GF snooped through Google Photos and found old nudes and sex videos

My girlfriend was at my place yesterday and while I was out, I gave her my iPad to find her iPhone which she had lost the day before. She decided to snooped through my Google Photos account and found nudes and old sex videos of previous exes. She believes I'm not over my exes. Those old pics and videos were "archived" and I had not looked at them in months. She deleted most of them. She left and we haven't spoken in the past couple days.

I guess we are broken up even though we haven't spoken. Partly because she does not have a cell phone.

I don't really miss the videos or pics she deleted. I just feel like my privacy was violated and not sure if I can continue dating her because I believe there's some deep insecurity issues for her to snoop. Although I can understand being upset to find old pictures of your SO with exes, I just think by violating my privacy is a bigger relationship issue.

She did violate your privacy, and she shouldn't have deleted those pics and vids.

I'd dump her myself if I were you. Nothing good will come out of this.

Your privacy was violated. Dump her butt.

I understand violating your privacy is wrong but on the other hand those pictures should have been deleted a long time ago. Maybe just have a talk with her and let her know that you don't like anyone violating your privacy.

^ She shouldn't be even looking at those things. And he probably kept it cos it's memories and he doesn't need to delete it. He probably doesn't even think about them much if at all on a daily basis.

She doesn't deserve a second chance. Sounds insecure.

This is his iPad and what he keeps on it is his business. If he hadn't looked at the photos and videos in a long time, then that should prove he's over his exes. If he looked at them regularly it'd be a different story. The problem I see is his gf snooped when she should not have. She had no right to dump his personal photos and videos because she didnt like them being there. It's not her decision. Major insecurity on her part.

OP you are probably better off without her.

I think she should have just asked to look through photos rather than just go ahead and snoop/delete. Personally I think a relationship should be open and honest with nothing to hide. I wouldn't mind if my boyfriend went through my photos but ONLY if he asked me first. Because i have nothing to hide. Your partner should be your best friend, no secrets. Total transparency.

And while you may not have looked through those old photos in a while, she thinks you have. She just automatically assumed you look at those regularly which is a common reaction if someone finds nudes on their partners phones.

She deffinetely violated your privacy...

But man that's a lesson to be careful about nudes and videos. I would assume once a couple broke up all that got deleted. I mean why would you want to watch yourself have sex with your ex? I know it's stupid, but I think that would annoy me. we broke up,you don't get to see me naked anymore! I may be overthinking this...😂

But back to the point... yeah she deffinetely violated your privacy.

Dump her sorry , nosey , interring ass , this is too close to home for me , and my ex put me through a dirty living hell for months and months .If I had my time again I would be showing him the door , maybe I wouldn't be the mess I am now if I had .

Thanks for the input everyone. Yeah, I definitely should've deleted those pictures and videos along time ago because of the liability of being hacked or something. I think I just kept them for nostalgia and reminding me of some "good times" I had with the ex. I just thought archiving them was like putting old pictures into a shoebox that you stuffed deep into the closet or under your bed was good enough. Like I said, I don't really miss those pics since I was there. So losing the pics aren't really a big deal to me. I'm just glad she didn't delete all my pics. That would be messed up.

The invasion of privacy part is the biggest concern. I think it just reflects her need for validation and being insecure. I haven't given her any reason to think I was cheating. I want to see if this is something that can be worked on together but I don't know if it can because she may need to work on that herself.

I don't delete my naked pics. I am not in a relationship... I suppose if I were in a long term thing I would delete them. People say you are supposed to delete them.

I saw someone's pic on a bf's phone once, years ago. He and I are friends. I called him out on it only recently, "I don't like her, her pic was on your phone BITD" (as if that is logical). I hadn't snooped, it was visible as he was looking for something. Of course he had no clue what i was talking about.

I feel a bit like deleting pics is like being the thought police. Nobody wants to know you have them, but then, we don't want to know what you think about either.

Concluding - pics are in the gray zone -- okay to keep or must be deleted, on a case by case basis, and in any event, must always be kept private. Her snooping was wrong; you should have had them under a passkey so that snooping would have been impossible. That said, the way files replicate, I can't say I am 100% certain I am 100% protected.

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Your gf was wrong to delete your files, same as she would have been wrong to throw away something that belongs to you. Violation of a boundary that you own and that she would be correct to respect.

Hello, I am actually dealing with this exact same situation, but I am the one who went through my boyfreinds phone and found old pictures on his google account and am confused on what to do. My situation is my boyfriend cheated on me with an ex girlfriend 2 months ago. I recently went through his phone and saw that it was linked to his google account. He had 100's of pictures and videos and me being nosy I went through them and he had a few sex videos with the ex he just cheated on me with. Its from 2014 so I feel like I cant get mad and I didnt delete them or say anthing, but having a visual of him having sex with the person he cheated on me with is tearing me apart. I wish I didnt see it but actually seeing them have sex makes me question if I should have even forgiven him. Soooo I am open to your advice. lol but in regards to your situation I can see why you feel violated I think the big issue is her just deleting them, I am not sure how long you guys have been together, But if you gave her no reasons to question your loyalty I am sure there will be lots mopre snooping around in your relationship.

Hello, I am actually dealing with this exact same situation, but I am the one who went through my boyfreinds phone and found old pictures on his google account and am confused on what to do. My situation is my boyfriend cheated on me with an ex girlfriend 2 months ago. I recently went through his phone and saw that it was linked to his google account. He had 100's of pictures and videos and me being nosy I went through them and he had a few sex videos with the ex he just cheated on me with. Its from 2014 so I feel like I cant get mad and I didnt delete them or say anthing, but having a visual of him having sex with the person he cheated on me with is tearing me apart. I wish I didnt see it but actually seeing them have sex makes me question if I should have even forgiven him. Soooo I am open to your advice. lol but in regards to your situation I can see why you feel violated I think the big issue is her just deleting them, I am not sure how long you guys have been together, But if you gave her no reasons to question your loyalty I am sure there will be lots mopre snooping around in your relationship.

Onelove I do not want to derail the OP's thread but it may be relevant:

(1) Forget what you did; it isn't relevant to your current situation.

(2) Your bf was with his ex two months ago. Either you accept that and move forward, or you don't and end it. Any other snooping or obsessing is a way of you putting off the decision you have to make.

Thanks for the input everyone. Yeah, I definitely should've deleted those pictures and videos along time ago because of the liability of being hacked or something. I think I just kept them for nostalgia and reminding me of some "good times" I had with the ex. I just thought archiving them was like putting old pictures into a shoebox that you stuffed deep into the closet or under your bed was good enough. Like I said, I don't really miss those pics since I was there. So losing the pics aren't really a big deal to me. I'm just glad she didn't delete all my pics. That would be messed up.

 

The invasion of privacy part is the biggest concern. I think it just reflects her need for validation and being insecure. I haven't given her any reason to think I was cheating. I want to see if this is something that can be worked on together but I don't know if it can because she may need to work on that herself.

Ok let's not start with the overanalyzing. It could easily be her on here asking why her boyfriend is keeping photos as well as sex videos of his ex. She was wrong for snooping, she was wrong for deleting them, decide what you want to do with those facts, especially if you're hoping to salvage the relationship. All this overanalysis looks like deflection to me, why do you need to be 'reminded' of 'good times' with an ex? They're exes for a reason... you should be making new memories in your new relationship.

I haven't decided if I want to break it off or try to work it out. Just on here to get some feedback before deciding what to do, maybe get some different perspectives. I know it's ultimately my choice.

I'm not really sure what is being deflected? Maybe I'm missing something?

Regarding the photos, I realize now I don't "need" them which was why they were just archived long ago. I just let those photos sit in the account. There's not really too much thought on my end as to why I still have them. They're still in the account like I still have old screenshots of conversations, I have memes that I thought were funny, some are just pics of receipts for business expenses. There's just all kinds of pictures in there.

I don't see how much different it is if I were to write about the details of great sex with an ex into a diary or personal journal. Is a hand written journal entry that much different than a photo journal in terms of why and how people keep memories?

I haven't decided if I want to break it off or try to work it out. Just on here to get some feedback before deciding what to do, maybe get some different perspectives. I know it's ultimately my choice.

 

I'm not really sure what is being deflected? Maybe I'm missing something?

 

Regarding the photos, I realize now I don't "need" them which was why they were just archived long ago. I just let those photos sit in the account. There's not really too much thought on my end as to why I still have them. They're still in the account like I still have old screenshots of conversations, I have memes that I thought were funny, some are just pics of receipts for business expenses. There's just all kinds of pictures in there.

 

 

I don't see how much different it is if I were to write about the details of great sex with an ex into a diary or personal journal. Is a hand written journal entry that much different than a photo journal in terms of why and how people keep memories?

I agree with you. It's not a huge deal to me that you have them. She put herself in the position of seeing them. You are in the clear, in my book.

At the same time, she has seen them, it hurts, she is expressing that in whatever manner and she will never unsee what she saw. Her feelings are real.

Would I get over the boundary busting behavior? No. I'd take greater precautions to protect my privacy, because you each remain individuals and privacy is important. I would wonder how else she might lash out. I would need context, and I would want her to be curious about her own behavior and to take responsibility for it.

I probably wouldn't break up; I can see why she wandered over there given the situation. If she were angry and continuously on the offensive against me, I might very well end it.

I haven't decided if I want to break it off or try to work it out. Just on here to get some feedback before deciding what to do, maybe get some different perspectives. I know it's ultimately my choice.

 

I'm not really sure what is being deflected? Maybe I'm missing something?

 

Regarding the photos, I realize now I don't "need" them which was why they were just archived long ago. I just let those photos sit in the account. There's not really too much thought on my end as to why I still have them. They're still in the account like I still have old screenshots of conversations, I have memes that I thought were funny, some are just pics of receipts for business expenses. There's just all kinds of pictures in there.

 

 

I don't see how much different it is if I were to write about the details of great sex with an ex into a diary or personal journal. Is a hand written journal entry that much different than a photo journal in terms of why and how people keep memories?

The difference is your current girlfriend saw it. In live time. She's wrong, no doubt about that, but I don't know how I'd react to seeing the dude I'm dating bending someone else over.

What I just did in my response to you was doing what you're trying to do to her, analyzing with no concrete facts. If you want to break up with her because she betrayed your trust, ok, but you don't know for a fact 'why' she did what she did. It could be she's insecure or needs validation, it could be, unbeknownst to you, she's getting a vibe that pushed her to snoop. It's not right, not saying it is, but neither is labelling someone. Until you talk to her, you aren't gonna know why she did what she did.

Hey, you never know, she may want to end it after seeing what she saw. I'm sure it's not something easily unseen. She did it to herself though, so she has the consequences of her actions burned into her brain.