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Where has that confident GUM GIRL gone. To him since you kind of directly asked him to advance your relationship, he feels weak. Everyone in this situation does NOT KNOW, you don't know, he does not know etc........ If you don't know ASK simple. I was SHY too, I still remember the first girl I had a HUGE crush on and did nothing about it for 3 years. WHAT during those three years happened NOTHING. Nothing happens if you don't ask. I finally got the nerve to ask her out, with NO motivation from ANYONE. I was nervous hands shaking, dry mouth etc.... but I did it. 3 Things Help 1. Rehearse what you are going to say many time over, like a presentation and imagine different outcomes and create reactions to them, from the very worst to the best. 2. KNOW that the interaction, will ONLY last within a 1 to 2 min time span. Hi..........Question.........Answer.......Reaction 3. There is no such thing as a bad experience, every experience or event is a lesson for you to learn, even sometime you don't see it. Just Do It, sounds like the guy is TOTALLY into you, just affirm it with him verbally not in NOTE format. Read Men are from Mars Women are from Venus - Helps to explain Allot (I can send you the e-version) PS Do not take what he is doing or evens say as a reflection of yourself. Do not measure yourself by the success or failure you have with one person. You are mostly likely a very caring, loving and sweet person, who deserves a huge hug and deep kiss from a cute guy everyday, so cheer up.

Sickness Cause A nice guy will stop flirting with you and mostly like act sweet at best. Basically he usually worships the ground you walk on. This is caused by his mother and father relationship, MUM likes sweet things and DAD never shows attraction methods (usually). Cure Guys are goal oriented, so give him a goal, tell him directly or indirectly that you are turn-on (as most women are) by flirting and that he does not do it. Sickness Wondering , your not sure if he like you hmmmmm. Cause By not asking, playing games, interpreting things wrongly or overly interpreting things, mixed with emotions can cause this. Cure Walk up to him and asks him if he really likes you or not. Method: Y: "I like you Jordan, hmm So what are you going to do about it" Question: So what happened at the party ?

Well my advise is pretty simple: Give him a deadline of two or three months to decided or the relationship ends. In my opinion if he can't decide in three months to move to the next level he obviously does not have strong enough feelings for you.

All I can say this is why most guys who are actually nice never get the girl. Why are you even the slightest bit attract to guy who does not really give a sh*t about in any real way? A fact of life is "we all want the thing we can't have" , this does not mean we need it or really want it, it just means we desire it intensively. Move on and look for a guy who you can at least list down five qualities , which you really like and can't find in most other people. P.S. You have a good friend, who gives good advice stick with it

You don't reply to a statement like this, do something about it, read and apply the knowledge gained and observe/ adapt to what works for you. Keep her as a friend, because as you change she will give you feedback comparing you before and now. Insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results. De-Wussify yourself, walk up to ten women everyday and just talk to them for 1 -3 min, build up your confidence. Nike: Just Do It - Change

Well I guess Colby know about the thing with Jordan, which has got his head think about your friend. I suppose he is awaiting for his gum as well. Best of luck at the party. Don't be or

I agree with the above, But you are doing one thing wrong. YOU ACT like a WUSS around her. That why she see you as a friend. Read some David DeAngelo or better still buy his CD, to save you from being a WUSSY. The Sad truth is most women like the bad boys frame, the ideal person is the one without the abuse attached. There are more fish in the sea, so try to change your attitude around her or swim on.

One sentence: YOU ROCK GUM GIRL I can image you understand who has the POWER now. YOU. Don't give him your confidence away girl, think it dream it, do it. The look and turning away when you look at him 100% attraction sign. Believe me the more you ask people out the more laughs you will have, sometimes it can be a bad day, but most of the time you'll enjoy the experience. BTW what was in written in the note ? Let me know when Hurricane Gum Girl strikes again. I am so proud of you

This kick A!@: "I could marry a girl like you, but I would divorce you 2 weeks later and take half of your money"

So then girls if you like a guy which word(s) from the previous list would you tell him to his face. But funnily enough is so true most girls prefer a bad boy instead of a sweet boy aka nice guys. The adventure of taming the Tiger I suppose.

How to seal the invitation ? It what inside that matters, your name or nick name will be just fine Inside the invitation ? Make it one sentence, KISS (keep it short and sweet) ? Stop debating this is NOT an invitation for marriage It and invitation for a possible relationship. Remember your the women you have the power to completely reject him so act and think confidently. Best of luck Kiss Kiss SIS

Don't worry so much, you don't have to be perfect and know what to do in ever situation. As a suggestion for the class opening thing. If it does happen and he comes after you just say "Call me later, we will talk then", smile and walk away - be confident. One of my friends told me this about relationships. A relationship develops based on the context it was original started with, so you have five doors to open to another human-being, the professional, acquaintance, friendship, best friend and the relationship door. So what i am trying to say is you will not sound desperate to Jordan, all you are doing is just opening this relationship door and showing it to Jordan. You can always tell him upfront, you don't want a relationship yet, you still want to be friends for awhile. Then you or him can close or walk through that door as you so wish. So go open that DOOR and don't let your gum stick you down. P.S. Just think of me as your on-line

You sound all panic struck with excitement, it feel like you have made a clear cut decision in your mind to do something, sounds great (lets see what are the outcomes). I like the gum girl, but honestly I doubt he'll even notice it and make the connection of "let him know that i was thinking about him" his a guy remember, but that a really sweet thing to think of . The invitation is an awesome way of asking him out sneakily. Add an extra note to the back of your #'s "Lets see where our friendship, will lead us. - Hotty" This way he will know you are into him, but you want to take the transition slowly. Or alternatively "We might need to change our friendship" then when he calls tell how you feel, be honest. My choice would be the last one, if you cannot face your fears talk to them

I thought this would be a cool topic to post, the different interpretations of common complimenting words we. Lets see what the ladies\gents opinions are on the below and their meaning: Sweet: Cute: Cool: Nice: Hot: Adorable Please add some if I forgot any other common ones

So what caused you to become happier, smile more, help ppl out more ? Ask Colby out on your g\f's behalf, I would call this helping ppl out ? It will also help yourself with the fear of asking guys out then later on you can talk to Jordan about what you did and kind of hint you feel the same way. Your worst fear is not that he will disown you after you ask him out i.e. lose your friendship, but he will simply tell you his not interested. It more scary to go up to a complete stranger you think might be interesting and asking her out than it is to ask a semi- friend. Start thinking like this, Worsting thing He says NO, not interest in me, we become better friends and I'll find a great guy later on Best Thing We get together and become a great couple and marry after several years of a solid relationship. Things I need to tell him I am afraid of getting hurt by falling to deeply in love . This is a rule I live by: Never fall in love deeply until you can trust a person with your life. Being in love deeply means you are handing your heart over to the other person in their trust. This does not mean you can't be in love, but what it does mean is you should not let go and plug into a deep state of love until you are sure of the person in terms of trust and honesty. Remember rejection is part of a learning process, the more times you get rejected, the less fearful you are of it. This is good because if another guy comes along who you really really like, then you wouldn't have this wall of fear in front of you. Well I am glad you change yourself to a happier, generous person. It now high time you change your confidence of what a great women you are and start asking guys out. Do not worry about small things and everything in life is a small thing You are already a CoolNerd so become a ConfidentNerd as well (Cover all the C words)

I'll tell you a little secret, sometime we as people change a small part of ourself, but generally inside we feel more or less the same, however you start to notices people commenting saying you are great at x or y. You feel like nearly everyone is motivating you to do whatever, but you kind of think to yourself, I am still the same person a year or six months ago, whats up with all of this new positive encouragement, what are they up to hmmmmmmm. The thing is a small change like smiling more, a slight increase of confidence on your part can present to people a different image of yourself. It happen to me too, you just need to realize that you have changed and all of the confidence people have in you (in your new found coolness) is as a result of something you have done, so start believing you are cool because you are. So I guess you chicken out of doing anything this week. Chicken. Tell me two things What are your worst fears about asking the guys out ? What the best thing which could happen if you did ? Also, I think you need to change your nick from BandNerd1001 to CoolNerd1001. Take Care CoolNerd1001

Most people think the opposite of fear is confidence, not true. The opposite of fear is the lack of it. Its OK to be fearfully, but remember what are you asking your mind. Most likely what could go wrong, what if he hates me for asking etc. Thus your mind gives you logically tons of answers to the negative questions. So get out of that funk, of OMG this will go wrong and change it around by daily asking yourself HOW QUESTIONS. How can I ask him out etc. Trained yourself to do that, it helps. I am not saying you will not get nervous asking him out everyone has this feel, its normal more when its your first time, but as long as you are confident of the outcome i.e. it will be a good outcome whatever happens, you give yourself the hope and strength to do it. The problem of hurting your friend, needs to be cleared out via honesty. This means tell her you do like him, you want to ask him out, do you want to ask him out too ? and tell her you are doing this because you really really value your friendship with her, otherwise he is available and i am interested. Set out a time line of one week let say for her to ask him, if she does not, its your turn. Since you believe you can't ask him out right now, ask your friend the above first, it easy, it respectful and nothing wrong with it. You'll find the more honest you are with people the easier things get and for those who lie to you they are hurting their own self-respect. ------ You went into great detail about Colby, right !, which means you really like him allot or otherwise would have sum the whole thing in two sentence or so and not more - it is cute to see this. You have probable been building these fantasies about Colby; how it would be to go out with him, what he would say to you, lots of romantic events etc, this is the start of love, obsession on the none existing, which not a bad thing. From the description, the both of you are playing like brother and sister, but my take is both of you like each other allot and are afraid of changing the context of relationship from it current form of friendship. Remember if a guy likes you and forms a friendship because of it and then wants to ask you out, his mindset work on the lines of, i got to know this really cute girl we are friends only, but i liked her from day one, if I ask her out she might think I was after her for her body.... only and I'll mostly like lose her if I tell her how I feel. If the opposite happens to me, personally as a man, if I ONLY liked you as a friend, our friendship would be strong not weaker and I'll probable set you up with someone else. As for hard to get (HTG) the trouble is the relationship did not start off with "I like you, lets go out" then HTG afterwords. Stop playing games (you can still be playful after you are a couple), remember guys are very logically so after a while he will stop look to you as an opportunity with STEVI (wonder and find someone else, you stand to lose nothing by asking him out and everything by waiting longer. If I have not inspired you to ask him out, then write him a short letter stating you like him and so does your g/f, so which of us do you like ? Let me know. Else if you are a really really generous person, ask him out but for your g/f and not for yourself. I'll be around only till tomorrow morning GMT+4 then I am off to Iraq to training etc, I'll response to you around Friday. Do something by then. For your own sake do something, anything is better than doing nothing, the longer you ponder the more evidence you will produce to yourself not to do the required. TC 8)

My conclusion from your comments is that you are being like 90% of women or should I say people out there. Scared. In your mind you have already come up with 100 different case scenarios which are all worst case based, 9 out of 10 they will not happen. From a mens perspective, if i was one of your guy friends and you ask basically the two of us to compete for you, I'll laugh at first, but be very interested and will take the challenge. Guys love challenges especially if its against another guy. Remember you are technically not ask them out, but qualify them for a future date. You can dance around this topic for months or simple be honest and ask them out both. But sadly I know for a fact you will not ever try this, because you are still let your emotion rule you. Always think, what is the best thing that could happen, not the worst. "Your soul is you and your mind is a tool for your soul, use it wisely and it shall server well" Let me know what happens

Your making it too complex for yourself. The simple fact is that a guys will love if it if a girl asks him out, no questions asked. Remember you are the women, you have the power to reject or accept him. So my advice is this. 1.0 First determine which one you like more, choose and ask him out. 1.1 If your choice is the one your friend likes, tell her you like him too, but out of respect for her, she needs to make a move (1.0), or else you will ask him out. 1.2 If you can't decide which one you like, ask them both out at the same time, this way both will try to win you over or one will back off. Ask for an event where money cannot make much difference in the contest. Make sure you create a list for the perfect outcome (keep it hidden), so at the end you can make a logical decision and not an emotional one. Always ask with the confidence of proud cat, rather than with a sheepish grin. Lastly remember your only 17 enjoy the outcome, however do not play with them like dolls.