Accused my boyfriend of cheating and now he does not want to talk to me

My boyfriend and I are dating for over 3 years now. He recently took me to visit his family who live in another country. At first it was all well, untill he couldn't stop texting on his phone. He is usually on his phone but this time something was different and I couldn't get that annoying feeling out of my system. During the time we were there, we also got the devistating news that his dad has a serious illness. I never stopped being there for him or his family. It came to new years eve, when it was just 5 minutes before 12, he got a phonecall.I went over to him to hug, kiss and wish him a happy new year once it struck 12 but he pushed me away. when I finally got to wish him, I told him I love him twice before he could even say it back to me. I kissed him and he just gave me a funny face and saiid "it's so hot, dont do that now!" The next day was good untill it was time to go to bed. He told to go to bed and that he will come in the next 30 minutes. I woke up to go to the toilet and i heard him on the phone discussing issues as if he was talking to someone that didn't know everything about him. I stood at the door and listened. (I swear I heard a womens voice). I barged in, asked him who he was talking to and said "why are u hiding the fact that you are on a call? we had the whole night free and u choose now to be on a call? it was 1:30am in the morning, why is is that u can never take a call in front of me?" i stated that i heard a womans voice,( this wasn't the first time, i even saw a womans name on his phone that i hadnt seen before and he claims that it is just a group chat) he got so defensive saying that "he brought me to his house and this is how i behave and that i made such a scene and that i cant even trust him, that i'm being selfish and nagging him in his haven of peace, he said he was talking to his male cousin" it went on like that for about 30 minutes. He made me feel as if i was the wrong one yet I have not a single thing to hide, everyone has a past but that doesn't define who i am today and how loving and caring i've always been but given a chance he never lets me forget my past. A few days later he started behaving normally with me untill we got back home. He is now back with his family and he doesnt even want to take my calls. i call to find out about him and his dad but all he says is "we are fine" . I was there from the beginning, supporting him when no one was around. Apparently I made such a scene that he doesnt even want to talk to me, i must not contact him because he remembers how badly i behaved because i embarresed him infront of his sister . i have done nothing but be his support but this is how i am treated. I feel hurt especially when he has done much worse to me and i have not treated him this bad. what should i do???

Well, he is up to something and it's good that you've found out his true side finally. I always cringe a little when someone writes that their boyfriend is from another country because you can't meet their friends and their family, and it doesn't tell you about their cultural background or religion which may treat women differently or have different points of view of how a man is suppose to act. But blaming the girlfriend for something the boyfriend is a classic move. Forget this guy and move on.

I'm assuming you have low self-esteem because you want to remain with a man who you say never lets you forget your past, let alone doesn't take your calls after a 3 year relationship. Unless you're normally a paranoid person, your gut was right. His fairy tale stories of who he's been speaking to lately are outright lies, and if he was in fact on group chats, what kind of nonsense is that? He could be spending time with you or on healthy hobbies. Your standards are very low if you are wiling to live the rest of your life with someone who pushes you away when you try to kiss him, even if it was just once.

Sounds like he's already out the door. Now, you need to deadbolt it and change the locks.

This guy is a cheating scumbag and you're much better off without him. Without anyone who makes you feel bad about yourself, in fact.

As to what you should do... your first step is to gather back your self-esteem and work out for yourself what you'd really like from your life. Without him. Hopefully there will come a time when you look back and wonder what on earth you were doing with him in the first place!

Thank you all for the advice, i always try to look for an excuse to excuse what he is doing but now im just tired of it