itsmec

No, that wasn't his name.. but that was funny that it happened to someone else

I would love someone who puts their effort into me, it's just that there seem to be way too many barriers with this. The race thing is a huge one ( don't mean to sound so old fashion). There are way too many coincedences.. there were even more that I didn't say. Well about a week ago i posted a problem with my current boyfriend of 2 years who I love like I love myself, but he has a fear of commitment..( or just doesn't like lables).. boy this whole situation is just freaking me out, really. Don't want to make the wrong turns.

What do you mean number 1? Does he have another woman? Is he neglecting you?

Ok, 5 years ago I went away to be a counselor in a sleep away camp. I met a guy there and somehow we fell in love ( this is the very condensed version). We were going to get married, but the problem was that he lived in Holland, I lived in New York, He was white, I was black, He was 27 and I was 18. I also had a boyfriend. Well eventually we drifted away from each other because we knew the long distance thing wouldn't work. Every year since then we've been in contact with eachother. I ended up having a child with the guy I was dating then, and moving in with him. Coincidentally, my daoughter was born on this guys birthday. He came to see me from holland after this happened and over the next year we started making plans to get married again. He bought me a ring and everything, but I wanted to try to work things out with my daughter's father. I would never let him officially give me the ring, and we ended up losing touch again. I ended up moving and breaking up with my daughter's dad. What do you think happenes??? Amazingly this guy emails me from the blue and tells me he moved to a part of NY that is 15 min away from my new apartment!!! 1 more coincedence to add to those two is that I ended up having to hire a babysitter for my daughter, and the two girls that I wanted both knew him!! 1 of the girls worked at the place he currently worked in NY and the other one worked in the camp after I left... The one that worked in the camp had my ring on when she came to my house to interview with me. He gave it to her because he told her the whole story about me and he said that it would never work out. She liked the ring so he gave it her. She had no idea who I was when she came to my house. This happened over a year ago and i just found out last night. He told me that the ring was trying to make it's way back to me. Are these signs that I should be with this guy?? We are so different.. and I haven't really given him a chance, but he puts so much effort into me. I'm trying so hard with this other guy who has a commitment problem, and here I am with prince charming knocking on my door every couple of months for the last 5 years. What should I do.. I think that no one would accept of because of race. There's way more to this story, but too much to tell.

I think you should see him, but go out in a public place... Don't start being used for sex.

Thanks for the advice. I had a conversation with him today about how I felt, and still nothing. He told me to do what I need to do. I asked him how my move would affect our relationship and he said he doesn't know. This just shows me that I need to move on. I don't have anymore time to waste.

Well if you really want thim back ask him how he feels about her. That should give you some indication of where you stand. Then take it from there.

I think I failed to mention that he is 32!! That was an important detail to leave out. This is why I think he will never change, although he has told me that this is his first real relationship. what do you think? I really love him, and other than his commitment level everything has been perfect. I also have a child with someone else who he loves like his own. She's very attached to him. but if he will let me move without a word, does he really see a future with me?

he's playing you like a game. he wants his cake and eat it too... He is not worth getting upset over, believe me.. I've done the same thing to men in the past. Leave him alone! Most likely those arguments were started by him, or he used the situation to continue the arguments. He was already dating that girl... believe me, I've done it before. he wanted a reason to break up.

I've been in a relashionship for 2 years with someone I met in the midst of an abusive relationship. He was my savior. We ended up falling in love and being there for eachother when we were needed. I had a problem with him and his commitment level. I had to break up with him after our first year because he wouldn't commit to me. I never met his friends, parents or even got the pleasure of being called his girlfriend We got back together after about a month or 2. Everything had been fine, complete change, but now I feel like the relationship is not going anywhere. I don't think bringing up marriage is a good idea, because I feel like he will turn me down,and plus I just actually got commitment from him. I need to move out of my apartment, and he hasn't even made any suggestions. He knows I may move out of the state if I don't find something here, but he has said nothing. Should I just let him go?? Our relationship otherwise is perfect. How do I let him know how I feel without seeming so pushy? I don't want to waste anymore time. It took 2 years to just feel like I'm in a real relationship with him. It will probably take 10 years to get married!!