Girlfriend and I are both busy

I've been dating this girl for 4 months, but we've been talking for a total of 6 months. We're both really busy, she goes to school full time, and works at the hospital three days a week for 12-hour shifts and she also has a 3-year-old daughter. I on the other hand am also a full-time nursing student. Although, we've been dating for 4 months, I've known her from several years back. Today I guess you can say she brought up the idea that she was worried it wasn't going to work out because of the two of us being so busy. Another reason, was because last week, I had promised her I would see her at the gym, but I got caught up in something and didn't keep my word, which upset her. This happened last week, and again on Monday when we had a miscommunication. I'm worried because I wouldn't want this relationship to end because of us being so busy. We normally see each other at least 2-3 times a week depending on our schedules. Sometimes its once to twice a week if she isn't working at her second job on the weekends. I was talking to her also, and mentioned that if we loved each other, we would be willing to work around each other's schedule and wait for each other. She didn't like the idea of "waiting," because she said it would be unfair to me, especially if she were to start nursing school next year. I tried to reassure her that if I truely loved her, waiting wouldn't be an issue for me because I knew she would be trying to better herself and I would try to find the time to see her. She said that was crazy. She really does love me and we miss each other a lot when we don't see each other. I know I need to stay true to my word when I promise to meet her, due to use being so busy. I just want to know your guy's opinion on whether or not you think this relationship would work or last? She's just been really busy this semester due to her schedule, but in two week's my schedule won't be so hectic so I would have the time to see her when she isn't busy.

I'm a little worried that she flipped out when you didn't meet up at the gym and again the next week. You both have busy schedules but you said you still manage to meet up 1-3 times a week. That's a pretty good dating schedule for just a normal 9-5 couple, but it's not enough for her? She sounds like she may be too needy and demanding. It doesn't sound like she wants a boyfriend, she wants a full-time husband to be at her beck and call. And she may be telling you this by claiming it wouldn't be fair to you to continue. I think it's a warning. Watch out.

I think she's put you on notice, so to speak, that she might be thinking about calling this off.

I don't think expecting you to keep your word when you say you will meet her is needy. She was disappointed, and fair enough. But I have a feeling it's not all about this missed gym meet-up. She seems to be rethinking whether or not she genuinely has time to date.

Yeah she did mention that today. This wasn't an issue until I started to cancel lunch dates at her job at least three times, and miss the gym with her twice. I understand that we're both busy and missing these opportunities to see each other would make me upset also and make me rethink whether or not we would have time to date. This wasn't an issue at all until last week. I'm just worried it's going to end because of this, and I was thinking it would be foolish when we already see each other at a minimum of 1-3 times a week.

Unfortunately this has been an issue from the beginning. She's a single mother, working and going to school. Those are her priorities and her time is scarce. Are you deliberately blowing her off and breaking dates/promises so that she'll end it for you? Perhaps dating a busy single parent isn't for you and you are hoping she ends it so you don't have to.

11-08-2017

 

she told me she really hasn’t had the time to date because she’s so busy. She has a three year old kid, works three 12 hour shifts on Tuesday, Thursday and Friday as a CNA and also goes to school Monday and Wednesday. The thing I’m concerned about is if seeing her only 1-2 times a week is sufficient enough for a relationship?

So we talked two weeks ago and resolved the issue and we’re both good again, but the main issue she keeps bringing up is the fact that she’s afraid I’ll leave her when she becomes too busy when she starts nursing school next year. She mentioned today that during the summer she has to take a class which they only offer on certain days of the week, so she has to change her work schedule around to the weekends, which only gives us 1 day to see each other on her only day off which is a Sunday. This is only if I don’t work full time during the summer Monday-Friday. She said she’s afraid we won’t talk as much and will end up going our separate ways. We literally call each other everyday so I don’t see why she would think that and I even reassured her that we would find the time to see each other if we really cared about each other. Do you guys think a relationship like this would last during the summer? We both have a trip planned in August so we’re both looking forward to that, but she’s been so worried about me leaving her.