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Thread: Update on ex and went on a date

  1. #1
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    Update on ex and went on a date

    So Alot of ppl know my story already on here , if u dont please read the back story .


    My ex did contact me again and ask to see me but I didn't answer yes because why should I jump at the chance to see him when he didn't want to give me answer chance and forgive me but a month later moved on with a new girl but now he is broke up with her .Anyways we do text back and forth sometimes and I do honestly still care for him.


    I went on a date with a new guy yesterday and I had fun. He is a nice guy and all but I didn't feel like I belonged with him. I almost felt like I was cheating which is weird because I am not with my ex and we been broken up 7 months now. I dont know I thought maybe going on a date would help me snap out of this . I dont know if other people feel this way .


    Maybe I am not ready to date but shouldn't I be after 7 months.? Over all I am doing better since the beginning of the breakup. I am doing all the things in life I am supposed to be doing . But I still do miss my ex . I wondering if this feeling is ever going to go away . Sometimes I wonder will I ever feel something for another guy other than thinking he is cute ?


    I dont think I should go another date with this guy if i was still thinking about my ex. Which my friends would say is stupid because he is type of guy girls would want to be with. But I can't help the way I feel and I was hoping I would feel something but I dont want use this guy as a rebound.


    I don't know u girls/guys I hope I snap out of missing my ex soon and feeling sad over our relationship being over .

  2. #2
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    OH boy. You are really in a mess. Here's the thing---you meet up and find out his intent, or you cut the friendzone until you can move on. You're going to be pushed and pulled indefinitely until you know for certain.

    If it were me, I'd meet up. If he's clear he wants you as a friend, cut him until you can handle it.
    If he wants more, and you do too, you have to put the past in the past. There can't be any rehashing of anything.
    Reuniting with an ex is a fresh start. The old relationship is dead and gone. The most important thing though, is trust.
    Do you trust him? If your answer is no, then let this go.

    Once you are attracted to someone else, the ex occupies less space in your head and heart.
    But you can't get to that point if you have uncertainty regarding him.

    Find out his intent. We all have exe's who move on after us. It's expected. You can't harbor that resentment.

    Good luck! I'm hoping whatever it is you truly want, happens for you. Just be certain he's changed and his intent is sincere, if reconciliation is on the line, because he did tell you he was wanting friendship, right? That may be all he still wants.

  3. #3
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    Originally Posted by SweetGirl28
    OH boy. You are really in a mess. Here's the thing---you meet up and find out his intent, or you cut the friendzone until you can move on. You're going to be pushed and pulled indefinitely until you know for certain.

    If it were me, I'd meet up. If he's clear he wants you as a friend, cut him until you can handle it.
    If he wants more, and you do too, you have to put the past in the past. There can't be any rehashing of anything.
    Reuniting with an ex is a fresh start. The old relationship is dead and gone. The most important thing though, is trust.
    Do you trust him? If your answer is no, then let this go.

    Once you are attracted to someone else, the ex occupies less space in your head and heart.
    But you can't get to that point if you have uncertainty regarding him.

    Find out his intent. We all have exe's who move on after us. It's expected. You can't harbor that resentment.

    Good luck! I'm hoping whatever it is you truly want, happens for you. Just be certain he's changed and his intent is sincere, if reconciliation is on the line, because he did tell you he was wanting friendship, right? That may be all he still wants.

    Hey Sweetgirl

    How are u ? I missed talking to u on here , and thanks for replying you have always given me great advice.


    Yes my emotions are everywhere . He did say friendship but I dont believe him as he was flirting with me and I called him on it and asked if he flirts with all his friends and he says no. He is calling me cutie pie and blah and those are not names he calls his friends .

    As far his intention I dont know if he knows . Maybe he wants to see if we still have something? If I ask him he wont probably give a straight answer he is the type of guy to not expose his feelings and wait to find out what ur thinking etc.

    Also I guess I am a little worried about the ex. I was with him 4 years and he moved to her in a month and they moved quickly and burned out quickly too . Whose the rebound here ? I mean not that we are getting back together. He said they argued too much and doesn't see a future with her so that is why he broke with her . They were together 5 months .

    Another thing I am scared of Sweetgirl
    Is meeting up with him and having all these strong feelings come back and I dont want to get hurt again . I also didn't want jump to meet up with him right after the breakup with girl....I thought I should give it a month or 2 before meeting so he can be more clear headed . What do u think ?

  4. #4
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    Why are you still in contact with your ex? How will you move on?

    You do not sound ready to date. it is also not fair to the guys yo are dating.

    It will go away when you break contact. But, you know this.

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  6. #5
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    Also u said I should put the past in the past if we meet up and look at as a new beginning? I guess that is struggle for me . I guess I am one of those girls that thinks it should be the way it used to be but I know your right.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member figureitout23's Avatar
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    First, for the love of all that is holy stop using people and dating as a coping mechanism, it is one of the most selfish things you can do!

    You're a month? 2 months? Out of a 3 1/2 year relationship and he's still contacting you, you aren't on the healing train, hell you aren't even on the platform.

    Sometimes when we're young we have to learn the hard way, you were told to block him, you were told to cut contact and work on yourself you're rebounding and still contacting the ex, your prerogative and life but again you haven't even began to heal from this yet, leave innocent people out of it and stop dating please!

  8. #7
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    Why didn't you trust your ex? Does he want to reunite? Have you dealt with your issues?

  9. #8
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    Originally Posted by Hollyj
    Why are you still in contact with your ex? How will you move on?

    You do not sound ready to date. it is also not fair to the guys yo are dating.

    It will go away when you break contact. But, you know this.

    You mean missing him will go away with no contact ? Actually I went 4 months with no contact when he was with the girl and it didn't help me to miss him any less .

    Do u that is true for everybody . Like I said my previous ex before this ex cheated so I never contacted him but he did contact me and I didn't block him etc but I got over him in 4 months or so . But with this ex it is different and difficult without no contact or
    with contact .

  10. #9
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    Originally Posted by Hopeful7
    You mean missing him will go away with no contact ? Actually I went 4 months with no contact when he was with the girl and it didn't help me to miss him any less .

    Do u that is true for everybody . Like I said my previous ex before this ex cheated so I never contacted him but he did contact me and I didn't block him etc but I got over him in 4 months or so . But with this ex it is different and difficult without no contact or
    with contact .
    You have to go longer than that.

    Have you sought counseling. Is he willing to forgive you for the false allegations?

    That;s not fair to bring that onto him. That's your issue, and something you have to deal with.

  11. #10
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    Originally Posted by figureitout23
    First, for the love of all that is holy stop using people and dating as a coping mechanism, it is one of the most selfish things you can do!

    You're a month? 2 months? Out of a 3 1/2 year relationship and he's still contacting you, you aren't on the healing train, hell you aren't even on the platform.

    Sometimes when we're young we have to learn the hard way, you were told to block him, you were told to cut contact and work on yourself you're rebounding and still contacting the ex, your prerogative and life but again you haven't even began to heal from this yet, leave innocent people out of it and stop dating please!

    I am not 2 months out of the relationship. It has been 7 months now and after learning about the new girl . I only contacted him once and I asked if he was happy and wished him well. He contacted me this time out of the blue saying he broke up with her . I didn't block him because he was not abusive or threatening me so why would i block a ex that isn't.

    Also I was in no contact for months when he texted me and called me .


    I was not trying use this guy as a coping mechanism. I would never hurt anyone that way . I found him attractive , he asked me out so I said yes . ...it was only one date . I thought maybe I would feel something since I was attracted to him . I dont so I am going to be honest with him and not date him anymore . I definitely dont use ppl as rebounds. That was not even my intention .

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