mpaver

thanks guys. i just ned to repeat again that i'm in the Uk and the legal consenting age is 16. no law after that age. I want to take the advice of venus777 but i think she may be slightly too immature to A - unserstand it all, and B - treat the situation with respect and not blow up with those teenage hormnes. I can tell that I'm going to have to give us a break at the very least, 'cos it has got very serious lately and t's gettin too hard for me to see them together. thanks again

i think you rally need to find out wy she just want's to be friends. and from experience, girls don't really mean that phrase too often. even if tey do, it never lasts long. once you find out what's up with her, you'll have all the material you will need to make a come back conversation with her.

speakin as a guy, and me personally, i too get very jealous of girlfriends when they go out with other lads or when they are gone for long periods of time. it's completely natural and everyone copes with it differently. apparently, all these psychologists say that your jealousy is determined by how insecure you are. so working off that assumption, your b/f must have some issues. especially trust one's. even though you may trust and love someone, part of you still thinks they may be capable of doing wrong things. it' daft, but true.

i had the exact same thing when i finished with my second g/f of 12 months. i finished her because every single day she accused me of seeing someone else when i wasn't. in the end i just got fed up of trying to work things out with her. anyway, even after doing so, is still wanted her to contact me because i missed her even though she hurt me. it seems like a perfectly natural thing to me. To get over it, i actually confronted her (at college) and she was obviously pissed at me. but we actually managed to smooth things over and she understood why i finished her. we didn't get back together, but i have peace of mind now

good points m8. i'm insecure about the relationship really. i always know in the back of my head that she might not dump him,but i live in hope for a while, it think it's worth a little wait. i do agree that she's a little immature and she never actually makes clear cut decisions about anyhing. I know it might not work out. but we've been into each other for so long that it's seems like a few more weeks wouldn't hurt to wait for a decision. BTW, we both agreed that in the next few weeks she would decide because it is getting harder for us.

I don't know how you're doing it, but you're saying the things that have been running through my head for the last few days. I personally think i need to cool off a bit, but she keeps asking me where i am if i stay out of contact for too long, and if i still talk to her, but not as much, she ask's what's wrong with me. Over the months, i've been trying to get her to build up her self-confidence a bit by helping her to learn to make her own decisions and make her sef happy. it's been working, but she still likes me to make her laugh and smile. She know's how hard it might be with me, we talk about our future a lot in preperation in a way. I want to believe that she will dump him, there is a large chance, but there's always that natural doubt in the back of my head. I'm willing to wait it out for a while, but for my own mental health, i'll have to break it off soon or it will screw me up. One of the main reasons she likes me so much is that i always make her smile and laugh, and i'm a great listener. we talk about lot's of stuff and she comes to me for help all the time. oh and she love's how i kiss (feel free to puke).

True on all accounts. Those are the points i keep thinking and remind her about sometimes. I didn't tell her to stop being physical with him, she made the decison on her own. She's only with him still because they have been dating for a year and she obviously has feelings for him. it would be un-human to not have. She hate's how he treats her and she basically isn't happy at all, and i make her really happy. hopefully she will make a decision soon, cos it's really putting pressure on me

I just added more to the main description of the post that will enlighten you more

i live in the uk and it's legal over her once your 16. I probably could find someone my own age, but i wasn't looking for anyone when i met her and we just really fell in love with each other. There's a LOT more to the story than just a 21 year old hooking up with a 16 year old, but i kinda needed some quick advice.

PLEASE HELP I need advice on a relationship i've being persuing with a 16 y/o i've fallen in love with. and to top it off, she's already got a b/f who is my cousin. but she love's me a lot and talks to me everyday. the full story is below. 6 months ago i met my cousins girlfriend at a family event. we got on like anyone else would. me and my cousin don't talk to each other much because we are distant, but we started talking on MSN messenger after the event. after a few days, his g/f started to talk to me on MSN too and we got on well. she was flirting like i'd expect any 16 old lass to do and it was just fun for a while. than after about a month of talking to her nearly everyday on MSN, we started to get feelings for each other. the feelings were shown both ways, not just from me btw. anyway, one night she got horny and started talking to me dirty so i just joined in. we stayed up till like 7am. after a few weeks of our convo's getting a lot more personal, we met up and shared a few kisses. I don't feel any regret or sympathy for my cousin purely because we are that distant. it's like me doing it behind an un-related guys back, I don't care that much. After a few months, we both had a lot of feelings for each other. and "i love you" was exchanged a few times, and not just said in a passive way. anyway, i asked her to date me, and she said she couldn't leave him, so i let it cool off. we still talked, but she obviously still had feelings for me because after the 5th month, something clicked and we fell quite deeply in love with each other. we talk ALL the time, txt on the phone all the time, and we've met twice in the last few weeks to talk and kiss and stuff. she is now that in love with me that she's refuses all requests of sex or foreplay off her b/f and even rang me up one night after he'd fingered her when she didn't want him to crying her eye's out apologising to me. she's pretty dedicated to me. we've been talking a lot lately about her dating me and she's leaning towards dating me and dumping him. i know that she will be attracted to a lot of the things i can ofer her as a 21 year old such as money, a car for going places, the fact that i can take her to pubs for a drink, and that I've got a lot more experience in bed. I don't get to see her much, and 80% of communication is on MSN, 15% i txt'ing, and about 5% is on the phone. this is probably because it's easier to express and talk to a screen than to each other's face. Lately though, i've been getting VERY jealous and feel sick sometimes. like tonight for example, she told me her b/f is sleeping over which never happens. I trust her and i know she won't do anything, but i'm human and i still hate the idea. anyway, my main problem is jealousy and missing her through not seeing her. anyway, i have the chance to take her out ALL day monday 'cos she has some spare time, and i really need to know what i should be saying or doing with her to try and get all of this sorted. thanks for any replies