Should I contact my ex for him to get his stuff back? NC 10 days

Hello guys,

You've probably seen my thread about my ex not texting me back after break up, etc. I broke up and don't wanna get back although I'm still hurting.

I'm left with a big Levis jacket of his and it's been 10 days.

I've put it somewhere I can't see a few days ago, but I know I'm going to have to give it to him at some point and I feel like it's preventing me from healing.

Should I contact him although he didn't respond? We ended up breaking up by text. My pride tells me no, but at the same time I wanna get it over with. I'm starting an internship in a few weeks and I don't want to have this bothering me. It's in my head.

What do you honestly think?

Thank you.

When I broke up with ex who physically abused me, I threw all of his things in a big dustbin outside my house. Felt great. Felt like I had started to properly move on and also you don't have to see them again which may also sabotage your healing..

I recommend throwing it in the trash

Good luck xxx

Lol, thank you for your answer haha. We are not on bad terms so I don't want to do that. He was never abusive or anything to me, he did break my heart, but I don't think it would be fair for me to treat him this way

I just don't want to have "a piece of him" near me anymore

I don't know what to do.

if he has not responded in a few days then I would bin or throw it up in your atic or basement or something. Somewhere where you won't see it.

Mail it back to him.

Or send him a simple text to tell him you are leaving his jacket folded next to your back door/in a bag behind the planter on your front porch. you are not home x to x time during the day or x nights.

Or send a friend up to his work and leave it at the front desk for him.

Thank you for your advice.

I live in a flat and I can't have him come, I live with my mom who's there all the time and she's very religious, she doesn't even know we dated (I'm 20).

I think I will wait a few weeks, and shoot him a text to come take it.

If he doesn't answer, I'll throw it.

I just really don't want to text him because he didn't even OPEN my text messages when we broke up. I checked (FB) and he never did.

I don't want to be chasing him you know ? at the same time I feel it's unfair for him to "burden" me with that.

I wish he would take his responsibilities.

Would you text someone who didn't even bother open your goodbye message - let alone respond - and it's been 10 days?

Do you have a mutual friend you can give it to?

I do but they'd prefer to not get involve and I understand. We share the same close circle and in the past involving them has caused a lot of drama so I can't do that...

You broke up with him by text... he is probably upset and doesn't want to open a message from you.

I do but they'd prefer to not get involve and I understand. We share the same close circle and in the past involving them has caused a lot of drama so I can't do that...

Don't understand. They know you have broken up. Seems like an easy solution to me.

I understand. Actually, we were on the phone for 2 hours and he told me he "wasn't seing a future right now", and told me to text him my decision. I texted him a few hours later "If you're willing to invest 100%, I'm willing to stay. If not, it won't work out." He answered "I really don't think I can do this right now after all that happened." I then told him "Then it's not going to work" and he said "yes". After that I told him " OK, I still have your stuff at my house, you can pick them up when you want. I think otherwise it's better if we don't talk. I wish you all the best and happiness and that's when he didn't open.

Do you think I was too harsh? I don't really feel like I "broke up with him", but more like we agreed, especially since on the phone I was trying to make it work and all he kept saying is "I'm really not sure I want to do this".

Do you think he's mad at me? I'm so confused...

No. Why would he be mad at you? If he is not committed, there is nothing you can do.

This is very clear "I really don't think I can do this right now after all that happened." He ended the relationship. He then said "yes" to it being over.

You should have set a day for him to pick it up.

I wanted to set a date, but he didn't open my message... I feel like I'm going around in circles. I'm so exhausted of having to take care of everything and him not doing a thing.

I just want to move on peacefulmy and he's not letting me do that

I wanted to set a date, but he didn't open my message... I feel like I'm going around in circles. I'm so exhausted of having to take care of everything and him not doing a thing

Then just give it to a mutual friend. You are making this much more difficult than it needs to be.

I misunderstood your original post.. you didn't do anything wrong, in fact he declined to work in things so it's more on him.

Text him and if he doesn't reply just get rid of it.

Unfortunately they don't want to so I don't have that option. I can't force them.

But you're right, I'm making this too complicated. Maybe I'm not being honest with myself and this is really a subconscious attempt to get a reaction out of him.

I won't contact him.

I'll wait for a month, text him if he hasn't, and if he doesn't answer I'll just throw it away. I shouldn't be chasing him to give him HIS clothes. It's ridiculous

Just mail it back to him, and it will be finished.

Good luck.

That's a good idea. Thank you for your support guys

OK, I still have your stuff at my house, you can pick them up when you want. I think otherwise it's better if we don't talk. I wish you all the best and happiness "

Then let him contact you because that is what you told him to do. Just give it some time.

Also, how do you explain a man's jacket at the house if your mom thinks you aren't dating anyone. And also, you claim he wasn't committed - but you weren't either because you were hiding the relationship from a parent who lives with you. You didn't even introduce him as a friend/study partner/classmate at all to slowly introduce him.

I agree with the first part of your message, I need to let him contact me.

Regarding the jacket, I told her that was a girlfriend's jacket, as it's a denim unisex jacket. It's just really big so she believed me, although I don't see how it is relevant to the issue at stake?

And I'm really sorry, but who are you to judge my "lack of commitment", and on what basis? You have no idea what you're talking about. I come from a very strict family, if my mom knew I was dating him, she would have kicked me out of our home.

I had no choice, and STILL, I invited my ex to come for dinner and introduce him as a friend, but he refused to because he was scared that it would show, he thought that it would be obvious we were a couple.

So I appreciate your comment but please, keep any judgement that isn't relevant to yourself, especially when it's based on a false presumption. I don't think that's appropriate, nor justified by any means. I loved him very deeply and was very committed to him, so please respect that. Thank you.