WithLove
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Everything posted by WithLove
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But I think it's important to remember that men are very visual, and for him to mention your cute butt is pretty good. I totally get where you're coming from. He needs to know that you're reaching for things that mean more than a physical element, and not getting that. I think he'll respond and make efforts to give you what you're needing right now. All of the things you've questioned or found lacking, he has addressed and fixed. How do you feel about that?
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Yes, but if anyone on here posted a thread about dating a week after leaving their ex, everyone would say that it would be way too soon. Even if you were checked out for years, cutting the physical tie to him likely opens emotional ones. Obviously not in every case, like yours, but that's what happened in mine with J, and it happens a whole lot.
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I agree with you about people being with who they want. When my ex C cheated on me, I finally understood that... people are people, and they are going to do what they want, sometimes regardless of the consequences. It wasn't my fault that he chose to cheat. It wasn't my fault that he chose not to just come to me and tell me he wanted out of the relationship. I can't be brave for other people - just for myself. You know?
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That I believe to be crossing boundaries, in all honesty. There's no reason for her to be receiving mail still. She should have completed a change of address months ago, and he should be writing "does not live here" on the mail and putting them back in his box for the mail carrier to take back. All of her mail would eventually trickle down until nothing is sent there... and it doesn't take 8 months for that to happen. What gives?
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Why does she still have mail coming to his home, 8 months after having moved out? Idk.... It doesn't sit well with me either. Concerns for each of you are natural ones, if not justified. Only thing you can really do is trust that he wants you and will continue to make sure you're aware of that. Same thing you can do for him, in regards to your male friend.
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It's okay - I didn't feel like leaving my bed this morning. It's in the 40s here in Florida - too cold!
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Sorry about the cat, Liefde. I hope he comes back. All I can think about is food today.
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Hope you're having a good weekend, Reinvent!
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I think perhaps it's one of the first times you've looked at S and thought.... "This could be a real thing". And I think you're scared and very nervous about that. And frankly, if you weren't, I'd be wondering why you'd be mellow. Because that's more telling than being scared is. It's okay. S being there for you, even in just listening, is a really good thing. It's made you reflect on why your past relationships didn't work, and why this one might.
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Ugh. I'm struggling so much with my insurance right now already. It makes me want to just cry. I've been to the doctor twice in a month, and I owe them $322! For two visits! That's not even counting the EKG I had, either. My stupid insurance doesn't cover anything at all until I meet the $2,600 deductible... Which looks like it'll actually happen. But I live alone, with just my income. Where do they expect all this money to come from?
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I hear you!!! But... $800/month?? That's insane. There should be no deductibles or copays. That's why you're paying so much, after all.
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I'm grateful I took control of my health and well-being and asked to be taken off of a med, even though it's beneficial for me. I'm grateful that I figured out my tolerance and that the side effects for those meds were too much for me, and I spoke up. And I'm grateful my doctor listened to my concerns and agreed with me.
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Maybe just a small comment on the more permanent things, like the flat iron and blow dryer, would be helpful. "Hey, I dig you, and I like the direction we're heading - but you having them here already is a little too quick for me." "BUT - staying over for a night sounds like a great idea. When can we do that next? I'll bring my own toiletries, promise "
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^ Whoa, old school!
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What is the weather right now in your city/town/village, Part 2
WithLove replied to Seraphim 's topic in Off Topic's Topics
It's wonderful, Vic, but I remember living up north in the States during winter and I do miss the snow, believe it or not. Today is the first day that it feels like 'winter'. Christmas wasn't so great weather-wise... It was 85F that day. -
What is the weather right now in your city/town/village, Part 2
WithLove replied to Seraphim 's topic in Off Topic's Topics
It's a wonderfully cold 55F here in SW Florida today! Highs in the low 60s. It's lovely! -
^ Ugh yesssss! And the people behind you, too....
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It's okay to be afraid of the answer and still want to be in the relationship, though. It's just a matter of finding a pace that suits you both. I do think he is moving a little too quick for you, but I also believe you really like him (despite some things you've mentioned not liking) and you're trying to justify his pace with that. It's a nice idea in theory, but I believe eventually you'll retreat and he'll be left wondering what happened.
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Given the above - it does certainly seem like he's thinking of the long term picture, and sometimes moving at a pace more quickly than you're comfortable with. I'd think about having that conversation with him sometime soon; I fear you're going to get overly anxious otherwise, and you pull away when you do that. It's better to be honest with him, Reinvent, rather than not saying anything but slowly distancing yourself.
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I think the pillows set it off - made Reinvent aware that perhaps he is thinking long-term, which could mean cohabitation and marriage.
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Bless you, Alli, for this post. People like you in the pharmacy give me hope. I'm dealing with my own insurance/medication issues right this moment and it's so hard. I just want to break down and cry most days over it, because I live alone and there's no one to help me. Hearing how you went out of your way to help that family with the sick kid - It makes my heart smile.
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For myself.... I would just be honest. I would tell him that I've been having a lot of anxiety over thinking about the relationship, because I'm realizing that I like my life the way it is and I'm afraid of being made to compromise that. And I'd ask him what his ultimate intentions are, regarding dating in general and in dating me. I just feel like.... if more couples took the time to discuss what each other wanted... instead of assuming things all the time.... or hiding what they truly wanted.... a lot more relationships would be saved, and a lot more people would be happy in them. So many people get stuck in relationships where they aren't happy, but don't want to leave because leaving is worse than staying.
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Well, have you asked S what his goals are? If his are to be live together and get married someday.... well, it might help you during your moments of waffling, since ultimately you don't want the same things. That being said, what you both have probably works well for you right now, because he's far enough away that you don't see him too much and he also travels for work, which also means you know there will be days when he won't be available. That also would be true if marriage was an option, you know. Him traveling.
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What are your long terms goals when it comes to dating? Is cohabitating with someone something that you'd eventually like? Because there's nothing wrong with you and a significant other both leading separate lives, but still seeing each other when it's convenient for you both.
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^ I think, if they wanted to make drugs legal in the States, they can, but just make it mandatory for everyone to order through a certain cable company's customer service line. Betcha it wouldn't be such a hot button topic anymore.