kw1202

If you want to know why I came here it was just to get all of this off my chest. I couldn't talk to you. I'm hurt that you would even put it out there about the arrest. I told everything from my point of view. I didn't come here to make you look like the bad guy and me look like a angel, because I am not without fault. If you would have read EVERYTHING and not just picked out the bad parts you would have recongized that. You said you were there for me through thick and thin? We have been there for each other. You didn't really say anything in your post that contradicts what I said. I admitted to my faults. Have you admitted to yours? This so called "friend" in TX was not in the picture when we first started dating. If you would have read you would known that I already knew about her, I just waited for you to tell me which you never did. The day I confronted you, you already knew that I knew. You never said she's my friend you pretended like she did not exist until I flipped out. I'm not going to get into this. You said more then what really needed to be said and it's not cool at all. You succeeded in hurting me. I hope you feel great now. Thanks and you don't have to worry about me maintaining NC because you already know you had your phone disconnected again so that I wouldn't/couldn't call. Even in all this I love you and want you back. Maybe I'm the fool.

I think the question should really be what do YOU truly want? You said that he did this and he did that, but if you let him come back will you be able to handle it if it all starts all over again? Stick to what you said. If he loves you he will show you. I had to learn that the hard way. words are just that. they mean nothing without action. Don't settle for less then what you want but don't make it so high that you can't be pleased.

CC your welcome and that's exactly what I'm doing..using my head not my heart cause if I follow my heart at this stage of the breakup I'll be driving my self crazy (like I WAS). You did good by making 2 months and don't let this one little slip effect you.

Roofergirl my mother taught me a long time ago that just because you meet someone it doesn't mean the kids need to meet them. I try at all cost to avoid introducing anyone into their lives that I don't think will be around. My last relationship before this one was 10yrs and when that ended my daughter was devasted. She asked about him all the time and it made it hard for me to deal with it. Eventually everything was ok but it took a long while. I think that's why I haven't said anything yet cause I'm not ready to deal with the kids asking me questions but eventually I have to. That's why he should really discuss ALL his thoughts or fears with his girlfriend. At least then she has a say in what happens.

I have 3 kids and my boyfriend and I broke up. It has been hard because he and the kids have gotten to know each other. I still have not been able to explain to my kids that we are not together. My advice is make sure this is something that you really want, because if things don't work out we as mothers have to clean up not only the mess of ending a relationship but explaining to our kids why "he" doesn't come over anymore or why "we" are not spending time with "him". Most women with kids make it a point not to introduce everyone we meet to our kids until we know or are almost positively sure the relationship will last. I just encourage you to look at this from all angles and be sure because it's easy to get into but think of everyone it will affect when you get out. I hope things work out, and be honest with her if you have any doubts. She has a part in this too. just my 2 cents

I'm just starting my NC for the (feels like) 10th time in my breakup. The break up still hurts cause I want him back, but I think with every day I'll get stronger. You'll make it C.C., if you went this far you can go farther. Keep your head up

I came here to try to get over my boyfriend. To just figure out what happened and the support I got was good. Even though I tried and failed several times at the NC. I've finally made up my mind that it's over between him and I. Even though he did some things that I was not happy with I still love him. Over the weekend my mother got into a car accident and he was the first person I called. He called me back and just from hearing his voice I knew he called STRICTLY out of concern. Every day I have had to come to terms that I will never be with him again. It's hard, very hard. He says that he has to get himself together but I know in my heart that he will never be mine again. I know some people say why would you want him back? The reason is because even though things weren't perfect and mistakes were made overall it was a wonderful relationship. I miss that. I can't change who he is. When I committed myself to him I accepted him for who and what he was and yeah he may have fell short but still I love him. I refuse to shed another tear. I refuse to call him anymore. I refuse to feel as though I can't take this anymore, because I can. Time heals all and that's what I need is just time. Time to think about what I want and what I need. Truth be told if he wanted to come back he could, but I won't wait forever. I can't put a time limit on it and I won't. Just one day I'll wake up and decide that what we had was special and store it in that small space in my heart. He loves me I'm sure he does, but it's ok. People come into our lives for reasons that we do not always understand. I don't know exactly why he came into mine, but I'm glad I met him. There are lessons I learned in this relationship that I will carry within me (only the positive things). I just hope that he got something out of this too. Who knows? I just know that you live, you learn and life goes on. Today I finally let go. wish me luck

Your going to have to learn how to forgive. Your right you can't address it if she doesn't tell you. Maybe she has things she needs to work out within herself. I know you don't want to but take some time off from this. Easier said then done ,but like I said work on you. Your going in circles. You can only address one thing at a time you can't "fix" this if you haven't "fixed" you. Trust me on this. You can't keep beating yourself up (because whether you realize it or not you are) about this. Work on you and then maybe you can understand your relationship better.

Tiredman maybe you should get some counseling by yourself. It seems as though you need help understanding YOUR own feelings. If it's meant to be it will. It's obvious she still loves you because you guys are still talking, but you gotta get control of your own feelings and emotions first. Let go of some of those things from your past. You have to forgive either yourself or whoever has done things to you in order for you to heal. Letting go is a option especially if you want to make things better. Take care of YOU first and once that's done maybe you can work on your relationship.

I'm speaking from experience. If she has in her mind it's over then you might want to put it in your head too because if you do get back together it will always be up and down. I'm speaking this from a previous 10yr relationship. You and him were on the same page from what I'm reading and her and I were alike. Him and I tried and tried and argued and argued. Only thing that happened was I realized more and more everyday how I didn't want to be with him and would only accept him as a friend. We went through months on NC and still in the end I only wanted to be around him for comfort but the minute he started saying anything about us then we were right back where we started. Do yourself a favor and start backing away. I know that you want to be with her but you have too back off some. I know you don't want to hear that but if she is not willing to go to counseling then it's not going to work because in my opinion this is bigger then both of you. You need someone to help sort out what's going on. My ex has done everything he could to try to make things work and even though I love him I don't want to be with him. If you can, slowly start to let go and heal yourself, because if your ex feels like I do then there is nothing you can say or do to get this relationship back. Let's hope that's not the case.

Tired it is possible for someone to feel like that. It happens when a person doesn't want to deal with the feelings of what is happening. I know because I did the same thing to someone in my past. Everytime he wanted to talk about how he felt I would "shut-off" and yes I would get cold too. That was my way of trying to deal with the hurt. You said that last time you walked away. When that happened did you walk because of the a argument or because you broke up? See just like now you want her to stay and listen, maybe then she needed for you to stay and listen. She could be feeling like if she turns this on again that you could get mad and "walk away" again. Give her time don't push. Let her come to you and talk and when she does just listen. I don't know your whole story but sometimes we have to listen and not comment. Don't defend whatever she says just let her get it out in her own way. I say this because when my ex from my past did that it was so much easier for me to express how I felt without worrying about him commenting on every little thing. I hope things work out. Just be patient. good things come to those who wait and keep your head up

Ok I'll try that. I'll keep you updated. thank you

Dave I did the NC and it lasted all of about 3 days. We talked and I finally got some answers I was looking for. Did this make me feel better? no. I actually feel/felt worst. We got together and though I suggested and wanted it I know that I only did it hoping that there would be some passion there that he missed (big mistake). I made things worst for myself because now I have a new set of emotions that I'm trying to deal with. I feel like I'm the one being blamed( or allowing myself to be) and all he is saying is you did this and if you hadn't of done that. The bottom line is he let her into our world and decided not to tell me about it. I'm still hurt and I've been talking to him hoping (probably like a fool) that things might just work out, but part of me is wanting to let go. I'm going to try NC again. I have to do something. I feel like I lost apart of me(not meaning him). I can't blame him on us getting together because I allowed it to happen. I don't think he really wanted to but he did(of course he's a man). I tried to talk to him about how it made him feel and basically what he said was that "That's why I didn't want to because I knew this would happen" (I assume me not being able to separate the two) I can't lie I do want to be back with him but not at this price. I want to really talk to him about it but I feel like he will shut down. I'm thinking of doing the no no and writing another letter (because I feel that is the only way I can get his full attention). I want all or nothing and I'm at the point where I rather have nothing then to put my feelings in a box and be friends with benefits. He asked me "How are we suppose to move on if we keep doing this" My question was "do you want to move on" his answer "I don't know" Again I'm left in limbo. But I can say this...today I've decided not to settle for less then what I want. If he can't give it or doesn't want it then I know I'll have to move on as hard as it may hurt. Only time will tell what will happen next.

I had contact with him yesterday. I thought that he had changed his number but he didn't. I don't know why I called to check, but I did. I just wanted and needed some closure. It's funny because I spent time apologizing and explaining myself only to hear him say that he doesn't want the relationship because he could never trust me because I invaded his privacy with the email. He also said that he still loves me and that this was the dumbest thing he has ever broke up over. He still refused to tell me why she said that she was his woman and that she was only playing with me. That I don't believe. I have to start my NC all over again. I can't lie I still love him and I know I have to let go but it's hard. I appreciate the comments from everyone because this has been really hard on me. Thanks for the support

I'm glad it worked out for you but he has said things like he never wants to see me again. I mean he has been just down right mean. I even got a email from her saying that they were just friends and that he still loves me but this was AFTER she sent me a email saying that she was his woman. I mean this is crazy and what I hate is that he has me looking like I'm the bad guy. I mean I guess if he would just tell me what was really up I could put some kind of closure on this. If he had of just been truthful in the beginning we wouldn't be here now