Should I text him telling him how much fun I had?

Just had a fantastic evening and would definitely want to see him again.

Should I text him telling him how much fun I had? Or should I wait for him to reach out?

How did the date end? Did he say anything about a second date/meeting up again?

How did the date end? Did he say anything about a second date/meeting up again?

No he didn't but I know he had a good time...

No don't, let him text you.

If you text, it'd come off too eager imo.

Do you think he knows you had a good time? Did you express it on the date? Or are you someone who is a little hard to read?

Do you think he knows you had a good time? Did you express it on the date? Or are you someone who is a little hard to read?

I made an effort to say things like it's been really fun and the like...

Hmm. Personally, I think I'd wait for him to contact you. But I don't think there is anything wrong with sending one text to thank him/say you had a great time, in case there was any doubt in his mind.

Nah don't. Guys would still ask you out even with doubt in their minds. If you had a good idea, it's generally relatively obvious based on ur body language or your expressions. Don't chase men, at least at the start it's best to let them come to you.

Did he mention taking you out again, make another date?

ETA - looking at your posts I think you might be overly invested. Tread lightly please.

Yeah text him to say you had a good time ..all this waiting for him ..what if his mates are telling him to let you text first ...if everyone carried on like this , no one would get to date 2 .....why should the man always have to be the first ? It isn't about chasing anyone , it is about being a mature adult thanking another mature adult for a nice evening .

You should text him after a few hours

This is a guy's perspective: don't overthink it. If you like the guy, you should pursue a little. No games. The worst that happens is he rejects you for liking him: you don't want a guy like that anyway.

I made an effort to say things like it's been really fun and the like...

Then texting him is basically texting PLEASE ask me out again ASAP. So, I wouldn't. I personally would be turned off and have been turned off by being called/emailed too often when it's obviously a transparent attempt at reassurance. (didn't text at all when I dated). Give a person space to get to know you -texting is self-absorbed in this case - it's all about you wanting to test his interest level. So I wouldn't blame him if he saw it that way and was turned off. Turned off at that early stage is not something you want.

As others have said, texting him is for your reassurance. Sure, he might text you back, and then you have your reassurance! But do you have it because you reached out to him first, or would he have eventually reached out on his own? You'll never know.

That being said, I do not see an issue with sending him a "Thanks for the drinks, I really enjoyed it and hope your day is going great!" text. Even if you didn't like the guy, it's a nice thing to do. You will have your answer pretty soon after that.

I've done tons of online dating. Been on literally over 100 dates, and even married one of 'em! (divorced, whole other story). What I've learned: If the guy likes you, it doesn't matter who reaches out to who first. If the guy likes you, all the texts in the world won't matter anyway. So, I say, go ahead and text, and you'll get your answer.

I've done tons of online dating. Been on literally over 100 dates, and even married one of 'em! (divorced, whole other story). What I've learned: If the guy likes you, it doesn't matter who reaches out to who first. If the guy likes you, all the texts in the world won't matter anyway. So, I say, go ahead and text, and you'll get your answer.

As a guy who's also been on over 100 first dates, I agree with this. Women tend to run away from men they like if they show too much interest. Men tend to pursue women they like if they reciprocate that interest instead of running away. The text you're considering sending can only help you. If he doesn't ask for a follow-up date then I can pretty much guarantee it wasn't the text that drove him away.

I really wish the conventional advice for women to play not-interested and wait for the men to do everything would change. I find it refreshingly progressive when women ask me out or give me positive signs (or even negative ones) instead of leaving me in the dark. I make a note of prioritizing these women first! It's not about emasculation to me, it's about equality. If things go well then there will be plenty of opportunities for me to reciprocate later. This attitude might have more to do with growing up and entering my 30's than any kind of broader social change. In my 20's people almost seemed to get high on that "does the other person like me or not" feeling and having that mystery dispelled by mature adult communication somehow managed to kill the 'spark' or the 'chemistry'. I'm kinda done with that game now.

When women play "not interested" and don't initiate any conversation, I lose interest fast.

Sending a text is NOT "please date me!" as others have said. That's inaccurate advice. My best relationships have started with texts like that. Women with the ovaries enough to initiate conversation, send follow-up texts, and show interest are rare, and those are the women I pursue further.

When women play "not interested" and don't initiate any conversation, I lose interest fast.

 

Sending a text is NOT "please date me!" as others have said. That's inaccurate advice. My best relationships have started with texts like that. Women with the ovaries enough to initiate conversation, send follow-up texts, and show interest are rare, and those are the women I pursue further.

This is still bad advice I think.

You're saying you'd pursue a girl 'more' if she texts first. Sorry but I call BS

Texting and calling first doesn't matter, if you're interested in someone you're interested in them and if that interest is mutual you don't even notice who texts who first or how often. Like I said in another post, if I'm into someone them being up my butt is going to take a while to get annoying, but if I don't like them, they can breathe in my direction and I'm calling them annoying.

Be honest, you're saying text me first, I'll have more interest. She can text you from the parking lot of your date, if you aren't interested in her nothing in this world is going to suddenly make you interested in her. Certainly not a bunch of texts.

This crazy chick I went on a date with last night keeps texting me !

vs.

I had a great time with a chick last night and she texted me first!

The difference isn't timing or who texted who first the difference is interest so again if both parties are interested. I really and truly doesn't matter who contacts who first. And if you're overly invested ( like the OPer is) or you sense it's one sided saving ones ego is good advice cause that rejections gonna hurt just a bit more if you reach out and get brushed off or ignored.

Figureitout,

We're saying the same thing regarding mutual interest.

I didn't say text first all of the time, just having the ovaries to text first and show interest in general is what kick-starts interest on both sides.

I mentioned my personal experience with how my best relationships have started, and it isn't BS. You'll just have to trust me on that.

Figureitout,

 

We're saying the same thing regarding mutual interest.

 

I didn't say text first all of the time, just having the ovaries to text first and show interest in general is what kick-starts interest on both sides.

 

I mentioned my personal experience with how my best relationships have started, and it isn't BS. You'll just have to trust me on that.

I agree, we are saying the same thing about mutual attraction.

But in my eyes, she can have 7 lifetime supplies of ovaries, her 'texting first' is not what kickstarts interest and I think saying that gives people false hope.

'If I text first, he'll like me'

NOOOOO

If he likes you and you text first he will like you more.

If she likes you and you text first she will like you more.

If he doesn't like you and you text first, he still won't like you.

Is she doesn't like you and you text first, she still won't like you.

As a woman who texts whenever the h*ll I feel like it, you're just gonna have to trust me on this, it doesn't work on men who don't like me.

Oh, alright! I see what you are saying better now. That makes more sense. Lol at 7 lifetimes supply of ovaries. That's one heck of a woman. LOL.

If he likes you and you text first he will like you more.

 

If she likes you and you text first she will like you more.

 

If he doesn't like you and you text first, he still won't like you.

 

Is she doesn't like you and you text first, she still won't like you.

I pretty much agree with that, but I'll add these thoughts:

-> If there is mutual interest, at least one party has to message the other / follow-up for the relationship to form.

-> If one or both parties show a lack of interest (through not texting, etc.), the relationship is less likely to form.

-> The guy is also able to feel apprehensive, anxious, and self-conscious about coming across as desperate, and then not follow-up.

C: girls can and should feel welcome to text the guy first if they feel interest. The opinion that girls messaging first is always/usually viewed as desperate is wrong.

My personal opinion, added to that, is it is more attractive when a woman reaches out to follow-up, because it shows confidence and interest in me. That isn't science though, just me.

Agree pleasedonot5.

Oh, alright! I see what you are saying better now. That makes more sense. Lol at 7 lifetimes supply of ovaries. That's one heck of a woman. LOL.

 

 

 

I pretty much agree with that, but I'll add these thoughts:

 

-> If there is mutual interest, at least one party has to message the other / follow-up for the relationship to form.

-> If one or both parties show a lack of interest (through not texting, etc.), the relationship is less likely to form.

-> The guy is also able to feel apprehensive, anxious, and self-conscious about coming across as desperate, and then not follow-up.

C: girls can and should feel welcome to text the guy first if they feel interest. The opinion that girls messaging first is always/usually viewed as desperate is wrong.

 

My personal opinion, added to that, is it is more attractive when a woman reaches out to follow-up, because it shows confidence and interest in me. That isn't science though, just me.

 

Maybe because we emailed and IM'd but didn't text in the dark ages when I stopped dating (2005) but I totally disagree. Show interest on the date, try to make another plan while on the date, and follow up is to ask the person on another date if that didn't happen. There's no reason to follow up just to show interest because interest was already shown on the date. And that's where typically women tell themselves they are just texting to say "thank you" or "I had fun" when often it's taken as "please ask me out again!!" The thank you and I had fun should happen on the date. Obviously there are exceptions -if the person has to suddenly leave because her train is coming or there's an emergency and didn't get to say those things, then sure -but otherwise -show interest through actions - make a plan to get together in person and let the person get to know you at a reasonable pace in person and with occasional phone calls.

If you already thanked him, and told him you had fun while on the date, do NOT text him to thank him, and tell you had fun. Screams desperate.

This is why people are better off giving each other a tiny kiss on the lips or on the cheek. Leaves out the mystery in my eyes; seals the deal. Ugh, I'm so old, well, X-Generation old.

I've have had over a zillion boyfriends, and heaven forbid, dated before texting existed. Back then, we had these things that were corded to a wall, and we pressed buttons to call someone, and if they weren't there, we left a voice message, that wasn't some lame, "Hi" - you actually had to leave a real message. Okay, on a tangent. My point, I have never had to initiate a follow-up text or call with a guy after the first date. If a guy really wants to see you again, you will totally know because they will muster the courage to reach out to you again, and ask you out again.

I know it's the 2017, but hey, love and sex are still primal; we're still animals!

Just had a fantastic evening and would definitely want to see him again.

 

Should I text him telling him how much fun I had? Or should I wait for him to reach out?

You had a good date, but don't go overboard with the accolades. If you want to text him first, then just say that you enjoyed the evening, and would like to see him again. That's it.

Then, only text to set up the next date. Save the communications for the date itself. Also, it was only one date and he's still a stranger. Everyone is on their best behavior. Don't let him think that he has you all wrapped up.