boltnrun

I can see both sides. I went out to lunch with male coworkers multiple times and most of the time they insisted on paying. My husband would congratulate me on getting a free meal and ask what I'd ordered (and then teased me if I had a bowl of soup or a salad...he thought I should have gone with the steak sandwich!) No jealousy or feeling insecure or territorial or whatever. But I could also see that accepting money could seem inappropriate. None of my male coworkers gave me money. I agree that there seems to be a lot of tension regarding social media use in this relationship. You two might not be compatible.

No way. His humor is not funny. I wouldn't go.

Everyone you know was a stranger at some point. Then as you got to know them they became acquaintances or even friends. Have fun!

Sounds like you want your therapist to like you. No, not in "that way" but as a person. Which I kind of get, but it's also irrelevant. I really like the therapist I worked with most recently because we accomplished a lot in our sessions. But my previous therapist was good and I found it important that we share the same political views, but she wasn't nearly as effective as the most recent one.

No more vacations! Today was a crap show especially in the afternoon, when five different people were giving me instructions on how to do something. I told them they need to get together and give me ONE list of what they need and how they need it done. And that is why we have standard work which these five people chose not to follow (with my manager's OK, BTW). Ugh. No more vacations. Kidding. Sort of.

She will keep the both of you in her orbit if you allow it. If you're fine with being her back-up/guy on the side or her secret that's certainly a choice you're allowed to make.

He didn't just lie at the first meet. He chose to continue the deception even when asked. And when there was finally irrefutable evidence he made excuses and responded selfishly. Yes, he did choose to lie so he could date younger women. His motivations were self-serving. It wasn't a "mistake". I would wonder how he might choose to act if something else difficult came along such as losing a lot of money on a bet or smashing your car. I understand how much this must hurt. But again, this is not a reflection on you or your character. HE did this, not you.

Remember, his lying isn't your fault. It isn't a reflection on you. He CHOSE to deceive you. More than once. He had chances to come clean and he chose to continue to lie. And his excuses are BS. He wanted to date young women so he chose to lie? He could have described himself as "middle aged but youthful man seeks somewhat younger woman". Sure, that may have weeded out women who don't want to date middle aged men, but how did his lying work out for him? He hurt you, someone who didn't deserve to be hurt. I would not give him a third (or fourth, or whatever) chance. He knows lying is bad but selfishly did it anyway. That's a "nope" for me.

My Outlook and Teams status clearly showed I was out of the office on vacation last Thursday and Friday. And someone sent me an email Thursday afternoon that said they needed certain information (that would take me quite a while to research) within a half hour for a meeting! I hope the meeting went well for you, Person! The bad part of going on vacation is coming back to 70+ emails and a pile of tasks. I'll get it all done so no worries there but it's still a lot!

I'm confused... It seems initially you were talking about men, now you've shifted to talking about women who pretend to be "in distress". Who exactly is this thread directed at? Men who help women, or women who pretend to need help?

Why does it have to be negative?

I would hope someone who claims to love me would support my efforts to improve my health. If I started bike riding to get more physically fit would that be a "threat" to the relationship? What if I decided to eat more fruits and vegetables? What if I joined a walking group (that my partner doesn't care to join) and some of the participants are, God forbid, men? What if a couple of the men are attractive, would I be expected to quit the group to appease my partner? If my partner views me getting emotionally, mentally and/or physically healthy as a "threat" to our relationship they'll likely not be my partner for much longer.

The presumption seems to be the OP is seeing the therapist for "relationship issues". But what if he's not? What if the things he's trying to work out have nothing to do with his feelings about his relationship or about his girlfriend but are personal issues that could negatively affect his professional life, his interpersonal interactions or his love relationships? Not everyone who's partnered is seeing a therapist for relationship issues. My mental health issues have zero to do with my love relationships. I am working through childhood traumas that affect all facets of my life. If my partner demanded I stop therapy or insisted on me seeing a certain gender therapist I would wonder if they truly wanted me to be well.

So who unpacks immediately after they return from a trip? 🙋‍♀️ And who lets the suitcase or bag sit for a week? Or more? Or even leaves it in the car for days? I dislike disorder or clutter or things out of place.

That was her goal. She'll flip flop between tactics searching for whatever one gets her what she wants...you remaining as her sycophant, her admirer and her servant. You don't need the house key. You can add an additional lock or change the locks completely. And don't be surprised if she does show up at the Air BnB. She knows the location and the dates. If she wants you back as her plaything she'll do whatever it takes to make that happen.