"Taking Back" Songs That Remind You of Your Ex

I'm writing this because I'm curious if anybody else is feeling/has felt this.

Being a musician, music and especially lyrics have always been very important to me. I've dedicated and associated so many songs to my ex. 6 years of songs that remind me of him. Songs that remind me of when we started hanging out (Crush by Jimmy Eat World) to all of our good times (The Heart Never Lies by McFly) and even some of the bad. Songs that I gave to him as anniversary gifts.

Has anybody had a tough time trying to "take them back"? There are so many songs that I have to skip on my iPod because there's a lyric that reminds me of him. It's actually become really annoying. I really want to make these songs "mine" again.

We've only been broken up for about a month now. And we've still been living together in that time (although I'm moving out in about a week.) I know it will eventually get easier when I'm moved out and I do NC.

I guess I just feel angry that I "allowed" myself to "give" those songs to him. Music is so important and VERY personal to me and I'm angry/disappointed that I let him be part of that aspect of my life. Am I babbling? Anybody else feel the same way?

I think it's inevitable to share stuff like that, no need to be angry at yourself. You will make new memories, new songs, there's so many out there. You can discover a new genre you might like. If you still wanna listen to the same songs remember yourself in them instead of him, what YOU like about the song, how YOU came accross it. It will help though a lot if you change your playlist, new data for the mind, will also give you a sense of opening up to something new.

I have had this, Wish you were here by Pink Floyd and Opposites Attract by You Me At Six used to reduce me to tears because they were two songs that really meant something to me because I associated them with her. Wish you were here was a song we agreed was OUR song. Shortly after the split I posted the song on her wall on facebook - she said she cried so much it made her ill

I digress...I have no problem listening to it now, it was there before her, and its here 3 months after her. Give it time, eventually you just stop caring! Can't give any insight into music you may have specifically written for him though...I have tried and failed to write haha I will stick to just playing

After 6 months, I am finally able to listen to 90% of my itunes library (100gb) again. Thank. God.

(don't think i'll ever have sex with music playing again. i'm ruined. every song means something. unless i start dating some guy that only listens to concertos or something. i'm open trying something new!)

I know exactly what you mean.

I can't listen to Bob Dylan, The Zombies, or Radiohead anymore. At all. =/

I don't even know if I can listen to The Beatles, either, actually. Ya.

In any future relationships, we're listening to music only SHE likes lol.

Yes totally - I stopped listening to many of the bands/musicians that we liked together and only recently have started listening to them again. Some music i won't listen to that is that music that I got into because he liked it.

Ya. I'm definitely not going to pop in a CD I hold dear to me with any new girls I may ever meet lol. If she wants to listen to my music we're digging the jazz or classical station.

Ya. I'm definitely not going to pop in a CD I hold dear to me with any new girls I may ever meet lol. If she wants to listen to my music we're digging the jazz or classical station.

Oh man jazz is where it's at for sure. One thing my exes could never ruin for me even if they tried so hard to get into it because I probably drove them up the wall with it. It's just such good cleaning and cooking music....

Oh man jazz is where it's at for sure. One thing my exes could never ruin for me even if they tried so hard to get into it because I probably drove them up the wall with it. It's just such good cleaning and cooking music....

Heh. My ex and I both lost our virginity to the album 'Kind Of Blue' =/

When I'll listen to that one again... I don't care to think, but that's the only jazz she ever heard with me lol.

I don't let them take music away from me. That belongs to me, its in my heart, mind and soul. When you break up you give up enough pieces of those, I refuse to give up the music too.

I'm writing this because I'm curious if anybody else is feeling/has felt this.

 

Being a musician, music and especially lyrics have always been very important to me.

Music is my life...My income. It has taken me around the world several times....

My ex and I connected very deeply with music. We started our own DJ business around it and she was the drummer in our band at the time....

Do I know how you feel? Oh man....Do I know...!!

But yeh, over time I have reclaimed pretty much most of it back now....

In fact, crying is an important part of healing and sometimes I used to use certain songs to squeeze it out before I had to go to work etc....

Its a tough one for sure, especially those damn songs that have you running for the car from the supermarket (lol), but yeh, you'll get there...

I've been alone ever since my ex jumped horses and music is actually my comfort and my big love once again*

Ever Forward

K2* 8)

No Radiohead??? Noooo... come back to the light.

It took a while for me, but I now listen to the stuff that both me and him liked. We had the same tastes except for a few bands and I was not going to let him take my love of music away.

Now Tv shows... are another matter.

Thanks guys. It's just a bummer because there are a ton of songs that I can't listen to. They're not necessarily songs that we both liked. Most of them are just songs that are, to me, reminders of him and our relationship.

Can't listen to Van Morrison anymore. Can't listen to Old Crow Medicine Show. Can't listen to "Beast of Burden" by The Stones. Can't listen to "Dyer Myker" by Led Zep. And if there is a song that I hear and it reminds me of him, I turn the channel or skip on my iPod. I hope to be able to listen to these groups/songs again. Right now, I don't. Oh and I am sure that he will NEVER listen to another Doors song again! LOL!!!

Here's a good one -

I got a call today, I didn't want to hear,

But I knew that it would come.

Ol' true friend of ours, talking on the phone,

Said you found someone.

And I thought of all the bad luck, and struggles we've been through,

And how I lost me, and you lost you,

What are all those voices, outside loves open door,

Make us throw off our contentment,

And beg for something more

I'm learning to live without you now, but I miss you sometimes,

The more I know, the less I understand,

All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning all again.

I've been trying to get down, to the heart of the matter,

But my will gets weak, and my heart seems to shatter,

But I think its about, forgiveness, forgiveness,

Even if, even if, you don't love me anymore

In a previous break up, I could not hear that song "Sorry I'm bad, Sorry I'm good, sorry 'bout all the things I said to you..." without tearing my guts up from the inside.

So here I am going through my current break up, haven't heard it in a couple years since it's not all over the radio anymore, it comes on one day and for the five minutes it was on I felt NOTHING.

It was an interesting moment amidst all the tears.

I'm the same way. I'm very deeply connected with the music I listen to, and I haven't been able to really listen to any artists we were into, especially Jason Mraz (the first time he told me he loved me was during one of his concerts).

I hope to someday be okay to listen to them again.

Saturation works for me to reclaim songs. I just listen to them over and over while I'm going about my business and eventually the old associations are replaced.