WhenWillILove Posted September 28, 2011 Share Posted September 28, 2011 I just want to know how many of you men have actually cried (no, not teared up) after a breakup. Have you kept it a secret from your male friends? Female friends? Do you feel ashamed because you did cry? Do you feel a weaker man? Does crying emasculate you in any way? How? Link to comment
NoDice Posted September 28, 2011 Share Posted September 28, 2011 I cried and some times still do 2 weeks later, I don't no why? I think it makes me feel like I actually gave it my all. Do I feel weaker, no. She never cried for me, at least that I know of. In all of my break ups, about 50/50 I cried..the times I didn't were ones I was cheated on, or that I saw it coming and dropped the hand of doom on them before the had a chance to strike. I know that sounds "macho" but in my younger years, as a lot of 21 year olds are claiming "it gets better, I promise" I was numb, I had hope, and I had no experience with actual adult heartbreak, after college or uni everything changes. But in regards to your question, I have seen a good amount of men cry after a break up, dumper or dumpee...why do you care? Link to comment
AloneAgain19 Posted September 28, 2011 Share Posted September 28, 2011 I cried in front of my best friend, who is also my workout spotter, who wrestled in high school, started training in mixed martial arts, almost did natural bodybuilding, and was training for the navy seals...he's like the most masculine guy I know. He patted me on the back. Link to comment
WhenWillILove Posted September 28, 2011 Author Share Posted September 28, 2011 I cried in front of my best friend, who is also my workout spotter, who wrestled in high school, started training in mixed martial arts, almost did natural bodybuilding, and was training for the navy seals...he's like the most masculine guy I know. He patted me on the back. Wow He must be a hot one, right? Too cool for crying, eh? Link to comment
Stan1009 Posted September 28, 2011 Share Posted September 28, 2011 I cried a few times soon after the breakup. It doesn't make me feel like a weaker man nor do i feel ashamed about it. Link to comment
Generation Posted September 28, 2011 Share Posted September 28, 2011 The only time I ever cried in my adult years (not just tears) was when my friend died. I'm not ashamed that I did and honestly, I'd be more ashamed if I didn't. After that, I just couldn't bring myself to ever feel like that ever again. Even after my break up with my ex. I will say this though, on some levels, losing my ex was in some ways more painful than losing my friend. I hate to say it, but sometimes that's how it felt. Maybe it was cause the pain of losing my ex was so fresh to me. It's not that the break up wasn't intense, but I just can't cry like that ever again unless something really painful triggers it. That's not to say that I don't tear up sometimes, infact just the thought of my friend right now makes me wanna tear. Link to comment
He2Him Posted September 28, 2011 Share Posted September 28, 2011 Sure I did, but no point telling anyone. Link to comment
ApocalypseDreams Posted September 28, 2011 Share Posted September 28, 2011 In all honesty, I've only cried once in my adult life and that was the night my mother died a few years ago. Haven't cried since and I'm not entirely sure it's physically possible for me to cry. My worst break up left me EXTREMELY sad and depressed but I did not cry. Not because I think it's macho not to cry or anything, just that I'm not sure my tear ducts actually work anymore because I don't even know how I would go about crying. I don't think crying makes a man weaker at all. Blubbing over everything is probably too much but something that is emotionally heartbreaking or taxing like a break up or a death or something similiar is a very valid. Link to comment
ryanjd0420 Posted September 28, 2011 Share Posted September 28, 2011 me and my girlfriend broke up after 2 1/2 years. im only 19. i cried like a baby. and i still do. pretty much miserable. i tell my friends. im not ashamed at all! because i know that the pain that i deal with! Link to comment
In the Dark Posted September 28, 2011 Share Posted September 28, 2011 Being masculine and not crying from emotional abuse as a male is forced upon males in New Zealand from a an early age. Ironically we have the second highest male suicide rate per capita and most related to break ups. Link to comment
Flyingpiglet Posted September 28, 2011 Share Posted September 28, 2011 I'm not a man but, I have male friends who have cried on my shoulder after break ups or for other reasons. I don't think that anybody should ever feel ashamed, weak or emasculated in any way because of crying. I just see it as a natural, human release of emotion. Though it is my understanding that MOST males will hide away to cry and will present an 'I'm 100% in control' attitude to the outside world. Link to comment
Snowy Posted September 28, 2011 Share Posted September 28, 2011 Crying is what the body automatically does. Link to comment
Cheetarah Posted September 28, 2011 Share Posted September 28, 2011 I'm not a man but, I have male friends who have cried on my shoulder after break ups or for other reasons. I don't think that anybody should ever feel ashamed, weak or emasculated in any way because of crying. I just see it as a natural, human release of emotion. Though it is my understanding that MOST males will hide away to cry and will present an 'I'm 100% in control' attitude to the outside world. It appears that way, generally speaking. I've had a couple boyfriends and male friends that were completely comfortable crying in front of me(arguments, movies, whatever it may be), but probably the majority, when their eyes would cloud, they'd get angry and frustrated with themselves for the 'loss of control' and instead of crying they'd snap verbally or go 'walk it off'. Generally speaking, the ones who were more comfortable with that expression of emotion were more emotionally healthy and content, less anger-ridden. Just saying. Link to comment
octour Posted September 28, 2011 Share Posted September 28, 2011 I cried a few times and still well up and it's been two months. I never did it to her or around anybody else. The first couple of times I wailed in my apartment. I can still hear the echo. I haven't been that sad in a really long time. But it allowed me to release my emotions. But it became more difficult because she was contacting me still all the time, every day, wanted to see each other almost everyday etc. So I didn't know what was going on and thought we were just taking care of a few issues. But I then realized she had her sights on someone else. I wailed again. Not to her, by myself alone. The wailing began to stop after 3 or 4 times, now I just well up and take a deep breath and dry my eyes. I think it releases feelings you can't verbally express. It has actually made me feel better so I am not ashamed as I kept it to myself. I have caught myself a few times preferring to cry to release the terrible feelings in my chest and stomach which I still have to this day. But that too is going away. I think crying is okay because it works for me. But one thing I will never do is cry to her about her taking me back, i'll change, i'm sorry, etc. No way, that'll never work and it will just push them further away and me further away from myself. Link to comment
Airbag Posted September 28, 2011 Share Posted September 28, 2011 Ofcourse I cried. I cried my eyes out. Even after 2 months after the breakup, I still cry occationally. Especially since I've heard she's already going on dates with other guys. But what can you do about it? Crying is necessary, in my opinion. I actually feel better after crying. It doesn't make me feel less masculine, it makes me feel human and alive. Men are not heartless. They do have emotions, even though they hate to show them. They always try to look confident, cool and like they don't care at all. But they do care. Men hate to show weakness, especially to their (male) friends. It's like putting a mask on. When they are by themselves, alone in their room, they feel sad. They probably cry too. Link to comment
Penseur Posted September 28, 2011 Share Posted September 28, 2011 Yes, I have cried multiple times after break ups or after the death of loved ones. But, echoing the comments in this thread, I take great lengths to ensure that I am alone and no one will know I am crying. Link to comment
mactownman Posted September 28, 2011 Share Posted September 28, 2011 I did once during the breakup and once afterwards to my mom. It was beneficial. I feel no less manly or insecure about it. I would worry about people that never cry. Link to comment
AloneAgain19 Posted September 29, 2011 Share Posted September 29, 2011 Wow He must be a hot one, right? Too cool for crying, eh? No i mean i thought he was gonna tell me to sack up and he was supportive lol Link to comment
Miss Firecracker Posted September 29, 2011 Share Posted September 29, 2011 I've seen men sob like babies. Young ones and old ones. Yes, they most definitely do cry over women. Link to comment
LDRohnos Posted September 29, 2011 Share Posted September 29, 2011 Yep. I cry whenever I feel I need to. Hell, every time I watch the movie "Saving Private Ryan" I'm totally balling at the end. And to answer the OPs question. Yes I have cried over a breakup. I think most men who were in love with someone and it didn't work out have...even if their ego doesn't allow them to admit it. Link to comment
motley802 Posted September 29, 2011 Share Posted September 29, 2011 Yep. I've myself cried and I've seen my friends crying like a baby. Men are like coconuts. We may seem hard from outside but we are soft from inside. Its natural and we cannot stop it. Link to comment
DerekJason Posted September 29, 2011 Share Posted September 29, 2011 i have cried more over the recent x than ANY c88t ive ever cried for, im done tho. im taking a mf'ing stand right now. im done being mr. pitiful. recon time has expired. GET THE STRENGTH FELLOW ENA'ers!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment
The Man Who Posted September 29, 2011 Share Posted September 29, 2011 I cried when we were having our break because I thought I may as well get it out and prepare for the worst but hope for the best. Was one of the best things I ever did as when we finally had the talk I acted manly and didn't take it half as badly as I would've if I hadn't cried when we first took our break. Link to comment
intotheself Posted September 29, 2011 Share Posted September 29, 2011 My ex was tearful when he was breaking up with me. He wrote to me later that he cried reading my email where I addressed him by his nickname I gave and wished him happiness. Link to comment
jaysmaury Posted September 29, 2011 Share Posted September 29, 2011 The only time I ever cried in my adult years (not just tears) was when my friend died. I'm not ashamed that I did and honestly, I'd be more ashamed if I didn't. When I was 15 years old, my friend was hit by a car and died. I never cried and wondered at the time what the hell was wrong with me. I thought about him a lot, and going to his wake (open casket) left an impression on me - but still I never cried about it though I felt I needed to and probably should. I still feel ashamed of that to this day. Still have not cried about it... Link to comment
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