Generation Posted September 17, 2012 Share Posted September 17, 2012 I've been googling this topic and I've been reading mixed thoughts, from men and from women, so I thought hey why not just make my own thread and hear some more thoughts. What does it mean when a woman touches you a man on the shoulder? Is it just a friendly gesture or something more? Would you touch any of your guy friends on the shoulders or only the ones you may be interested in or attracted to? While I'm on the subject, what about when a woman squeezes your arm (bicep) nonchalantly? Link to comment
minorissues Posted September 17, 2012 Share Posted September 17, 2012 Depends! When I was younger (late teens to mid 20s) I was pretty reserved and would only touch guys on the arm or bicep or whatever if I was interested in them romantically. I was stiff as a board with guys I didn't want to give the "wrong impression" to. As I got older and more comfortable in my skin, I would pretty much touch guys on the arm just to develop a connection, whether romantic or otherwise. It's no fun talking to someone without a bit of a connection after all. Heck I even touch girls on the arm for the same reason! Link to comment
nutbrownhare Posted September 17, 2012 Share Posted September 17, 2012 Depends on the person. I'm very tactile and tend to touch anyone who looks as though they won't feel I'm invading their personal space. Yes, I'm interested in them as people but it doesn't necessarily mean anything more than that. With someone who's more reserved, it would be far more significant if THEY touched you - so there are no hard and fast rules here! Link to comment
Klokwurk Posted September 17, 2012 Share Posted September 17, 2012 Means nothing, just a touch on the arm. Here in the US, and in most places, it would just be considered part of having a casual conversation. Link to comment
Miss Firecracker Posted September 17, 2012 Share Posted September 17, 2012 I would never touch a man on the shoulder unless I wanted his body. Just depends on the individual though. Many people are all touchy with everyone. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 Any touch like that is an invitation to further closeness. Some people are more reserved than others, and some people are more flirty than others (without it meaning anything)... but it's a green light to further interaction. Personally? Squeezing a bicep to me is some serious blatant flirting. A touch on the shoulder? Can be anything from a casual "hi" to something more. It's in the overall body language. I wouldn't touch someone on the shoulder if I didn't want to at least talk to them. Link to comment
GirlontheLam Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 I am moderately touchy. A touch on the arm is pretty meaningless. It is kinda like I am listening or I emphasis. I wouldn't touch you, unless I like you on some level, but that doesn't have to be romantic. Blatant flirting for me? Long touch anywhere on the arm (think like 3 seconds), forearm stroke, and the big guns: a knee touch or stroke! Bicep or arm squeeze? This one is totally mixed for me. A few parts flirting, a few parts trying to get your attention. Generally speaking, more touches or longer touches are a good sign of attraction. Link to comment
Abigaelle Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 I'm very touchy and for me, a touch on the shoulder would more of a friendly gesture. It all depends on the way it's done though. If its a long touch , well, it's more of a flirting gesture. Bicep or arm.. Any touch on these would be considered as a definite romantic touch. I even touch my girlfriends on the shoulder.. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 I agree it depends on the person. A touch on the arm can be flirty or it can be harmless. A bicep squeeze is probably flirting though! Link to comment
Nick7lno Posted September 18, 2012 Share Posted September 18, 2012 It depends on their eyes, if they touch you on the arm and shoulders and there’s something in there yes, then it could mean something else. If they have this certain look in their eyes. I do it, I’m pretty comfortable with touching people on the arms or shoulders, so it doesn't really mean anything, unless they or I have something else in our eyes. Which I don't unless it’s with my girlfriend. Hmm, it could be flirty, again it depends. If you needed comfort or you were upset and she squeezed your bicep then it is more of a reassuring thing, but other than that I'd say it was a flirt. Link to comment
Sportster2005 Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 I've been googling this topic and I've been reading mixed thoughts, from men and from women, so I thought hey why not just make my own thread and hear some more thoughts. What does it mean when a woman touches you a man on the shoulder? Is it just a friendly gesture or something more? Would you touch any of your guy friends on the shoulders or only the ones you may be interested in or attracted to? While I'm on the subject, what about when a woman squeezes your arm (bicep) nonchalantly? I'm not sure what it means. But unless you're my gf you will know you've crossed a line. I don't like being touched. I think it takes real gall and a lack of social grace to touch someone you are not involved with. Link to comment
Generation Posted September 19, 2012 Author Share Posted September 19, 2012 I'm not sure what it means. But unless you're my gf you will know you've crossed a line. I don't like being touched. I think it takes real gall and a lack of social grace to touch someone you are not involved with. I would disagree. It's not like they're reaching for my groin or copping a feel. Link to comment
nutbrownhare Posted September 19, 2012 Share Posted September 19, 2012 I'm not sure what it means. But unless you're my gf you will know you've crossed a line. I don't like being touched. I think it takes real gall and a lack of social grace to touch someone you are not involved with. Many people don't like to be touched; it shows in their body language and all sorts of other ways. The social grace comes in when you can sense who's "Hands Off" and who isn't. Sometimes it's appropriate to touch others. It doesn't mean it's with sexual intent. Link to comment
Slimpee Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 it really depends. i think i put off an aloof, "don't touch me" vibe because i don't get touched alot but it happens. Sometimes, it seems like flirting...you can just feel it. Other times, it's just a very emotive person. Nobody should make huge assumptions based on little gestures, but if the touch seems to be really out of place for either the relationship you have w/ the person, or with how the other person normally acts, it could mean something. It's all about deviations from baseline behavior. Link to comment
GirlontheLam Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 it really depends. i think i put off an aloof, "don't touch me" vibe because i don't get touched alot but it happens. Sometimes, it seems like flirting...you can just feel it. Other times, it's just a very emotive person. Nobody should make huge assumptions based on little gestures, but if the touch seems to be really out of place for either the relationship you have w/ the person, or with how the other person normally acts, it could mean something. It's all about deviations from baseline behavior. Great point. Touching (in a neutral zone) when taken alone isn't indicative of anything. Some people are more communicative via touch than others. Link to comment
jonny15 Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 Means nothing, just a touch on the arm. Here in the US, and in most places, it would just be considered part of having a casual conversation. Seriously? I have never had a casual conversation with a woman, and had her touch me in any way. I've always thought it was a sign they were into you. And it was suppose to be one of the easy signs, since alot of us have no clue what signs are what. Link to comment
Slimpee Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 Seriously? I have never had a casual conversation with a woman, and had her touch me in any way. I've always thought it was a sign they were into you. And it was suppose to be one of the easy signs, since alot of us have no clue what signs are what. It certainly can be an indicator or interest but it can also be a sign of comfort. For example, I have a friend who's sister is very touchy and will often put her hand on my shoulder or touch my arm even though she and I aren't close friends. Moreover, she's married and she'll do it right in front of her husband. Thus, it's certainly not an indicator of interest but rather just a product of her natural personality and her comfort level with me. Another example, I have a female friend in whom im very interested. She has a bf, though. She will often playfully touch occasionally, especially when drunk. One time, which actually surprised me, we were having brunch w/ a few people and she reached over to pick a feather or something off of my face. She's just comfortable with me. The point is, it CAN be a sign of interest but that doesn't mean it is a sign of interest. If it's the only sign, she's prob not interested but if there's some touching, she's not naturally touchy-feely w/ everyone, acts interested in your life, wants to get together, etc., she may be interested. Link to comment
GirlontheLam Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 Seriously? I have never had a casual conversation with a woman, and had her touch me in any way. I've always thought it was a sign they were into you. And it was suppose to be one of the easy signs, since alot of us have no clue what signs are what. My "I'm interested" touches move from something static to something a little more dynamic, like a stroke on the arm. Or a squeeze. Pretty much anyone, male or female, who isn't creepy will get some sort of touch. Link to comment
Heather Dawn Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 I just touched a co-worker (male) on the shoulder the other day in a playful way. But it was in no way flirtatious or sexual. Link to comment
jonny15 Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 I just thought it was a pretty good sign, otherwise, why go out of the way to touch someone? I don't touch people during conversations. Espically women, since I don't want anyone to freak out and slap me, or have me arrested because the ugly guy touched them. Link to comment
jonny15 Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 Pretty much anyone, male or female, who isn't creepy will get some sort of touch. Well thanx. LOL Nobody ever does that to me. Link to comment
nutbrownhare Posted September 22, 2012 Share Posted September 22, 2012 Espically women, since I don't want anyone to freak out and slap me, or have me arrested because the ugly guy touched them. Awwww... if we ever meet, I'll give you a big hug! Link to comment
GirlontheLam Posted September 23, 2012 Share Posted September 23, 2012 I just thought it was a pretty good sign, otherwise, why go out of the way to touch someone? I don't touch people during conversations. Espically women, since I don't want anyone to freak out and slap me, or have me arrested because the ugly guy touched them. It sounds like to me, to be so cliche, touch isn't one of your love languages. Look out for the long touches those are definitely signals. Link to comment
Generation Posted September 23, 2012 Author Share Posted September 23, 2012 Lately I've been hearing a lot about "love language", it's a concept that never even existed to me until like a week ago when I've seen those words like a dozen times. Can someone care to explain? Link to comment
turningthepage Posted September 23, 2012 Share Posted September 23, 2012 Well, I've never heard of love language, but surely just the same as body language? I would take a touch of the shoulder as friendly, a touch of the bicep is definite flirting in my language Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.