WithLove
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Everything posted by WithLove
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I do miss the scent of a man, that's for sure. Sigh..... Enjoy it!!
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All you can do is trust him that he will bring forward any concerns that he has with you... just as he's trusting you to bring any to his attention. He has just as much at stake as you! The pillow was smart and a nice touch! A little thing to remind you that he is serious about you without using any "trigger words", as ITIC puts it. I think it's a good thing. Besides, he'll probably look forward to having your scent on it once you leave.
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Sure - and you know they make good money, because everything in Whole Foods is extremely expensive.
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It's a potential concern because it gave you such anxiety in a previous relationship. So for you, yes, it's something to be concerned about.
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Post here instead of contacting your ex!
WithLove replied to Nynnja's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
I'm starting to get over you. -
Will there ever be a time where I can go back to believing that people want to be good, even if they generally aren't?
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Perhaps calling them "crazy" or "psycho" is his way of keeping them as far away from him as possible. You know - he doesn't think of himself as either of those things, so he picked whatever names he could think of that were the extreme opposite, so that they have nothing to do with him. And of reassuring you that there's nothing for you to worry about?
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I think maybe just wait to say anything until after the holidays. It's hard to keep a schedule for anything due to the craziness of family time.
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What is the weather right now in your city/town/village, Part 2
WithLove replied to Seraphim 's topic in Off Topic's Topics
The only reason I'm here is because my family is here. Trust me, if I ever had a good enough reason to leave, I would (and have). I hate it here. -
What is the weather right now in your city/town/village, Part 2
WithLove replied to Seraphim 's topic in Off Topic's Topics
Still in the 80s and still waiting for a sign of cool weather here in Florida. We had one weekend where it dropped down into the 50s. Otherwise, it's been hotter than it has been in decades. -
Christmas sounded like a mess - but the silver lining was that S handled himself well with your family and got good reviews. That's a good sign!
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Why haven't you blocked Mark yet?
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Post here instead of contacting your ex!
WithLove replied to Nynnja's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
^ What an opener! I'm gonna try it. "I like your socks." -
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What is the weather right now in your city/town/village, Part 2
WithLove replied to Seraphim 's topic in Off Topic's Topics
It's supposed to be 85F for Christmas. -
Life's short. Enjoy it!
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What I meant about the arm's length comment - we all go into a new relationship with what we've learned from a prior one. We go into it hoping we've learned something, right? Hoping we won't get hurt again, at least in the same way? But by keeping that in mind, inevitably we always end up shutting our partner out in one way or another. And they usually have no idea why. And it's not their fault. I would hate for you to do that to S. You don't have to 'jump in with both feet'. But you can certainly approach it with more enthusiasm and less fear.
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It's definitely going to take some time to acclimate when it comes to travelling to see each other, I think. It's one thing to do it when it's your livelihood; you really have no choice. But you have a choice as to who you date, so it'll be 100% he or you making the effort to see each other. Trust me, I know where you're coming from. It does wear on you. J and I, we saw each other about once a week, sometimes a little less if cash flow wasn't so great for either of us for a short period. It doesn't sound as if long distance communication is any problem with you to at this point, so maybe you could suggest a little less time spent at each other's homes, at least for right now? It doesn't seem like you've been seeing him all that long. I might need to page back on that, though. I think you like him a lot, way more than you bargained for, and you weren't prepared for that. That's what happens, Reinvent. You can be prepared for a lot of things, but finding a connection with someone sort of makes all your rules fly right out the window. Trying to go into it with a smart head is really admirable, but mostly it will just mean that you'll be holding him at arm's length. You won't let him into your heart, and in the end, you won't get what you want or need, and neither will he - and what'll be the point? Re: the dogs - does he have the ability to contact his ex to see if she wants them, or is that a burned bridge? Has he tried to contact any family member at all? I know that struggle, too - I had to give up my cat earlier in the year when I moved, but luckily I was able to give her to a friend of the family, who gives me updates on her every so often. Is something like that an option for him?
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Post here instead of contacting your ex!
WithLove replied to Nynnja's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
Miss you. It was for the best. -
How's the communication going?
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I think his actions spoke a whole lot more than any words he could have said, Reinvent. He went through a lot of trouble for you. But I would still give yourself a mental time limit to see how you're feeling. When you reach it, evaluate this relationship (?) and see how you feel.
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I think it would be more of a mistake if it was sort of like an accident. After J and I were exclusive, I went to delete the dating app off my phone but clicked on it by accident. So it must've showed that I went active because I started getting hits on my profile again. But S actively went into it just to message someone. So to me, it was poor judgment and especially bad timing. You know me. I'm worry over it in here for days, til Faraday or someone told me to chill the f out. So I'll tell you the same. No, I don't think his reason sticks. Yes, I think he could have picked a better time to delete his profile rather than as a shotgun response to you asking him about it. But it's done. I believe that he wants to be with you. I believe he did those things to show you his intent. I think you need to try and let it go. Try and let this pass as a mistake rather than poor judgment. See how the next, say, 2 weeks go. Give yourself a short amount of time to see how you're feeling so that it doesn't seem overwhelming. When you reach 2 weeks, reflect on it and ask yourself how you feel. Then see what you want to do then.
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Do you think what he did was a mistake or just poor judgment and timing on his part?
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What do you want to do? Do you want to continue seeing him? If it was someone other than you - what advice would you give yourself?
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I tend to overanalyze it til it blows up in my face and make a big deal over absolutely nothing. So at least you're way ahead of me!