How Can I Make Sure I Avoid Being Alone Forever?

Dear eNotAlone: I'm scared I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life. I'm 23 years old, and I haven't been in a relationship for nearly three years. Normally I'm independent, supportive, funny and full of life, but because I'm single, I find myself getting more and more anxious by the thought that I might stay unmarried forever. I feel like the years are quickly passing by and I'm not doing anything to make sure I won't be alone. What can I do to ensure I don't end up alone?

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It's understandable to feel anxious when you've been single for an extended period of time, especially when you compare yourself to your peers and it seems like everyone you know is in relationships. But, it is important to remember that desire for intimacy and connection can't be forced, and simply because you may be at an age where many people are beginning to sign long-term commitments doesn't mean you should settle or try to rush into a relationship.

The first thing to understand is that there is nothing wrong with being single, and that it is actually a great opportunity to focus on finding fulfillment within yourself. When you develop an understanding of what makes you truly happy and content, then you can determine whether someone is right for you and potential romantic partner.

A great way to approach this process is to work on self-discovery. This could involve trying out new hobbies, engaging in introspective activities such as journaling, discovering what kind of environment and situation best suits you and allows you to thrive, making a list of qualities you'd like in a partner, and so on. if you find yourself often feeling lonely or fearful, it might be useful to connect with friends and family who can provide support.

The next step is to broaden your social circle. You can start by interacting with people online, such as joining dating websites, creating groups or forums with people who have similar interests or hobbies, or joining virtual conversations on sites such as Reddit or Twitter. Following that, you can also join local meetups, take classes, or reach out to an old college friend who lives nearby—all good ways to mix up your routine and meet new people.

Once you have established a social circle or met someone you're interested in, the key is to be patient. It takes time to get to know someone in a meaningful way and to discover if they're compatible with you. Be mindful that a relationship doesn't guarantee happiness, and make sure that primarily you are engaged in activities and conversations that bring you joy.