At a loss and need advice.

Hi. I have a problem I need help with. My husband and I have been married 10 years, 4 years ago we moved to his hometown. I did this for him, I do. It now nor have I ever liked it here. The people are cliquie and I'm an outsider. I have always been independent, so I have pretty much kept to myself with the exception of a few friends. He is a social butterfly who is back "home". We have 2 children, and had a good life until a few years ago. He began to withdraw from me, around the same time he began working overseas. Things have gotten continuously worse. He is mean and contrary. Doesn't want to spend any time with me, he sleeps on the couch. We don't have sex anymore. I asked him if he is having an affair, he says no. Today he finally broken down when I told him this was his last chance to be honest with me or I was leaving. He admitted that he isn't attracted to me anymore because I'm too fat. I have gained quite a bit of weight since we started having problems. I know I don't look like the skinny girl he married. I just don't k is what to do with this information. I'm so hurt, but it is what I expected. Btw, he's overweight too. Please help.

I can't tell you what to do but if I were you, I'd lose a boat load of weight, get a total makeover and then leave him and tell him I'm doing so because he's "too fat."

Seriously... I would do the weight loss, join Weight Watchers and a gym and then you'll find that you will be that much less worried about staying with a man that is indifferent to you.

I see what the above advice is saying but i think there is more. I adore my OH but if he stopped trying, gained weight and things were rocky im sure we'd stop having sex. I also think if it was the other way around and you were staing your husband had gained a lot of weight people who be advising you to join a gym together or do something fun together.

If you want to save your marriage I suggest you both get fit together and consider counselling. He obviously has some underlying issue and I really hope it's not an affair.

You moved so you either need to accept that and not hang it over him or move again. Maybe invite your family for a visit?

Alittlelost is right. If you're goal is to get your marriage back on track, you need to come together and tackle your problems as team.

You said you are both overweight now. It doesn't matter whom gained weight first. Forgive yourself for making choices you wish you hadn't, forgive him for being callous towards you, and actively push yourselves to move forward.

Do you have any friends/family in the area who work in nutrition, person training, or fitness? If not, could you set aside any money in your budget hire a wellness coach? It may be difficult to get sort this out without coaching.

Also, you two need to begin marriage counseling immediately.

Well, she has all the control in the world over herself but none over him so hopefully he'll see his own self in the mirror and work with her to get back to their "bedroom weight." I feel that if he's so selfish to point out her gain while not taking her consideration about his gain into account, then he'll feel there isn't anything about him that needs to be changed.

I hope I'm wrong about that, Op.