Question!! Does the dumper often realize that she screwed up?

Does the dumper often realize that she screwed up? Especially after a three year relationship?! She has a rebound right now

You can answer it without directly answering my situation

Nobody can answer this

Yes ! Happened to me . I was dumped years ago. But depennds if the break up was a long time coming and they did everything to fix it before they left.... Or it was grass is greener syndrome.... then yes they can regret it and come back.

Why did you break up?

Break ups are not always a mistake.

She left and had another guy a week later, obviously gigs

You don't say WHY you broke up.

We had a huge fight, which led to her saying we fought too much ? But i recall us fighting ( i wouldnt even call it fighting ) about dumb

Some people don't like to fight.

No, dumpers don't always regret breaking up. The times when I have broken up with a guy, I thought about it and meant it. The relationship was truly over.

In your case, if there was another guy within a week, she was almost certainly already getting cozy with him before she ended it with you. And if there was a lot of fighting between you, she got fed up and decided to make her exit.

The thing with women is that for us to let go of something is very hard, we are very stubborn, but when a decision is made, there is no point back.. With men is different, they are cowards that let go very easily to avoid conflict and often come back to beg another chance.. Of course this depends of the situation, in your case, Im just so sorry to tell you that she was probably getting near this new guy way before she broke up with you, and probably manipulated the fight to have the reason to exit the relationship and begin a new one.. Grass is greener syndrome. Im so sorry because I can understand you, and you want her to regret her decision, beg pardon and come back to you, and it could be possible, but you have to think about you, and get better, then you can think clearly, so I recomment taking the high road and NC, and get healed, I understand this is very difficult, Im living this heartbroken hell as well, but it is the only option we have.. At the very end, if she would come back, you probably wont take her back.. Just think that what comes around goes around.. Good luck and face the pain, then its going to get only better, I promise

Ok so before you spend weeks and weeks on end googling the same question over and over.. take what I'm going to say to you right now and DO IT.

Leave her alone. She will not change her mind if you beg. I promise she won't.

She is now "dead to you" in a sense. She doesn't exist. Move on and do not contact her, it must be her idea to reconcile with you if she ever does. I'm serious when I say this, do not contact her. Give her the gift of missing you with your absolute silence. If she doesn't miss you, she wouldn't have anyway.

Forgot to add.. you should start dating others too. Don't rub it in her face, just move on as if she doesn't exist. Be honest with your dates, it doesn't have to be anything serious. You need to get out and raise your value again. Right now she has butterflies and she knows who you are, that's something you can't compete with currently. Raise your own life value back up overall in general and you'll be surprised at what and who you attract. You absolutely don't believe it right now, but you'll be surprised after you do the above things. You may not even want her back when you see you also have options and new confidence.

I don't think women do this and men do that.. every situation is different, so knobody knows what your ex is thinking. Even what your ex is currently thinking might not be what they'll think in 2 months, 6 months or a year from now.

That being said, don't worry about what she's thinking. It's time to focus completely on you.

Thanks for all your thoughts folks....especially Blades of Steel. I managed to avoid texting her. That was a close one. I'm gonna take your words to heart. I know, especially given her personality, that she's done, and already moved on. She was always able to detach quite easily, so I'm sure our breakup was no different.

Realise that it doesn't matter if they regret it. It doesn't matter how they feel and they don't matter. All that matters is you. Accept that it is likely over. No matter if they regret it do not take them back. If they have done it once before then they could hurt you again and you are worth so much more than that, things will get better for you once you free yourself of worrying about them. You're the most important one right now. What they feel is insignificant.

Thanks for all your thoughts folks....especially Blades of Steel. I managed to avoid texting her. That was a close one. I'm gonna take your words to heart. I know, especially given her personality, that she's done, and already moved on. She was always able to detach quite easily, so I'm sure our breakup was no different.

When you feel weak, read my words again.

Trust me. I've gone through this.

Welcome.

I'm in the same situation Rgr1012, did a lot of begging and pleading, fights too, and after a cold and distant last month or so of the relationship she broke up said goodbye forever. Am NC since last Thursday, and haven't heard from her since, though yesterday, I was on Facebook and got a notification that she liked one of my posts, that was just a facebook meme, and then about 30 minutes later she unliked it again. I read too much into it and I got so close to sending her a message, to me it was a sign or something. I hid everything of her from facebook, they have that option for break ups and it's the click of a button. I do not want to just delete her out of spite, as we used to have a great friendship and after years, who knows we can just talk, but other then being a face in the crowd of people I have online, I try to think of her as a memory and a ghost. That like messed with my head a bit so I adjusted the settings and restricted her from seeing any of my future posts.

Every step is hard and I feel her dying a little bit more to me, but I know it's what I have to do, cause at this point, the pain of being reminded of her presence outweighs the sadness of being reminded of her absence. I sense a similar vibe coming from you, and it's that little hope, and being slung back and forth that will destroy you from the inside, it will hurt more than giving up, trust me.

Do you want her back? Or do you want to move on? Be honest.

Do you want her back? Or do you want to move on? Be honest.

Of course if she reached out, and showed that what broke us up has changed I would seriously consider it, and I still miss her like hell... but to be honest, every day I am feeling a little more free and better, and there have been moments where I met new girls, had great conversations, and I would lie if I didn't feel something expanding in my chest...

Don't believe the myth "when a woman makes a decision", , I see women regretting their decisions all the time. I was raised by 3 of them! xD

Anyway, every BU is different and doesn't matter if it was the woman or the man that did the dumping. She can regret it now or an year from now. Or never. That shouldn't be your main goal. Your main goal right now is yourself. Learn from this experience, even if just a little, and try and move on. It will suck some days, but one day at a time.

Of course if she reached out, and showed that what broke us up has changed I would seriously consider it, and I still miss her like hell... but to be honest, every day I am feeling a little more free and better, and there have been moments where I met new girls, had great conversations, and I would lie if I didn't feel something expanding in my chest...

Stay firm Woah93...stay firm. Stick with the NC. As bladesofsteel said, you have to focus on you. Forget that she exists. When you start thinking of her, think of something else...work, friends, other girls, whatever. Assume that she's gone and is not coming back.

Work on you. Go to the gym, take a class, meet new people. Make you a better you.

We had a huge fight, which led to her saying we fought too much ? But i recall us fighting ( i wouldnt even call it fighting ) about dumb

Sounds like she broke up for a good reason. You say you were the toxic one in the relationship. I don't think she screwed up by ending the relationship and moving on.