I wouldn't mind

Hello, everyone!

I want to talk to someone about my ideas on love, jealousy and infidelity and to ask you if you have ever felt the same and what are your thoughts about it.

There is one person in my life for seven months now - I think I wouldn't mind him being with others, surely I wouldn't want to define the relationship as an open one, but if he is with others, I would "forgive" him, it wouldn't bother me, I think. I almost feel that jealousy and asking for certain things is an insult to the other person, as if he isn't enough and your love for him is not enough either. Such thoughts are provoked by the ego and I believe love makes humble. I know it must sound bad. Once I told him I would never get mad at him and he said "Why? That's so strange." I can't even explain it. He is a very social person, talks to many people, including girls, but it is a part of him, if he were different, maybe I would never have liked him, maybe he would never have such influence on me. He is also a very intelligent person and a bit weird himself. I also wouldn't mind if he left my life, I am thankful I know someone like him, but losing him wouldn't make me sad or depressed. And I like his previous girlfriends. Also, I am not going to say I love him because I still find it hard to define love and for a long time I believe I wasn't capable of it. I don't want this to get too long, I will stop here. Thank you for reading!

There is jealousy....and there is indifference. Since you wouldn't care if he was with another, and you wouldn't care if he left you...I would hesitate to define what you feel as romantic love.

There may be attraction. But I don't see commitment, shared values, nor desire for a future.

All of which is fine. Are you being intimate or is this a friendship?

In what way would you not mind him "being with others?" Do you mean sexually, or hugging, kissing, or do you mean just talking to another woman? I need a bit more elaboration about what you are asking and where you are going with this as I do think it could be a great topic to get into.

Some women get bent right out of shape if their SO even talks to another woman, which seems over the top to me, as I dont have any problem with that at all. I have female friends and we hug hello and goodbye, as a greeting, and my husband hugs them too. It's nothing sexual, just a greeting, so I see no reason to get upset about that.

You sound very nonchalant which I think is better than being wound up like a top!

This is how I've felt with people in casual dating.

In relationships?! Heh, totally different. I want that person for myself.

We are intimate.

I think I wouldn't mind him kissing and under some conditions even sleeping with others.

Maybe I forgot to mention - I do like him a lot, in looks and in character, I could say I have never felt this way about anyone else, that's why it is so strange I don't get jealous or possessive.

It's simple casual sex. Been around for ages.

We are intimate.

 

I think I wouldn't mind him kissing and under some conditions even sleeping with others.

 

Maybe I forgot to mention - I do like him a lot, in looks and in character, I could say I have never felt this way about anyone else, that's why it is so strange I don't get jealous or possessive.

You must be one in a million!

Depends on how you view love, some people don't see that there could be one love of your life. As well sex can be a casual thing .Obviously he's not the love of your life

Perhaps you should have this conversation with him.

Ya'll may be on two different pages. And it's not fair since someone (probable him) will wind up getting hurt.

Good luck.

Thank you for your opinions!

For some reason the idea that it is just casual sex/dating made me very calm. Of course we do many things other than sex, we go out, we give each other gifts, he invited me to his hometown, but I guess I don't really picture myself living with him and having children. And we are both young - in our early twenties. He wouldn't have a problem, at the beginning he said he wasn't a jealous person and his ex even started fights about it. And we never defined what it was, which is fine by me.