cabernet

OK, briefly, here is what I did: My X, let's call her Z, is a flight attendant and had just gotten back from a long flight. She had not slept for 31 hours by the time we met so I begged her to come back to my place where I would cook her dinner, give her a massage and she could take a nap. But instead, she insisted on going to a gorgeous restaurant for dinner where each table is in its own little room with cushions. So we went. When, in the middle of dinner, my cell phone beeped, she grabbed it and started to read the text message. I tried to take it back half heartedly, but i didn't really care so much. I had done nothing wrong. And then... she started reading all my messages and found one from my former gfriend, Y, arranging a meeting for this weekend (just to talk about money-honest!). I told her why, but she demanded I call Y and cancel the meeting. I said no, that I wanted to get it over with this weekend. I told her I had no feelings for the other girl and that I just wanted to tie up all loose ends, but if she wanted, I'd meet Y on a different day (Z would be flying that weekend). Not good enough, Z said. She said "You have to choose! Me or her!" I told her I had chosen - that I was with Z and not Y. Not good enough. "Call her now!" she said. So I think about it for a minute and when I look back, Z is asleep on the cushions. I pop open my phone and call Y, and I cancel our meeting. Only, it's a little surprising, because we both maybe get a little emotional on the phone, and by the time I hang up, I feel real bad. I try to tell Z that I called Y for her, but she tells me to shut up and let her sleep. Finally, I tell her- "Let's go" and I leave and she follows me. By the time I reach the outside, I'm pretty pissed although I'm not completely sure why. I walk ahead dragging her suitcase behind me, then realize she has sat down on a bench. I go back and call her a taxi. "Z," I said, "why don't you go home? Get in the taxi please". But she tells me she won't get in a taxi. She tells me to go away, to go home. I told her I didn't want to leave her. She said "I don't want to be with you now. Go home". I call her another taxi and we repeat the same dialogue almost verbatim, except this time I do leave and I don't come back. I go home, but by the time I get into bed, I've convinced myself that what I did was terrible to leave a beautiful girl alone downtown after she hadn't slept in 37 hours and was a little drunk. If you've read this, thanks a lot for your patience and please tell me what you think. Was I a jerk? She left me and is never coming back. Did I deserve it?

I'll tell you in one word what the secret is for me to get over this breakup: PRIDE. I've failed at very few things in my life, and every lover I've had has fed my ego like a raging furnace. They called me a god, kneeled and prayed at the foot of my bed not to leave them, told me I was the best at everything. My pride became a hot air balloon that I thought could carry me all around the world. Now the shoe's on the other foot. I have no pride after my last dumped me in the cruelest fashion, and I'm quickly learning that a life without inflated pride is the true lasting key to happiness - perhaps. Not to get down on yourself and beat yourself, but simply to see yourself as you are - good and bad. No lies. No distortion. Without optimism or pessimism. Pride has kept me from pushing life's limits. Pride has kept me from being honest with others and myself. Once a pedestal, it became a cage, and now I am free. I don't know if it works for others, but I'm going to try and enjoy this time of humility which is the starting place of all wisdom and learning. Hope you can do the same.

Hey, wondering what you think. My gf left me for another man and at first it hurt like hell. After a few days, however, I realized that it wasn't real love that was hurting me, but just my ego which before this experience was absolutely huge. I realized as well that I honestly was never truly in love with her, and that I was a little happy she was gone. I can't be sure, but I have a feeling that this breakup was the best thing to happen to me in a while. It's hard for me to believe since I thought it was the worst thing in my life, but upon reflection of my past I can see that it's the medecine I needed to find the true path to happiness. If it hadn't hurt so much, I would have never learned anything. Anyways, I wanted to tell this to my X. I know she feels bad about dumping me, and I'd like to make her feel better, but if I told her what I've told you would she feel better or worse? Maybe it doesn't matter so long as its the truth.

Been reading the pain and suffering here which I was feeling deep just a few days ago. I still feel it. I just wanted to say that I think a lot of us, maybe everyone refuses at some time to accept that others are just as lovable -maybe more- than ourselves. My gf just left me for another man, and it's tough. That's natural. A person I loved has rejected me completely after years of love and devotion and is now in the arms of another man experiencing complete bliss and ecstasy, the way it was when we first met. Incredible, harsh, ugly and beautiful at the same time. Its the beauty of their love that terrifies me the most. They are perfect for each other. Maybe I knew all along that we weren't a perfect match. Now she has found hers and I wander looking for mine. I think only love can heal a wound this deep. But I am determined first to fall in love with myself first before I let another into my heart. Bye for now

You're all right on the money. I've started to see what I have to do. I feel like I have improved myself already. Already I have such a deeper appreciation of other people's pain that I never had before. I always thought I was such a sensitive guy - others told me so. But now I know I was actually selfish and sometimes cold. The pain of this experience has shattered the ice that paralyzed my compassion and empathy and I feel a bit like Buddha looking out the gates of the palace and seeing the suffering of others for the first time. Thanks.

I know the subject line sounds so self destructive, but objectively speaking I think its true. I actually posted this same message 2 days ago but it got erased somwhow, so I'll write it again. Anyone who replied, please reply again. Anyways, yes, he is sexier than Brad Pitt, tall blonde, lean as a fox, and with a very big... and he is very romantic and loves her with all his heart. We fell in love and it was SO intense for 3 months. We made love sometimes 8 times a day, but then I left the country and didn't come back for 2 years. In that time many men propositioned her, not for one night stands but for a lifetime love, but she rejected them every time for me. I broke up with her when I was away, and she sank into a depression, started taking medication, but we got back together. When I came back, however, I didn't love her as much as I once did, and it showed, and her depression deepened. She said she was so crazy about me she counted the number of times I said "Ilove you" and when the # decreased, she felt horrible. I encouraged her to travel and she begged me to come with her but I refused because of work. Finally, on a paradisical tropical island, she met her dream guy and when she returned, it was over. All in all, I'm not sure how I feel. She looked so beautiful when we broke up, like she did when we had first fallen in love, and I knew that she was happy, and honestly a part of me is happy that someone special loves her so much, at the same time I feel empty and alone sometimes. She is with him now in another tropical island and I'm slowly accepting the fact that we can never be together again. She wants to be friends, but I'm not sure... what do you think?