Stalking on Facebook and confusing msgs

Hi I would like to know if I've got a chance of regaining my relationship with my current ex, I miss her dearly.

I spoke to her 5 weeks after we broke and she ended up saying we didn't get on etc, I asked her if she could block me on Facebook so I couldn't check her page if I got the urge and she said ok I will and I left the door open saying I'm here if you ever wanna talk and that I love her. Either way I left it and the next day got a msg saying that I've made my bed by saying I was getting with someone else even tho it was more of a yes we can try it out but into that day I changed my mind as I knew it wouldn't work for me. My ex explained she still loved me and always would but that she still hates me right now and it's been hard everyday and asked me to not contact her which I abided by for her. Anyway it's been a week now and she has not blocked me on Facebook!?

I'm wondering if she's still angry and not sure what she wants yet? And that she's keeping tabs on my Facebook which I have no problem with but just to see if I prove her right or wrong in something?

Even though they say you shouldn't read into things with her she is that kind of person. Shes the kind that will put a front on through text when she's with people but then do something sly that I would know was her saying the opposite as a sly sign for me against the people she's around.

What I'm asking is, is am I being stalked and do I still have a chance if I play by no contact and leave her to her own space time and thought?

You need to block her from your social media and reset your privacy settings. Patrolling each other on fb is not a recipe for reconciliation. Don't "leave doors open". Go no contact.

I've made my bed by saying I was getting with someone else. she still hates me right now

I asked her if she could block me on Facebook so I couldn't check her page if I got the urge and she said ok

I know it's hard not to check on your own, so i'm guessing that's why you asked her to block you, but you should block her, even if it means you will be unblocking her and blocking her again and again.

ven though they say you shouldn't read into things with her she is that kind of person. Shes the kind that will put a front on through text when she's with people but then do something sly that I would know was her saying the opposite as a sly sign for me against the people she's around.

Don't read into things, ESPECIALLY if she is that kind of person! If she wants something she knows where to find you. She could just ask and not play games.

What I'm asking is, is am I being stalked and do I still have a chance if I play by no contact and leave her to her own space time and thought?

Going NC is a win-win situation. It ALWAYS helps. First and most importantly, it allows you to heal. Second, it does give both time apart to sort their thoughts out. Everyone needs this time. Third, and i am living this as we speak, it gives the dumpee power. In your case, even if you were the dumper if i read correctly, it gives you your power back. After a break up , the one who initiated it has control over it. The dumpee can't control pretty much anything but their own feelings. edit to add: They achieve this with NC. In your case i think you tried to get back together and she declined? That makes you the dumpee in the second round.

Fourth , and this is the last thing you should expect when going NC, the other person MIGHT come back. This may happen because of the space they were given to think things through. If during the time of NC both of you did some healing and realized that you want to give it another chance, it may happen.

I love NC, it has so many aspects.

So to answer your question, yes go NC and block her from FB.

Regarding fb games, she could be hoping you are looking at her pics, which she is hoping feel like salt in your wounds. Guessing at others' motivations is a never ending maze of mirrors.

Force all of your actions and thoughts to be consistent. Block and NC.

You see I read alot on NC and wasn't sure if it was just something played on by people or whether it was a fact I mean I know they say once you move on is when they come running back, or when you least expect it is when you get that daunting msg come through from an ex. But does it really work wonders I mean I know alot of the time girls just need their space to think and get over their emotions and reset themselves but is that really what it can achieve?

What makes you believe that playing head games, facebook games, etc. will lead to reconciliation? Hasn't she told you "she hates you"?

I know they say once you move on is when they come running back

IThinkICan that's what I thought until I realised she's not posting anything, it's all very strange, everyone who knows her know she does things on the spur of the moment then realises I just don't want her if she does come back to be for the wrong reasons like the idea of if you love someone let them go if they come back they are yours forever if not they were never yours, that's a good reason but if it's for an ulterior motive it's like that

Yeah she said she will always love me but that doesn't mean to say I don't hate you right now, I don't want the games I just want some sort of happiness

So how is this fb nonsense helping that? Do you want to get back together or just keep doing what your doing in fb limbo and guessing games?

I don't want the games I just want some sort of happiness

No contact does NOT mean a ploy to see if someone will "come running back". NC means what it says: it is for the person to heal and move on with his or her life.

So how is this fb nonsense helping that? Do you want to get back together or just keep doing what your doing in fb limbo and guessing games?

Hmm interesting! In what way can I get her back?

No contact does NOT mean a ploy to see if someone will "come running back". NC means what it says: it is for the person to heal and move on with his or her life.

And one thing I wanted to know is people put time frames on NC what is the answer to the time frame of this?

There is no time frame in NC. Different for each individual. As long as it takes......

Stop annoying her, stalking her fb, texting her. Lay back, cool off. She's not receptive right now.

Hmm interesting! In what way can I get her back?

And one thing I wanted to know is people put time frames on NC what is the answer to the time frame of this?

Basically NC ends when you no longer have the urge to contact. I know, it's cruel, but you will understand why in time.

I think you've been reading too many articles about "how to get your ex back by using the NC rule." I started NC without even knowing it was the golden rule of healing. This should say a lot about how normal it should be. All of us should take the NC road instinctively after a break up. So after my decision, i googled "how to get him back", etc, i think most of us have done that, and saw that every "expert" was suggesting NC.

It may help as i mentioned above. If this aspect of NC helps you get into NC, then go for it. Heal yourself of the break up with NC and everything will fall in place, i promise!

Stop annoying her, stalking her fb, texting her. Lay back, cool off. She's not receptive right now.

And how will I know when she's receptive? And I get stepping back don't wanna look like the creepy stalker and loose the attraction to being a weirdo. But how will I know?

Sorry for the seemingly dumb questions I'm not very good at this stuff

It's understandably harsh but I know it's tough for me... And because of our history I always refer back to that to find answers for now. I just love her so much nd it's not just a random person saying they love someone I see my life with her and want to grow old with her and die with her I want it all with her she is the one for me inspite of her faults and imperfections and even those I can find the love in

You see I read alot on NC and wasn't sure if it was just something played on by people or whether it was a fact I mean I know they say once you move on is when they come running back, or when you least expect it is when you get that daunting msg come through from an ex. But does it really work wonders I mean I know alot of the time girls just need their space to think and get over their emotions and reset themselves but is that really what it can achieve?

This is the point: you control only yourself. So, you have to accept that others may not behave as you wish, and you have to think in terms of what's best for you.

She might come back to you.

For that to happen, you have to be gone. If there is any contact at all, you're not gone. If your mind is still wrapped up in thoughts of her, you're not gone. If you're mind is wrapped up in her, you're a liability to yourself because you'll run into her, or reach out to her, and then you will prove to her that you were never gone.

Sometimes people need to CHOOSE you, and to choose you, they need to get away from the energy of you choosing them. It can be hard to know the difference, when someone is pursuing you.

So STOP. All contact is noise. She needs quiet. All contact is an investment of you, in a stock that has a very very high likelihood of failing. Invest yourself as you would your money - in something that provides returns to you, not in something that already has failed twice.

If she recovers and adds value to you, then you can reevaluate. That hasn't happened. By the time it does, IF it does, you may not want her anymore. And, that's ok.

What was the fight/break-up about? Did you cheat?. What are her faults and imperfections?

she is the one for me inspite of her faults and imperfections

What was the fight/break-up about? Did you cheat?. What are her faults and imperfections?

No definitely not wiseman I'm not one to do that ever and she knows that!! It's happened to her before tho with exes, I mean her family and friends know she can be quite crazy if she gets a bee in her bonnet, it was just really we were going through a rough patch and I needed time apart just to recover from a tough month, and I explained I didn't want to be in a relationship right now which she understood but she then said she didn't want to talk to me again and started blocking me on stuff but I called her the next morning to wish her luck for her new job which she took graciously, and then later on explained she thought it was best we went our separate ways for good!!!? !? But I accepted it for her and left it and my emotions got the better of me and I started asking her to delete my number and she wouldn't and I then started talking to someone while we had broken up and told her to delete my number as I was getting with someone else as a friend had recommended me getting out there again to help recover and then after a day I thought it wouldn't work for me and won't help me get over like most guys can... But by this point she was upset as she thinks by me being with someone for a day means I slept with them etc which I did not and I could stand up in court to that!

Her faults are as most people have. She can be quite selfish and quite aggressive in time for anger. And doesn't think when she does certain things and says certain things can be quite hot headed. Very indecisive Aswell but in general she is a lovely person and I understand her downfalls as I had similar growing up difference was I constantly had people in my ear and telling me what I was doing wouldn't help. Shes loving and caring, funny and extremely friendly but I love her for it all its what makes her her and I know her past relationships were quite intense with aggression and cheating and violence and her family and myself know that. I've never not wanted to support her and help her

So you wanted a break and she didn't buy it and broke up? Do you blame her after how 'your emotions got away from you" and how you treated her? If you need breaks to play with other girls and she pulled the plug...You've got a lot of work ahead of you to even attempt to get her back. You can't treat people like crap, then say "oops, now I love you".

I needed time apart and I explained I didn't want to be in a relationship right now. I started asking her to delete my number. I then started talking to someone

So you wanted a break and she didn't buy it and broke up? Do you blame her after how 'your emotions got away from you" and how you treated her? If you need breaks to play with other girls and she pulled the plug...You've got a lot of work ahead of you to even attempt to get her back. You can't treat people like crap, then say "oops, now I love you".

I definitely don't play maybe that came out wrong, I was struggling and a friend recommended an idea of moving on by getting out there and finding another partner I don't like sleeping around not my kind of thing