Saying Goodbye After Four Years: How to Find Closure in the Biggest Transitions

Everyone has experienced goodbyes in their lives. It can be hard to know when it's time to move on, whether it be from a relationship, job, or anything you have invested in for a long period of time. For many, deciding to leave can be one of the hardest and longest-lasting decisions of your life. But remaining stagnant in a familiar situation when it's no longer beneficial can be even more difficult.

Four years is a long time. It's a long enough period that you become comfortable in a certain environment, be it with a person or a thing. You become accustomed to certain situations and how they make you feel, and after a while, it can become normal. Logically, when you remain attached to something or someone for too long, it can begin to create a sense of complacency. This can make it feel like you're no longer achieving – or even worse, thriving. Being comfortable isn't necessarily a bad thing– however it does become a problem when you don't grow as an individual. After all, growth is something everyone should strive for and maintain.

But, saying goodbye can be incredibly daunting, both mentally and emotionally. The idea of transitioning onto something new brings an element of uncertainty which can be frightening. These steps can look different depending on the situation – often, they're part of a process which allows us to accept the situation and move on. It's usually a combination of gaining closure, understanding the change, and ultimately preparing for the future.

Finding Closure

When we realize we must say goodbye to something – or someone – that we've grown close to, the idea of closure becomes even more important. In reflection, gaining closure can take many forms: further communication, understanding and learning from our experiences, and making decisions which benefit us in the long-term.

Different people will take different approaches, depending on both the situation and the individual. However, spending time with yourself and exploring the losses within your relationship can be immensely helpful. Whether talking to a friend, journaling, reading books, or indulging in art, allowing yourself to express and discover will help the transition to feel less transformative – oftentimes, it can provide comfort, clarity, and newfound knowledge.

Understanding and Embracing Change

Closure isn't the only aspect of saying goodbye. Many people find it reassuring to understand the change they're going through – this way, it feels like they're staying in control despite the circumstance. Understanding the change can look differently for everyone – sometimes it can be replaced with structure and plans, while other times its more comforting to adopt a ‘go with the flow' mentality.

Moreover, finding passion during these moments is key. When you experience change in your life, it can be helpful to channel your excitement into something that make you feel productive and inspired. Whether it's developing a hobby, dabbling in photography, or writing, there are plenty of ways to fill the void. At the same time, its important to not pressure yourself - instead, setting personal goals and engaging in activities that make you happy is important for the more immediate transition, making for a much smoother exit come those inevitable goodbyes. Learning through your emotions, dealing with them openly and without judgement, can be incredibly liberating.

Thinking Ahead

Most of us tend to go from one big commitment to another. Our ambitions can often supersede our accomplishments, and while this isn't necessarily wrong, it's important to prepare for the journey ahead. Regardless of what lies ahead, keeping an open mind and having patience is key.

When you say goodbye, it doesn't mean starting anew. A lot of the time, its about letting go, but still remembering the corners of the moments that made everything blossom. Life moves quickly, and while it can be hard to live in the present. Our experiences guide us and mould us, piece by piece, and when things don't move as fast as we would like, it's important to take a big exhale and encourage our ideas to catch up.

Transitions are universal — some bring joy and others bring pain. But what makes them significant is the lessons we learn and the courage we gain once we're ready to face the next door. Saying goodbye can be tough, especially when it comes after four years. But ultimately, it can be a means of personal growth, providing clarity both mentally and emotionally.