Worried Again

I am 18 years old and can't get a job or get out of the house because my sister wrecked my mom's car and my other sister and dad use their own for work. So this gives me barely any chance to get out of the house. I did graduate, but it took s long time because of medications. Just to add some more background info.: I have bi-polar as my grandmother, cousin, sister and uncle have the same thing.

I am the only person in my family (5) to have bipolar. I was curious if anyone else experiences worry. It's not just worry for a day or a week. It's worry for months. I have a tendency to analyze and completely overthink things. I can come up with crazy scenarios right out of my head and worry that they will happen. My most recent period of worry lasted 10 months.

Before this, i worried about some scary legend that i looked up online. This lasted 7 months (2016). I was tense, felt a huge knot in my stomach and also felt depressed FOR 7 MONTHS. Now after my first period of worry the new thing came up. It was about me feeling afraid of hurting myself. This lasted for 10 months and now, for some reason, I feel scared of the first thing I worried about yet again. It came up as random anxiety, then I began to understand what it was. I knew where the feeling came from.

I'm hesitant to say it, but the legend was about a haunted doll. I was afraid if I saw his picture online I would be curesd or even worse, i was convinced that all my anxiety was a result of being haunted and that I would get posessed to the point of suicide or something.

I had a past experience, where as a young child, i had nightmares about a toy, (a flipping toy!) Coming to life and killing me. I remember i had an intense fear of that character for years because i had nightmares about it for many nights. It all came down to that one moment I saw Chucky. I actually have a fear of dolls still.

I'm sorry this is long I needed to vent, but what are these periods of worry?

I am not at all in a state where i feel like hurting myself or others. I'm just worried about this again.

Thanks for taking the time to read. I needed someone to talk to.

Transportation is on you. No one is entitled access to a car- it's a privilege and a responsibility. Bike to work. Get a job near where a friend works and try to carpool for a bit. Save some money, use Uber/Lyft. Same more money for your own vehicle.

It's not just worry for a day or a week. It's worry for months. I have a tendency to analyze and completely overthink things. I can come up with crazy scenarios right out of my head and worry that they will happen. My most recent period of worry lasted 10 months.

You need to have this under control if you expect to hold a job. Every job will have a stressful moment and you need to learn how to cope instead of beating yourself up or running away from it.

I'm hesitant to say it, but the legend was about a haunted doll. I was afraid if I saw his picture online I would be curesd or even worse, i was convinced that all my anxiety was a result of being haunted and that I would get posessed to the point of suicide or something.

You need to seek some professional help to overcome these irrational fears. Only use online to look up jobs for the time being.

I'm guessing you're extremely anxious and you should see a doctor about what you're experiencing and see what they recommend. On your own you could explore meditation and perhaps do yoga as a way of calming your mind. You can also try all the standard things like exercising, getting out in the sun for 15 minutes a day or more, drinking chamomile tea, using lavender oil, going out with friends, doing things you like such as playing music or keeping a journal. If you are truly bipolar, there is also medication and counseling you should get. The fact that you realize your anxieties are unfounded is a good start in controlling. You also need to get a job so you can get a car and be independent. Otherwise, just hang in there.

You are definitley right about the car thing. I need to do something on my own. I also need to get out of my house more often. I need a job to occupy my mind, but I will look into some of your suggestions.

Yeah. I need to tell my doctor about the anxiety. It's the one thing i didn't tell him about! I almost forgot, My next appt. Is the 18th.