Requiem to Relationship Dreams

Too often we buy into this misconception that relationships – of any kind—are for the “strong” and the “steadfast”. We believe that if you weren’t able to put your life together emotionally and mentally, then you’re too fragile and weak to be in any relationship. We think that if we don’t have our life together, or if we’re fighting inner demons, then we don’t deserve romantic prospects. We imagine that delving into any sort of relationship while our lives are still full-on chaos will only bring more chaos and destruction.

But how true is this exactly?

The truth is that relationships are a lot more complex than what they’re made out to be. It’s not just comprised of strength and resilience but it also takes its equal share of vulnerability and softness too. The right relationship can help those in its midst grow and evolve, instead of providing a sandpaper to the cracks left by our struggles. In fact, such purest forms of intimacy provide so much healing that many of us don’t even realize it. Though it’s easy to forget it in the heat of an argument or any other petty squabble, relationships are bound to involve deep levels of connections and tenderness. Developing such tiers of closeness comes with risks – it may trigger our deepest insecurities and pain – but it can also instill a sense of safety, kindness, and ultimately heal. Just imagine being held after a long night of intense crying, accepting that things are hard now as well as acknowledging that maybe someday will be okay. That in itself can be therapeutic on so many levels.

At the same time, however, this doesn’t mean that it’s necessarily the time for us to be boxing ourselves into any sort of labels. If you’re in the middle of fighting inner demons, maybe it’s time to take a timeout from putting pressure on yourself to have a more put-together self. Instead, maybe pour yourself a cup of warmth as you slowly start sifting through the mess of emotions and thoughts. Being single is also perfectly okay, sometimes even preferable due to its freedom and independence it can provide. Life can throw plenty of heartfelt moments, big victories and meaningful experiences even without having someone to share it with. There’s beauty in the solo adventure too – go on a spontaneous hike, snag your dream job, make a last-minute getaway. Explore the idea of you, as you already stand, can be magical.

Relationships should come second to healing yourself and setting your own boundaries. Sure, they can enrich our lives and shift them on an emotional level, but setting expectations on something you haven’t received yet can only torture us. the most important thing is that we learn to love and take care of ourselves and our inner spirit, the one that needs presence and warmth more than anything else. With that in mind, relationships are for those who simply have their hearts open first and will welcome it only afterwards. Shedding all of our egos and filters down, we can come back to a place of knowing that love will come when we’re ready for it. Then, eventually, the puzzle of us will present what it was created to become – a beautiful and vibrant kaleidoscope of color and light that can take the shape of whatever relationship we truly desire.