for his age and I'm a bit more mature for mine. I'm not saying a 16 yr age gap is recommended, but it just goes to show that it really depends on the individuals. My parents were kind of shocked when I told them, but they understand. You say this girl is from a certain culture where she probably hasn't dated before and where the age gap might cause more conflicts. I still say that you should go for it; that is, as long as you know you find her attractive and worth it, rather than simply thinking you're attracted to her as you said in your opening post.

I'm 17, soon to be 18, and I found out that I was pregnant back in October. I wasn't happy at all. I wanted to find people who had been in the same experience, but all I could find was forums consisting of a bunch of 15-16 yr olds who who so excited about their pregnancies and showing off pictues, etc. I don't understand why these people act as if it's no big deal. I know it's a life and that's a good thing, but these girls act as if nothing's wrong about the situation. I'm ashamed to be 17 and pregnant. These girls flaunt it proudly. I don't understand and I doubt I ever will. Half of them are liars though. Sorry, Young, but your story is a bit hard to believe at the end. I mean, you're pregnant, your best friend is pregnant and the father of both just so happens to be your ex boyfriend. I know it's possible, but I've heard so many people say the same story that I don't know what to believe. I don't mean to be rude though. If you want somebody to talk to who is in a similar situation, you can pm me anytime; I'd really like to talk to you. I'm due in May too btw.

I'm not taking any prenatal pills. How can I not be ashamed? I have to go to school like this and everywhere I go people will see me and think things. They know I'm dating a 33 yr old, but I promised them I wouldn't have sex with him any time soon. I'm sure I'm already showing a bit...I'm pretty thin so it appears to be a bit more apparent. I'm trying to wait as long as possible to tell people. I feel once they know, I'll be forced to go to the doctor.

No, I can't bring myself to tell him.

Yeah, I know..but I can't tell them..I can't admit it to anyone I know. I just don't know how.

I can't really hide it at all...I don't know if it's just me, but I can already kind of tell. I'm a coward though and can't admit it to anyone. I'm just kind of waiting for them to find out. Once they find out, I'll be forced to go to the doctor.

I know I need to tell them, but I just can't. I'm actually dating the 33 yr old, but I wasn't supposed to be having sex with him. I want to keep the child I suppose. I'm just deathly afraid of going to the doctor and such...I havn't been yet. I can't even really tell my friends about it either.

I found out that I'm pregnant about 1.5 months ago. I think I'm 2.5 months or more along. I've not told anyone yet b/c I just don't know what to do. A big problem is that I'm 17, but the father is 33. I'm not looking for anyone to tell me what to do, but I'd just like some advice or input or somebody to talk to. Thanks.