Is messaging this girl on Facebook creepy?

There is this girl who keeps popping up on my newsfeed since we have some mutual friends, and I think she is really pretty. I would not usually want to randomly message a stranger, but she goes to a different high school, so its not very likely that we will ever see each other randomly. I'm not very close with the mutual friends that we share either. The last resort I have is to message her over Facebook, but is that too creepy? If not, what should I say?

Yes FB messaging is creepy, it's like being asked out on the street by a stranger, minus the potential physical chemistry.

Now if you have a big game (money, cool friends, fascinating hobbies), you can try, but if you don't, you have not a chance.

I wouldn't expect a reply, as it might go to her 'other messages'.

There is a good chance it might creep her out, but I guess you have nothing to lose. I would suggest avoiding the 'Hey, you're beautiful' type line.

The sooner you realise the complete unimportance of Facebook, the richer and better your life will be.

OP, you have nothing to lose. Just do it. You know on Facebook, if someone shows up on the side of your lists as a recommended friend that means they can also be looking at YOUR profile? Not all the time, but still...

Just message her. Be honest and upfront, just say something along the lines of "hey, I know you don't know me personally but I see you are friends with blah blah blah and your name keeps coming up on my screen. I think you're pretty cute, I thought I would take a shot and see I you would message me back". Short and simple. I would mention whose names she is friends with that you know, it should be under "mutual friends", that way she doesn't think you're some random weirdo. Then you can be upfront, just tell your you were interested. You never know, she might find you attractive and answer back.

Don't be offended if she doesn't answer or blocks you; many of us have done regular online dating and have gone through PLENTY of that. If she is really attractive, chances are other boys are messaging her too, even on Facebook. Just take a shot. Life is short, don't live with regrets. Sometimes I wish I could go back to high school and ask out a couple girls I knew. Once you have your own life, you lose touch with people and it gets harder to find women as an adult!

Also dave's comment above... I agree Facebook isn't the most important thing in the world for some people but there is also a good side to it, eg. communicating with friends and family, staying alert as to what is going on in your local community. There have been pets and even PEOPLE (with amber alerts) that have gotten lost and they were found through Facebook campaigns on our local community pages where I live. My sister and I set up a family tree page to share with all our relatives with old pictures, stories, memories, and etc. To some people, that kind of stuff is important. We use it as a common grounds to communicate because everyone is on it. I'm sure there are people that just waste time on there, following celebrities and playing dumb Facebook games. But some of us appreciate having the service of Facebook and using it for good deeds.

I'm also the camp that says go for it , you have nothing to lose. It isn't creepy as long as you have some some connection to her (ie mutual friends)You'll come off as creepy if you don't have direct connection to her.

The best way to initiate a conversation without being creepy is to comment on her Facebook status. Make it casual , funny and relate to whatever her post is about. Once you see she takes it well to the random comment, you can give it few days/week and do the same slowly .As a result, you are building a connection with her.She will feel more comfortable and the less creepy a "hey what's up private message will come off

Alternatively , you could also try poking her.I've had random guys on Facebook send me a poke as way to break the ice.However, I prefer when a guy sends a message instead and direct to the point.Really it depends on the girl , I personally wouldn't mind -I met one of my previous boyfriends on Face book and we had no direct connection.Seriously ,you won't know untill you try.If she's interested she'll will respond positively.Good luck

The only thing that makes it creepy is if she finds you attractive or not(or if your content is creepy/ crossing boundaries). Keep it simple and straight forward, "don't know you but you are pretty want to get to know you" etc. Message her you have nothing to lose and it'll be a good experience just don't expect a reply.

I have to agree that if she doesn't think you're attractive, she'll most likely classify anything you say as creepy.Just don't say "hey sexy or anything like that- that's a surefire way to fail lol.You should try approaching her with something you have in common. It all comes down to individual relativism and what kind of person she is .Look at it this way , you either message her and you have 50/50 shot of reply/no reply or you don't take a chance and have no shot at all-your pick

if you aren't friends with her , I would add her first IMO

check out her fb...comment on a few status'

then send the little hello message...use something

she said on one of here status' as an ice breaker...

then go onto oh by the way my name is "enter name"

add small talk in..keep it short to see how it goes..

Ive actually done this a few times..but I am really good

at keep convos going.

The only thing that makes it creepy is if she finds you attractive or not(or if your content is creepy/ crossing boundaries). Keep it simple and straight forward, "don't know you but you are pretty want to get to know you" etc. Message her you have nothing to lose and it'll be a good experience just don't expect a reply.

This. Don't internalize the message of "creepy" just because you saw someone and wanted to meet them. If she's not responsive it doesn't make you creepy, just makes her disinterested.

For people to use Facebook is creepy and weird (to me). Especially a grown ass man or woman.

For people to use Facebook is creepy and weird (to me). Especially a grown ass man or woman.

Ummm some of us use Facebook as tool to effortlessly connect and keep in touch with others. We're not weird and creepy so please don't judge and look down on people who use Facebook just because it conflicts with your opinion/prefrence. This world would be boring if we all like the same things.Yes you are entitled to your opinion but the OP asked for advice and not to be told that he's creepy for using Facebook

Ummm....his question specifically asks if messaging her on FB would be creepy.

Some say yes....others say no.

I vote for creepy.

I was referring to DOF statement on how he thinks anyone who uses Facebook is creepy which also applies to me because I use Facebook.The OP didn't ask our opinion on Facebook-he asked if it would be creepy to message her on Facebook or not.And he asked advice on how to go about it.If a person don't have anything contsructive to contribute to the thread, then they have the option of not replying

People who use fb to connect with existing connections is completely different from approaching someone you have never met.

Alternatively , you could also try poking her.

That's probably what he's trying to do, but he's gotta actually meet her first! ;-)

That's subjective, I personally don't see anything wrong with as I have met some guys on Facebook-don't see how it's different from meeting someone on dating site. Then again opinion vary

Meeting on a dating site presumes that both people have the same intent.

Using FB and tenuous at best "mutual friends" connection is simply stalking g. Akin to walking up to a random stranger on the street. There was a post some time back about a woman trying to used LinkedIn as a way to "connect" to a guy she had never met.

When did the lines of common courtesy dissolve? Because someone sees your picture and likes it, they are allowed to intrude upon your life?

How is approaching someone you are interested in an intrusion to one's life? How is he suppose to meet her if he has no other connections with her?So We're only suppose to meet people on Dating sites? Not in person or anywhere else ?Op I say go for it, the worst thing that could happen is not getting a response.You have nothing to lose

Approaching someone you are "interested in"....and yet know absolutely nothing about!

What you mean to say is...approach a stranger based on superficial attraction.

How many couples do you know that started by a random "hi, my name is Dotty. Now do you like me so far?"

Dating sites are for those looking to date. Use of any/all social media to approach strangers...is creepy.

It's more like approaching someone at a bar, who you've seen hanging out several times with some people you know, and you happen to be in that bar and see them alone, and go up to them. He wasn't browsing through a friends friends list looking for hot girls. He sees her comments on posts that they share, and over time has grown some (tenuous perhaps) familiarity.

There is a chance she has seen his comments as well.

This is one of those cases where whether or not it is seen as "creepy" is pretty darn subjective. It's not something I would do, but if a girl approached me in this way I would not find it weird. I realize gender dynamics may be different of course.

It's more like approaching someone at a bar, who you've seen hanging out several times with some people you know, and you happen to be in that bar and see them alone, and go up to them. He wasn't browsing through a friends friends list looking for hot girls. He sees her comments on posts that they share, and over time has grown some (tenuous perhaps) familiarity.

 

There is a chance she has seen his comments as well.

 

This is one of those cases where whether or not it is seen as "creepy" is pretty darn subjective. It's not something I would do, but if a girl approached me in this way I would not find it weird. I realize gender dynamics may be different of course.

I agree with you, it is subjective.None of us can predict how the girl will react to the OP's approach-all comes down to individual boundaries and comfort zones.I personally wouldn't mind as I met few guys that way, I never felt weirded out . In fact one of them lead to a 2 year relationship

I agree it would be best to keep it as respectful and brief as possible and if she doesn't reply, do nothing and just let it be.

Adding her as a friend first was also a good idea.

Just remember though that the pics we put for our profiles on FB are always the best and only the best. Keep that in mind.

I been tempted to do something like this but I just didn't even bother because I didn't want to come off as creepy. The best way to meet someone on Facebook is being a member of a certain group and developing a friendship through discussions on various topics.

I agree with you, it is subjective.None of us can predict how the girl will react to the OP's approach-all comes down to individual boundaries and comfort zones.I personally wouldn't mind as I met few guys that way, I never felt weirded out . In fact one of them lead to a 2 year relationship

I was thinking about doing it but they can't have any connection to my friends. lol