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Thread: "Are you sure about reconnecting?"

  1. #21
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    Originally Posted by MUrmillo
    Hmm then I would probably give her the vibe that I am here waiting for her which would be a turn off for her.

    How about: 'I understand, I just hope to see you one day'
    And now you don't mind if she knows you're still thinking about her?

    I'm once again confused.

  2. #22
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    Originally Posted by No1
    OMG!! You are thinking way too much.

    It is over... let her go.

    Have you thought what your actions are doing to this poor girl?

    She doesnt want to be with you, by calling her, sending her emails or whatever is only opening the wounds that you left. Remember that YOU didnt want her. You wanted to keep her at a distance, YOU wanted things YOUR way. You were selfish and she left and look, you still are being selfish by asking her questions and wanting to see her. You are being selfish.

    You two have been broken up for over a year. If she wanted back with you, she would of told you. All you are doing is continuing to hurt her with every word you say to her. Knock it off. Think of her and let her go.

    I appreciate your response but I have to say something. I think that the image you have of the relationship between me and her that is too black and white. This might be due to me not describing it well enough though.

    Even though my posts on this forum can come of as pathetic and needy, this is not how I communicate to her. This forum is my place to go when I feel vulnerable. The last time I initiated a conversation with her was last October (leaving out her birthday which was a few months ago). The last time I mentioned anything relationship related is probably one year ago.

    Ever since, she has always been the one to reach out to me. Two times when I did not reply after a few days on messenger she wrote me a whatsapp message if everything was fine. She has also mentioned (without me asking) a few months ago that she would want to come to the city where I live atm since she has never been there. I did not ask her to meet up right away because I wanted more 'proof'' of her being ready because I know her, and she would never DIRECTLY mention this.
    Two weeks ago she told me her cat had died and I told her my grandmother had died. She told me that 'she had a fullfilling life with an amazing grandson'. Right after this she asked if I had any plans for the summer and I misjudged this as her indirect way of maybe telling that she was ready.

    Yes I pushed her away when we were together but I also did a lot of things for her. Even one month after the break up she mentioned that it was the best relationship she ever had.

    I hope this gives a more accurate image. No offence btw

  3. #23
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    Originally Posted by boltnrun
    And now you don't mind if she knows you're still thinking about her?

    I'm once again confused.
    I think there is a difference between knowing that I still think about her and care for her VS NEEDING her and waiting for her

  4. #24
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    Originally Posted by MissCanuck
    Then just go ahead and send it, OP.


    Do you even know if she's maybe seeing someone else?
    Not 100% sure but based on her social media behavior and how she talked to me the last months I don't think so.

  5.  

  6. #25
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    I think there is a difference between knowing that I still think about her and care for her VS NEEDING her and waiting for her
    But that's how your letter comes across, my friend.

  7. #26
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    Originally Posted by MUrmillo
    Not 100% sure but based on her social media behavior and how she talked to me the last months I don't think so.
    That doesn't necessarily mean anything.

    I've been with my man for 2.5 years, but for reasons related to our jobs, we do not post about our relationship on any social media platform. She could, if she wants, also filter which posts you see. I'm not saying that she is definitely seeing someone else, but just a reminder that social media is not the best indicator of one's personal life.

  8. #27
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    Lets go back a little bit..
    In march, you posted a topic based on talking to her about meeting up.
    This is what you wrote in December of 2016
    I wanted to send my ex's mom a text just to wish her a happy Christmas but I don't know if it is a good idea given my current situation
    I just wanted to text her mom beause I really liked her and never got the chance to say goodbye. Just a message along the lines of 'Hi (...) I hope you have a wonderful X-mas and a happy New Year, Best (...)'
    - I did not contact her for 2 weeks and then wrote her a apology letter for my behavior.
    - I took a break from contacting her till may when she had her birthday and even sent her a gift.


    You are going to do what you want to do. I mentioned that in previous posts that I think you are being selfish. You wanted things your way, and you still want them your way with no thinking of what you are doing to her. You neglected her to the point that she had to leave you.
    It doesnt matter if she reaches out to you. You have to be the bigger person to let her go. Again, you are going to do what you want to do.

    Eventually she will find someone and its going to devistate you and you are going to get mad with her because you never ended it in your mind. You keep thinking there is a chance as long as we talk. Its been over a year and you asked her about seeing you and she said no. I personally think she doesnt want to hurt you by being nice so please, just take her hints and leave her be. Think of her feelings.

  9. #28
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    Originally Posted by MissCanuck
    That doesn't necessarily mean anything.

    I've been with my man for 2.5 years, but for reasons related to our jobs, we do not post about our relationship on any social media platform. She could, if she wants, also filter which posts you see. I'm not saying that she is definitely seeing someone else, but just a reminder that social media is not the best indicator of one's personal life.
    I know, but it is the only one that I have.

    My gut feeling tells me this... She maybe was seeing someone last summer. Only reason I have to think this was that she uploaded a picture on a beach looking pretty with no girlfriends in the picture. Unless her new lover has no facebook at all I think the odds are in my favor.
    She would also not contact me that 'much' if she was in a new relationship because that is not how she is. She would then probably also not say that she needs more time...

    Again, this is just me overthinking and mayb wishful thinking. I simply don't know 100%

  10. #29
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    Originally Posted by No1
    Lets go back a little bit..
    In march, you posted a topic based on talking to her about meeting up.
    This is what you wrote in December of 2016
    I wanted to send my ex's mom a text just to wish her a happy Christmas but I don't know if it is a good idea given my current situation
    I just wanted to text her mom beause I really liked her and never got the chance to say goodbye. Just a message along the lines of 'Hi (...) I hope you have a wonderful X-mas and a happy New Year, Best (...)'
    - I did not contact her for 2 weeks and then wrote her a apology letter for my behavior.
    - I took a break from contacting her till may when she had her birthday and even sent her a gift.


    You are going to do what you want to do. I mentioned that in previous posts that I think you are being selfish. You wanted things your way, and you still want them your way with no thinking of what you are doing to her. You neglected her to the point that she had to leave you.
    It doesnt matter if she reaches out to you. You have to be the bigger person to let her go. Again, you are going to do what you want to do.

    Eventually she will find someone and its going to devistate you and you are going to get mad with her because you never ended it in your mind. You keep thinking there is a chance as long as we talk. Its been over a year and you asked her about seeing you and she said no. I personally think she doesnt want to hurt you by being nice so please, just take her hints and leave her be. Think of her feelings.
    That was not 2017, that was 2016. Sent that letter around 3 months after the BU and the present I sent one month after that.
    I never wrote her mom in the end btw.

    The topic I made in march I made when she started talking about visiting the city I live in (if I remember correctly)

  11. #30
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    Originally Posted by MUrmillo
    That was not 2017, that was 2016. Sent that letter around 3 months after the BU and the present I sent one month after that.
    I never wrote her mom in the end btw.

    The topic I made in march I made when she started talking about visiting the city I live in (if I remember correctly)
    Look at your post you made on 12/5/16

    Anyway.. it doesnt matter.. none of it matters. It is over. She does not want to be with you. You had your chance. Let her go.

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