Nightmare - I'm not strong enough now

So I posted earlier this week about the LDR I was in. I had bought a flight to see him - after he confirmed he wanted me to - two weeks ago. (For background, he asked to break up in April, we did, then he begged for me back a month later and I said I needed time to think about it. We talked from then onwards until about 10 days ago).

He told me he'd like to see me in London when I was there, and I asked if he wanted me to stay with him. That's when he dropped the bomb: "To be honest with you I have fallen in love with another girl. The last ten days pretty much confirmed it for me. I'm sorry."

I had NO idea....

I told him he hurt me and to never contact me again. Then I blocked him on everything.

I just can't believe it - I read all this at work and I can't breathe. I have no idea what to do with myself and my thoughts are messed up. Someone please help - it really hurts. We travelled together and he was a breath of fresh air compared to my past romantic encounters. However he had many flaws but I still loved him....

I know I'll get over this, but I don't think I'm strong enough right now.

Sorry to hear this but that's what 'breaks' often mean. At least you have closure and can move on. Good you blocked him.

He told me he'd like to see me in London when I was there, and I asked if he wanted me to stay with him. That's when he dropped the bomb: "To be honest with you I have fallen in love with another girl. The last ten days pretty much confirmed it for me. I'm sorry."

What a jerk!! I am so sorry I had something similar happen, so I know how horribly painful this is.

I don't think I'm processing it but I can already forsee myself not handling this well/internalizing a lot of the pain - how could he do this?

What your feeling is your bodies defense mechanism kicking in. Your going threw pain and withdrawal, all at once and all of a sudden. It hurts, and will hurt for awhile. Saying move on to you seems very irrelevant right now. In time yes you will need to try. But right now its much to fresh to hear that. My advice is take things one min at a time. One min will become two, two will become three ect. Now is your grieving time, so do just that. Cry if you need to, scream, but try not to do anything destructive. I know your head is spinning. All normal, and it sucks. We can all say go NC but being so raw that will be very hard to do. Altho you are off to a good start considering your circumstances. You will get threw this with time..and altho its a hard pill to swallow, time is the best medicine at this point...keep swimming forward.

*Jedi huuuuuugs* Still hurts. But you've learnt he isn't one of your people. That is ok. Grieve and then walk away. (And you don't have to internalise that pain. Post here, tell your close friends/family, write angsty poetry and go to a poetry slam where you can express out loud your hurt, and maybe meet some cool people to boot).

Adding my voice to the chorus of good job deleted and blocked, good riddance!

It sounds like things have been shaky for months but he called it 'breaks', rather than breaking up outright. That's probably when he began seeing her.

I'm having issues with my LDR boyfriend. We were doing really well until about April when he said he didnt think he could do the distance and needed a break.

I'm guessing that's true as well....I don't want to think about it/the other girl/etc.

I don't think I can go on right now though. I feel like shutting myself down in my room in the dark and just staying there.

You'll get over it...... every day is a new day, every day will get better, little by little.

Does anybody have any similar experiences and how they dealt with it? I just still cant believe this is happening.

You have every right to cry. You can let it out. We all have been there, and alot of us still are. Take the time needed to sort out your emotions. I can tell you i actually missed work a few times after my breakup. Luckily they understood enough to work with me. They knew what happened and what was going on. Its been 4 months and im just starting to come out of it, going out, hanging out ect. At first i slept all day, weekends included. I didnt want to do anything. I felt rejected, i was to a certain extent. It hurt my selfesteem and my pride. I tried to get back and make peace..getting back didnt happen. But im slowly finding peace. I dont wish my ex anyharm. And i took the high road,no angry emails or texts to him, i left hurt but on good terms considering it all. But like you behind closed doors i hurt bad. Your a beautiful person, your hurting because you cared. Theres nothing wrong with that.

There is no easy way to get through heartache unfortunately, you just have to face it head on. You've already made a really wise move by blocking all forms of communication with him. There is absolutely nothing he could say that will alleviate your pain, remember that. Any contact at this point will only make you feel worse. Sorry.

Does anybody have any similar experiences and how they dealt with it? I just still cant believe this is happening.

To make a long story short: I was on and off with my recent ex for 2 years, the final 5-6 months of which were long-distance because he moved away. He kept promising me he would come get me and move me in with him. I finally gave him an ultimatum because he kept putting it off. He kept saying he was definitely coming, until a few days before the date. Then when I pinned him down, he said he wasn't. He said he had met some girl, even though he was in love with me. So I ended it right there. He tried calling consistently for another few weeks and I ignored his calls, only answering once. Then he quit calling, and now he's with her.

It killed me, and it still really hurts. It's been about 2 months or so of NC. I was majorly depressed for weeks, crying all the time. It's finally gotten just a little bit better. My only words of advice are:

1) Just let yourself feel the pain. There's no way around that. It's gonna take some time to heal.

2) Post here as much as you need. It really helped me to have this outlet. I started a journal on here, and had some wonderful folks commenting and helping me make sense of it all and keeping me sane.

3) Don't answer if he calls. I'd he does call, it's most likely only because he's confused about her and he's turning to you for comfort, or he's feeling guilty. Just ignore him.

4) Don't social media stalk. I did a ton of it, and learned all about the new girl. It just made me really angry, and put her image in my head, and has delayed my healing. It's been like an addiction that's been extremely hard to break. So don't even start. You'll be better off.

I read the London part and my heart stopped. This sounds like my ex who dumped me a month ago who is also from London and who also called off plans after I had already purchased tickets/accommodations, but for him to come to the States! Either we are talking about the same guy, or there are at least two incredibly inconsiderate guys in London who like making girls buy tickets and dumping them.

That's horrible

I'm still trying to process everything and it hurts a lot still when I think about it. I've been distracting myself with movies and resting for now. Anytime I even dwell on it a little bit I think about how happy he must have been to finally be able to be with her. That kills me

I hope I will be able to start moving on soon. Hope you are ok as well xx