teddyboy

Well,I haven't put too much emphasis because she says sh'es leaving the country to be with her husband this coming 12th of december. But analyzing what she tells my cousin,I think she's using the supposed trip to trap him into going to her house earlier.Her husband is Colombian and was illegal in the country so he had to leave.She says her husband is a saint. HMMMMMMMMMM.lol He says he wants to go visit her because he feels sorry for her,her letting him know how lonely she is and that she doesnt have any friends. I don't know,I've always thought shes looking for an extramarital affair and he says he isnt willing to give her one,just friendship,but I'm a man myself and I know how our emotions and instincts get the best from us.I've been trying to get my point accross but it seems it's to no avail.

He says it's only friendship but he also says she has a great body. Every night when they talk she only goes on about her traumas,how life is giving her what she deserves,etc. She feels guilty about her mother dying and her having told her she didnt love her. Among other things.Ive tried letting my cousin know that he should keep away like she's the plague but it's been to no avail.I believe him when he says they only have a friendship but I'm afraid it will evolve into something else.

Ahhh poor guy-it hurts so much to see a man go down like that.

subject cousin is getting involved with a married woman who seems to be a tramp and is shock full of emotional problems.She's using him as a male girlfriend and emotional tampon. problem insists there's no problem and they're strictly friends.But he's 27 going on 15 and I fear he's not aware of the problems that could be involved,her being married and all.True,her husband is out of the country right now but to me that makes no difference. question there any advice I can use to try and dissuade him from a relationship that can cause him so much harm?She's been inviting him to her house and other places and he claims it's just to talk(they talk every night on the phone after work,they both work in the same place). So,any advice?lol

While you're right about the trust thing,and so is darkblue about being able to repair it,a lot of people take this thing about trust too far. In some ways,what you're saying when you trust someone is that you will until that person breaks off from what you expected of him;and so many times expectations ruin relationships because you're in them trying to get something out of them instead of giving them your best. Just food for thought. 8)

Maybe because you're concentrated on losing something you cant lose? I mean,what do you mean by losing friends?Do they turn into your enemies? Because thats the only reason you can lose a friend.

True but my emphasis was on how many people want something in exchange for nothing;they want to eat in the same table with God and Beelzebub,so to speak.

Well,I don't know her,but as a man who's been out with plenty of women in my day I can assure you this seem to be a wave of women nowadays(and men too no doubt,I dont women to get mad at me here-lol),that want to have affairs without sacrificing anything. I personally have been dismayed by the amount of women who seem to welcome extramarital affairs just as long as there are no emotional expenses. Of course,it could also be that she likes you as a friend but not enough to offer her commitments.However.if you really love this woman why not try a different approach? Just let it be.Listen to Paul Mcartney. Talk to her,as a friend who will always be there for her when she needs you,independent of any conditions on her or yourself.Sometimes when a person sees that you're willing to let them free,they react by becoming more attracted to you somehow. In any case,try to maintain a healthy mental attitude about this,otherwise it can get the best out of you. Best wishes, ted.

Whatever you say will be fine. Keep in mind that for you to notice him looking at you,you must be looking at him an awful lot too. Someone's got to break the ice,and if you wrote in the forum about it,personally I think it should be you. Come on now,I know you've got the power.

Nothing.When you really love someone you leave them free to choose and free to live and experiment with other people.

1)how do you know the guy said the truth,he could be making everything up. 2)she's the only abusive one if she chooses to be with that guy 3)the letter is fine but you're only abusing youself by paying too much attention to a girl with no self-esteem who already chose what she wants. 4)best of luck and I hope you can move on to a meaningful relationship with someone who will recognize what your worth.

Well,for whatever it's worth(and I suspect not much)I did meet a gay man once who said he hated anal sex so there you go. There are all sorts of variations out there.

good point. Indeed,this has turned out to be a more complicated issue than I thought it would be.There seem to be many more variations than I thought as well. My God,why couldn't you just make life simple?

gay? how if he likes women It's not as much caring as being curious because of his denial.I dunno about the bet being cold,after all it doesnt hurt him in any way because it's a private bet.It could be unethical because its too similar to a sports bet... ,but not cold.I'm one of my cousin's best friends and thats why I dIsclosed this thread to him."No problem as long as my identity isn't disclosed" is all he said.He's quite liberal and takes very few things personally. Again,thanks for all your thoughts.

This,ladies and gentlemen,is a crazy world we live in. And I do believe that as a whole we're still learning about sexuality. 0X I sat and spoke to my cousin about this thread and he just laughed. Hence I saw the laughter as an open door and decided to probe a little more. He says that no,he doesn't like men to the point of considering himself gay;he did it with that man because he loved him very much and still does as a person,whatever the hey that means. He doesnt discount that he may have another encounter with another man;but in his words he'd never look for it. He says he has about a 20% physical attraction to men,to be bisexual in his mind is to have an equal amount of attraction to both sexes. He enjoyed the sexual experience,but he says he finds an encounter with a girl more exciting because they're more vocal. All that being said,I still think he's bi For instance,he'll come to my house on some nights and talk to a girlfriends of his for and hour and a half on the phone,but the central topics will be things like soap operas,books and the like.He weighs about 122 pounds and looks like a boy,thin voice etc. At 27 or so,he's never had a steady girlfriend either. So,either I'm imagining things or I'm right.Only life will tell....