Gratitude Expressed Differently By Men And Women

By Margarita Nahapetyan

Gratitude, thankfulness, or appreciation is a positive emotion or attitude when individuals acknowledge a benefit of receiving help, depending on their interpretation of the situation. To be more specific, individuals are more likely to experience the emotion when the help they receive is perceived by them as valuable, beneficial or costly. Gratitude is also shown towards honesty, trustworthiness, and demonstration of integrity and cooperation.

When people are encountering similar situations where they have been given help, different individuals view the situation in different ways when it comes to value, cost, and benevolent intentions. All this may explain why people feel differing levels of gratitude after getting some help. In general, individuals who feel more gratefulness in life, tend to interpret help as more costly, more beneficial, and more beneficially intended. Therefore, this habitual prejudice could make it more understandable as to why some people feel more gratitude than others.

Men are less likely to express gratitude because they believe that it is not manly to express softer emotions. On the contrary, women are more emotionally vulnerable and expressive, they tend to show their feelings more frequently, and are more likely to benefit from expressing gratitude. Women, in general, way better maintain their relationships with other people, compared to men, because they are able to better share and express their emotions. This pays off pretty well because this way women are more likely to receive support and understanding from others, and as a result are given the opportunity to express gratitude for the help. They may also experience stress for shorter periods of time compared to men, because they are willing to look and ask for help. Men always try to cope with problematic issues alone, and have a wrong impression that seeking help is a sign of weakness. This all means that man deny themselves opportunities to get help and, therefore, the ability to express gratitude.

Todd Kashdan, an associate Professor, who teaches Psychology at George Mason University, Virginia, says that gratitude, the emotion of thankfulness and joy in response to receiving a gift, is the best way to stay happy and healthy. Scientist has also discovered that when it comes to feeling grateful, women are more likely to feel and express the emotion than men.

To come up wit this conclusion, Dr. Kashdan and his colleagues examined and analyzed differences in both genders' expression of gratitude, based on three recent studies. They appraised: 1) how gratitude is being expressed; 2) the variety of possible ways how individuals experience thankfulness in their lives; 3) how the benefits of gratefulness differ between male and female.

In one of the studies, Kashdan interviewed college age students and older adults. They all were asked to describe and evaluate the most recent episode when they received a gift. Interviews that have involved just students showed that young ladies felt more grateful when receiving presents, compared to young men. Men, in their turn, felt somehow obligated rather than grateful at the time of getting a gift. As to older men, they had negative attitude towards presents that were given to them by other men. The results showed that men could be limiting their ability to feel happy. According to Kashdan, when boys, in general, grow up, they are taught to hide and control their emotions, which, at a later time, could be affecting and limiting their well-being.

The scientist named three elements that are very important for creating happiness and making a life full of meaning - this includes gratitude, strong and healthy relationships, and living in the present, with an attitude of openness and curiosity. He said that previous research on this matter showed that there may be differences between two genders, and therefore, there is a need to conduct more investigation in order to find out why. Karshdan says that even a very small effect could be of a great importance in the long run.

Dr. Kashdan teaches the science of happiness to his students. He has been helping his students experience more meaning and greater joy in life since 2000. His book Curious? in which he explains how every individual can feel more positive, is due for release in April, 2009.

The new study is published online this week at the Journal of Personality.