Marriage Go Round: 10 Stages (Learn and Overcome)

The Unexpected Turns of the 'Marriage Go Round'

The term "Marriage Go Round" paints a picture of a whimsical carousel, but anyone who has been married for any length of time knows that the reality is far more complex. It is a journey with its fair share of twists and turns, highs and lows, and unexpected challenges. It is an adventure that demands not only love but also patience, understanding, and a readiness to grow both individually and as a couple.

I have had the privilege of accompanying numerous couples on their journey through the 'Marriage Go Round.' In my experience, every marriage, though unique, follows a series of common stages. Understanding these stages can be a valuable guide, helping couples anticipate the changes they might experience and navigate them with grace and resilience.

In this article, we'll explore the 10 unexpected stages in the 'Marriage Go Round.' From the exhilarating rush of newfound love to the deep, comfortable companionship of later years, each stage brings its own challenges and rewards. Whether you're on the brink of entering into marriage or find yourself deep within its labyrinth, this guide is designed to provide insights and practical advice that can help you navigate your unique relationship journey.

So, let's buckle up and embark on this exciting, enriching, and sometimes perplexing journey. Here's to making the ride of the 'Marriage Go Round' a fulfilling adventure!

Stage 1: The Blissful Beginnings (Honeymoon Phase)

The first stage of the 'Marriage Go Round' is what most people fondly refer to as the "Honeymoon Phase". During this time, couples often experience an intense rush of emotions, characterized by deep infatuation, physical passion, and an almost blissful disregard for potential problems or conflicts. This stage is typified by a sense of complete harmony and a strong desire to spend every waking moment together.

The honeymoon phase often plays a crucial role in bonding and forming a strong emotional connection between partners. However, it is essential to remember that this stage, captivating as it may be, is not designed to last forever. As the relationship matures, so does the nature of love and companionship. While the intensity of feelings may simmer down, this transition can pave the way for a more profound, substantial, and enduring connection.

This stage's primary challenge lies in managing expectations. Some couples find it difficult to adjust as the euphoria of the honeymoon phase wanes. They may mistake the natural evolution of their relationship as a sign of dwindling love or affection. However, it's important to understand that love doesn't reduce but merely changes form. It becomes less about grand gestures and more about subtle expressions of affection, trust, and mutual respect.

My advice is to cherish the honeymoon phase but also to embrace the changes that come thereafter. Recognize the deepening of your bond and the evolution of your relationship as signs of growth rather than deterioration. And most importantly, remember that just as the carousel of the 'Marriage Go Round' continues to turn, so does the nature of your love.

Stage 2: Reality Check (Dealing with Differences)

After the honeymoon phase subsides, couples move into the second stage of the 'Marriage Go Round': the Reality Check. This stage marks the transition from a realm of idealized love to a realm where differences and disagreements come to the surface. The "rose-colored glasses" come off, and partners start noticing each other's habits, quirks, and viewpoints that might have been previously overlooked or ignored.

This phase can be challenging as it requires couples to confront differences and work through conflicts. It's during this stage that some of the key issues of a relationship, such as finances, personal habits, and communication styles, might surface. Additionally, external factors like work pressures and familial obligations can add to the tension.

However, contrary to what one might expect, this stage isn't necessarily a bad thing. It provides an opportunity for couples to learn more about each other, to communicate openly, and to build stronger foundations for their relationship. Learning to address conflicts, negotiate differences, and work as a team is an integral part of building a successful, lasting marriage.

Here's a piece of advice from my years as a relationship coach: embrace the 'Reality Check' phase. It's a challenging but crucial stage in the 'Marriage Go Round.' It offers a chance to grow individually and as a couple. Use this phase to develop healthy communication habits, learn conflict resolution skills, and foster a mutual understanding. Remember, the goal isn't to avoid disagreements but to learn how to navigate them constructively.

Stage 3: Sustained Commitment (Staying Power)

After riding through the intense emotions of the honeymoon phase and weathering the storms of the reality check, couples enter the third stage of the 'Marriage Go Round': Sustained Commitment. This phase is characterized by a deep understanding of each other's personalities, strengths, weaknesses, and a willingness to stick together through thick and thin.

The sustained commitment stage is all about 'staying power.' Couples learn to appreciate their differences, show resilience in the face of challenges, and remain committed to their relationship. It's a time when love is not just a feeling but a conscious choice made every day.

At this point, couples have likely navigated some significant life events together, such as career changes, financial ups and downs, or starting a family. These shared experiences, both the trials and the triumphs, help to solidify the bond between partners and create a shared history and sense of unity.

The most vital aspect of this stage is the development of trust, reliability, and emotional security. Couples learn to rely on each other, to provide support during tough times, and to celebrate together during moments of joy and accomplishment.

My advice for this stage is to continually nourish your relationship. Make time for each other, communicate openly, and find joy in your shared experiences. Stay patient and supportive during challenging times, and celebrate each other's successes. Remember, a long-lasting, fulfilling marriage is not built in a day. It takes time, effort, and a whole lot of love. So, keep riding the 'Marriage Go Round' with determination and a shared commitment to your journey together.

Stage 4: Deepening Connection (The Dance of Intimacy)

The fourth stage of the 'Marriage Go Round' marks a period of Deepening Connection. This is when couples move beyond the surface-level interactions and dive deeper into each other's worlds. It's a period characterized by the strengthening of emotional intimacy, trust, and understanding. As couples learn to share their fears, hopes, dreams, and vulnerabilities, they form a connection that transcends the physical and delves into the emotional and spiritual realms.

During the Deepening Connection stage, couples become more attuned to each other's needs and feelings. They understand each other's non-verbal cues and can often communicate without words. This unspoken bond often creates a unique rhythm, a dance of intimacy that's unique to each couple. It's a beautiful stage of the marriage where couples often feel deeply connected and in sync.

However, deepening connection doesn't mean losing oneself in the relationship. It's essential to maintain individual identities and interests. A healthy relationship respects individuality while nurturing the shared bond. It's about the balance of "me," "you," and "us."

Here's my advice as a relationship coach: Cherish the Deepening Connection phase. It's a rich and rewarding part of the 'Marriage Go Round.' This stage is a beautiful opportunity to not only know your partner on a deeper level but also to explore and express your authentic self. Practice open, honest communication, show empathy, and nurture your emotional connection. And most importantly, keep dancing to the rhythm of your unique dance of intimacy.

Stage 5: Weathering the Storms (Resilience in Action)

The fifth stage of the 'Marriage Go Round' is arguably one of the most challenging: Weathering the Storms. Life isn't always sunshine and rainbows; it often brings storms that can strain even the strongest relationships. This stage is about navigating life's inevitable ups and downs – health issues, financial stress, parenting struggles, or even the loss of loved ones.

During this stage, the strength and resilience of a couple's bond are put to the test. It requires a willingness to face adversity together and support each other. However difficult, these moments can serve to deepen your connection, allowing you to witness your partner's strength and resilience firsthand and fostering a profound sense of appreciation and respect.

Although no one wishes for hardships, it's essential to understand that challenges are part of life's journey. I've observed that couples who can successfully weather life's storms together often emerge stronger, with a reinforced sense of commitment and deeper mutual understanding.

The key to navigating this stage is resilience, open communication, and mutual support. It's about realizing that you're a team and that together, you can weather any storm that life throws your way. Remember, it's not the challenges that define your relationship, but how you face them together.

My advice for this stage: Remain steadfast and patient. Learn to lean on each other during tough times, and don't forget to celebrate when the sun shines again. The 'Marriage Go Round' will continue to turn, and every storm passed will leave you stronger, more resilient, and deeply interconnected. So, hold on tight and remember that you're in this journey together.

Stage 6: The Golden Years (Cherishing the Journey)

After weathering the storms, couples enter the sixth stage of the 'Marriage Go Round': The Golden Years. This stage is marked by a sense of contentment and deep appreciation for the shared journey. It's a period when couples can look back at their shared history, reminisce about the trials and triumphs, and appreciate the deep bond they've nurtured over the years.

The Golden Years is a phase of reflection and gratitude. It's when couples truly realize how far they've come, how much they've grown, and how their love has matured. While physical appearances may have changed, the connection at the heart of the relationship remains strong and enduring.

This phase isn't devoid of challenges. Issues related to health, retirement, or the prospect of an empty nest can create new obstacles. However, the resilience and mutual understanding developed over the years equip couples to navigate these challenges successfully.

I've often found that couples in the Golden Years demonstrate a deep sense of mutual respect and admiration. They understand the value of the time spent together and cherish their shared memories. They've learned to appreciate not just the high points but also the struggles, recognizing that every moment on the 'Marriage Go Round' has contributed to their unique, enduring bond.

My advice for this stage: Enjoy and appreciate the Golden Years. Reflect on your shared journey, celebrate your enduring bond, and continue to make beautiful memories. The ride on the 'Marriage Go Round' is filled with ups and downs, twists and turns, but every moment contributes to your unique love story. So, cherish the journey, and remember, the golden glow of enduring love is worth every twist and turn.

Stage 7: Rekindling the Flame (Rediscovering Each Other)

After riding the 'Marriage Go Round' through the blissful honeymoon stage, confronting reality checks, committing to the journey, deepening the connection, weathering life's storms, and cherishing the golden years, couples enter the seventh stage: Rekindling the Flame. This stage is about rediscovering each other, finding new dimensions of connection, and keeping the flame of love alive and vibrant.

This stage can occur at any point in a marriage, and it can happen more than once. It's about reigniting the spark that drew you together in the first place, reminding yourselves why you fell in love, and recommitting to the journey ahead. It could be triggered by a significant life event, like becoming empty-nesters, or it could stem from a desire to keep the relationship fresh and exciting.

Rekindling the flame requires effort and intention. It means taking the time to date each other again, to surprise each other, to remind each other of the love and attraction that's at the core of your relationship. It might involve revisiting the places you've loved, exploring new interests together, or simply spending quality time appreciating each other's company.

I've observed that couples who actively seek to rekindle their flame not only maintain the vitality of their relationship but also find new dimensions of love and understanding. This stage reinforces the notion that love is not a static feeling but a dynamic journey of growth and discovery.

My advice for this stage: Embrace the opportunity to rediscover each other. Keep your relationship fresh and exciting by exploring new experiences together, expressing your love in novel ways, and reminding yourselves why you chose this ride on the 'Marriage Go Round.' Remember, the journey of love doesn't have a final destination – it's about continual growth, discovery, and deepening connection.

Stage 8: Lifelong Learning (Continuous Growth)

The eighth and final stage on the 'Marriage Go Round' is Lifelong Learning. This stage embodies the idea that a successful marriage is a journey of continuous growth and mutual discovery. It's about constantly learning from each other, from your shared experiences, and using this knowledge to enhance your relationship.

During the Lifelong Learning stage, couples realize that they will never fully 'arrive.' There's always more to discover, more to understand, and more to appreciate about each other. It's a beautiful acknowledgement that you are both evolving individuals and, consequently, your relationship is a dynamic entity that grows and changes over time.

This stage involves active curiosity, openness, and adaptability. It means being curious about your partner's thoughts, feelings, and experiences. It's about being open to their perspectives and willing to adapt based on new insights. Lifelong Learning is all about maintaining an attitude of discovery, keeping the relationship vibrant and dynamic.

I believe the Lifelong Learning stage is key to a fulfilling, long-lasting marriage. Couples who embrace the idea of continual growth tend to be more adaptable, more resilient, and more deeply connected. They see their marriage not as a static contract, but as a vibrant, evolving partnership.

My advice for this stage: Never stop learning. Stay curious about each other, embrace changes, and cherish the opportunity for continuous growth. The 'Marriage Go Round' never truly ends; it offers endless opportunities for learning, discovery, and deeper connection. So, keep exploring, keep growing, and enjoy the ride.

Stage 9: Graceful Transitions (Adapting to Change)

While the 'Marriage Go Round' is a cyclical journey, it's essential to acknowledge that some stages aren't a mere turn of the wheel but significant shifts that require adaptation and flexibility. Thus, the ninth stage is about Graceful Transitions. It's a phase that encapsulates all those moments where couples must navigate significant changes, be it the birth of a child, a shift in career, the transition to retirement, or even the loss of a loved one.

The Graceful Transitions stage is all about adaptation and growth. It's a time where the dynamics of the relationship may change, and couples must learn to navigate these shifts gracefully. It's about remaining flexible, understanding, and supportive as both individuals and the relationship evolve.

This stage can be challenging, as change often is. However, it's important to understand that change is a natural part of life and relationships. Transitions offer opportunities for growth, new experiences, and deeper connection. With each transition, couples can learn more about each other and about their shared strengths and resilience.

I encourage couples to embrace these transitions. They're part of the ride on the 'Marriage Go Round.' It's about adapting, growing, and moving forward together, no matter what life throws your way.

My advice for this stage: Welcome change with open arms. Be patient, understanding, and supportive with each other. Embrace the opportunity to grow together through these transitions. Remember, the 'Marriage Go Round' isn't always a smooth ride, but with every turn, you grow stronger and more connected. So, hold on tight, and treasure every moment of this incredible journey.

Stage 10: Legacy and Renewal (Looking Forward and Backward)

The tenth and final stage of the 'Marriage Go Round' is about Legacy and Renewal. This stage encapsulates the essence of a long-term commitment, where couples not only reflect on the life they've built together but also look forward to their shared future.

During the Legacy and Renewal stage, couples often find themselves contemplating the legacy they've created and the impact they've had on each other's lives. It's a time for deep introspection, appreciation, and gratitude for the shared journey. This introspection often provides renewed commitment and energy for the relationship, sparking a sense of excitement and anticipation for what the future holds.

This stage also involves preparing for the next generation, passing on wisdom and experiences, and setting the foundation for a lasting legacy. It's a profound recognition of the life you've built together and a commitment to nurturing and preserving that legacy for future generations.

I find the Legacy and Renewal stage to be a testament to the enduring power of love and commitment. It's a beautiful reminder of how far you've come on the 'Marriage Go Round,' and the profound influence you've had on each other's lives.

My advice for this stage: Take time to reflect on your journey, appreciate the legacy you're building, and look forward to your shared future. Recognize the incredible ride you've had on the 'Marriage Go Round,' and remember that every experience has shaped your unique, enduring love story. So, cherish the past, embrace the present, and look forward to the future with hope, joy, and love.

Wrapping Up: Keep Riding the 'Marriage Go Round'

Marriage is a journey, not a destination. It's a ride filled with highs and lows, twists and turns, joyous celebrations, and challenging trials. But each stage of the 'Marriage Go Round' offers unique opportunities for growth, deeper connection, and mutual understanding.

I encourage you to embrace each stage of your journey. Cherish the blissful beginnings, navigate the reality checks, commit to staying the course, deepen your connection, weather the storms, and relish in the golden years. Every stage offers its own lessons, challenges, and rewards.

Remember, the 'Marriage Go Round' is not just about enduring the ride but enjoying it. It's about appreciating each twist and turn, every rise and fall. So, hold on tight, keep your eyes forward, and cherish every moment of this beautiful journey called marriage.

Further Reading

If you'd like to delve deeper into the world of relationships and marriages, here are a few resources that you might find helpful:

• "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work" by John Gottman: This book offers practical guidance and strategies to navigate the different stages of marriage.
• "The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate" by Gary Chapman: This resource helps couples understand and communicate their love more effectively.
• "Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love" by Dr. Sue Johnson: This book offers insight into the science of love and provides practical advice for deepening connection and understanding in a relationship.