keeper_of_the_peace

I don't know, but if it were me I would want to be around to hear, loud and clear, the words "I'm bi" coming out of his mouth...When he said he was bi, were you there? I guess I'm kind of wondering too why you chose to distance yourself from him just because his friends said he's gay...Couldn't you feel him out yourself by developing a friendship with him first? It's hard to say why he's showing up in the same places that you are...Flirting with other girls. It could be a coinsidence, or it could be that he's trying to get your attention. Maybe he wants you to take the next step. I think you should pursue this a little further...

Well if she's not bi, it is possible that she's just a very flirty, fun, open-minded, straight girl. I can see why you're confused... I was in a similar situation...Before I came out to anyone, a girl who is gay and I had become close friends. We hung out a lot, went to parties together, yada, yada, yada...NO ONE knew that I was bi (I don't think that I was even sure at the time)...But she apparently had a crush on me, and it got to the point that she couldn't hide it anymore. I think what she expected was for me to not be her friend anymore...Well, it just so happens that I am an open-minded person, and I was completely fine with it. We stayed friends and eventually started going out, and we're still together. I think the point I'm trying to reach is, you need to tell her. If this girl is open-minded, it shouldn't phase her whether she's bi or straight. If she is a little homophobic and uncomfortable with it, you may lose any type of relationship with her all together. But would you really want to be friends with someone who doesn't accept you for who you are? Just my opinion...

Hey I don't know if you're still interested in other people's opinions, but here's mine... You obviously have a lot going on here, and I can see how it may seem overwhelming...I think you need to work on your low self-esteem first. You need to build yourself up, become more confident. I believe that a therapist could help you do that. In the meantime, take note of the things that you like about yourself, maybe you're a good listener, maybe you're a good cook...It may even be something as small as you thinking you have pretty eyes, nice hair...It sounds to me like you are a compasionate person; you care about other people and sometimes put their needs before your own. This is an incredible trait to have, but you have to be careful because you want to make sure that people don't take advantage of you. I feel that your partner has been doing this, unfortunately. Maybe this all sounds sappy to you, but doing these things are like taking little steps to a healthier and happier you. Surely, but slowly, you will become a stronger, more confident person. Then it will be a littler easier for you to conquer the other issues that you have, like your weight and the problems that you are having with your partner. So first, find a good therapist and start patting yourself on the back from now on; don't be so hard on yourself. Your therapist will help you to see that you can do it. Don't get overwhelmed; take little baby steps... Just my opinion...I hope that it helps in some way.

Yeah, my family has also said that I need to put myself first. I guess I'm just worried about my partner...She's been suicidal in the past. I also worry that the distance between us will ruin our relationship. I don't know... BTW, thanks for your reply

I'm originally from Pennsylvania but have been living in Arizona for the past 2 1/2 years. I've been with my partner for just over a year now...She has her own share of problems and is also seeing a therapist. Just before Christmas, I came to Pennsylvania...Everyone assumed it was for the holidays, but it was more for an intervention. I won't get into it too much, but basically my therapist in AZ and my family in PA intervened when I got to the point of where I was ready to take my own life. I was hospitalized just after Christmas. Since then, I've been with my family in PA...Everyone thinks it's for the best. They all think that it's important for me to have support while I'm dealing with my problems from the past and now. So obviously I have a new therapist and pyschiatrist here. The process to get me better is going to be a long one... Meanwhile in AZ is my partner. She was the one who initially pushed me to come to PA and get well; she told me herself many, many, many times that she would not be strong enough to give me the support I needed because of the problems of her own that she needs to work on, which is understandable. She said that me getting well would help her to get well...But now, when I talk to her, all she does is ask me when I'm coming back. And she's not taking care of herself. She hasn't gone to her therapist in two weeks, and she's throwing up (She's already lost over ten pounds), and she over exercises. I'm angry, I'm frustrated, and I'm concerned. I don't know what to say anymore or what to do. I feel like she's not keeping her end of the deal...I'm working on my problems and getting the help that I need, and she's going backwards. I don't know if anyone would have any comments or advice on this one...Maybe it's too complicated. Do I go back to AZ to help her but lose the support of my family...Or do I stay here and concentrate on getting myself healthy?

Both of your opinions have helped, so thanks for replying . A big part of me wants to just tell her and get it off my chest. I guess what's keeping me from doing that is the chance that she will completely reject me and tell me that she can no longer treat me. I would be devastated ...I still need to give this a lot of thought.

Okay, how do I say this? Let me just put it out there…I have feelings for my therapist. I have since the first time I spoke to her. I don't know if it's love, but I do know that there's more to it than me thinking she's a nice person. I think about her when we're not in session…a lot. So I don't know what to do. Obviously, I'm not supposed to have a personal relationship with her, outside of the doctor-patient relationship. Besides that, I'm bi, and I think she's straight (I've never come out and asked her if she's attracted to women.). Also, although age doesn't matter, there is a significant amount of years between us…31. So do I just go on with our sessions and say nothing. Or do I tell her how I feel and risk the chance of her telling me that she can no longer treat me? Am I wrong for feeling this way about her? I'm lost and confused! Can anyone please offer me their advice?