Need a little help making a decision

I have recently found out that I am 5 weeks pregnant, this was not a planned pregnancy but the result of failed birth control. I have just recently started seeing the guy who is the father, due to other circumstances I am also living with him. In the course of the weeks that I have been here with him Im not sure if this is going to be a long term relationship well until yesterday that is. Im struggling with the decision to keep this baby or end the pregnancy. I do not have any family and have moved accross the state away from my friends. I was forced to end one pregnancy at a young age and was devastated and think that has affected the rest of my life and not in a positive way. I have no idea what to do or where to turn. Please any advice and help would greatly be appreciated. Please no hate mail about even considering this option.

If you are not able to support yourself and take care of this baby at this point in your life on your own I fear the repercussions for you and your child living in conditions that are not ideal.

You have already dealt with pain of a terminated pregnancy... do you think you could go through that again?

Have you considered adoption? Even an open adoption where you can maintain some type of update/role in the child's life? Not ideal as I'm sure you would rather be married and starting a family, but its not complete abandonment if that is how you feel about adoption.

I think first and foremost though you owe it to the father of the child to least be aware of the situation and how you are feeling about it.

If you're not going to terminate the pregnancy then why have you not told the father and given him the option of raising his son or daughter. Would he make a good father or is he incapable for any reason in your mind of being able to bring him/her up to be a good citizen of this world? If he is not going to be a good father then call social services in your area and tell them your story. Hopefully they'll find you temporary housing and set you up with the proper adoption agencies.

If you want to rid yourself of this man then (a unpopular opinion, I know) I'd not tell him. If he's abusive, I'd not tell him. If he's in anyway incapable of being a loving and responsible parent, then I'd not tell him any of this and just leave and get on with it... It being whatever you decide to do. BTW: IMO you should not feel guilt for not bringing a child into an unstable/unhealthy/dysfunctional exixtence so get the therapy (through social services) that you need to come to terms with your residual regret.

Since this has happened to you before do you think it's a good idea that you get the implant and always use rubbers so that your BC doesn't fail you again? There is nothing healthy emotionally about putting yourself through this same situation yet again. Look after yourself.

I can only tell you what *I* would do in this situation, and that would be terminate the pregnancy and not tell him anything about it.

If you don't see yourself staying with this guy in the long run, and you do not wish to be tied to him in any way, terminating is the only thing that makes sense. A child will change your life forever, and all your future life decisions will have to have this child as main concern. Are you ready for this?

You barely know the guy, and you don't sound all that enthusiastic about him. If you keep the baby, he will be a constant presence in your life - that is, if he wants to have anything to do with the child. If he doesn't, then would you be able to raise him, all on your own?

If you're sure he's not the guy for you...only one choice makes sense.

But you are the only one who can decide.

I have told the father that I am pregnant he is actually happy, he said this is our second chance to raise a baby in a two parent home and wants to start our life together. He is considering joining the military and I have a good job that is the reason I moved here was to take a position I was offered. I am more concerned that things wont work out for us and I will be back in a custody situation like I am now with my two children from my previous marriage, who I now share 50/50 custody with my ex husband. Idk maybe I am just scared because I don't have anyone to talk to other the my bf and he wont even hear the option of terminating the pregnancy.

Do you want another child? You have to decide if, in the worst-case scenario, you'd rather have the child in a custody situation which may or may not be on good terms, or not have another child at all.

It seems like he feels pretty strongly about it, and you feel pretty influenced by him . . . I think, if you do decide to have the child and to continue to have a relationship with the dad, you should avoid marriage until you are sure things are solid between you two, and not just being held together by the fact you have a child.

As another poster asked, how do you feel about adoption? Or, if you don't want another child and don't see things working out with dad, how do you feel about signing over your rights to him completely? Now that he knows you're pregnant, I don't see him being okay with another couple adopting the child, but who knows . . .

Adoption is not an option I could neber carry a child and care for it for 9 months and then let someone else take him home. I have thought about it and have decided that we will be having this baby. I know its not going to be easy but this baby will have more love then it will know what to do with. After a lot of soul searching I really think my major fear is being alone without my family especially my mom. Thank you everyone for the help I will diffently be on here more often.