Don't know how to feel about the relationship anymore! Please help!

Hi Ya'll!

I was hoping that you would be able to offer some positive words or explain how my situation could be helped. So here's the story: I have been dating my boyfriend for about 7 months now. A couple of weeks ago things blew up. We were just laying around and i noticed that he was being a bit strange so i asked if everything was ok.. and thats when all hell broke loose...

He started off by saying that he had been thinking for a couple weeks about us and that he wasn't sure because he cant always see a future with me but sometimes he can.. and that he feels overwhelmed... I realized that this could be the increased amount of time we spent together.. (went from 1 or 2 times a week when i was at school to almost everyday during the summer) and mentioned that... anyways, during this talk we were both really upset and he noted that he has an issue with communicating and bottling everything up.. at first it sounded like he was breaking up with me but the more we talked it didnt... still kinda felt like it..

we didn't break up and later that night when i had calmed down i called and asked if he really wanted to be with me or if it was just us living on borrowed time. he was insistent that he wanted to be with me and from then on he has been very good with treating me well and such.. the only thing is that i feel broken by the whole thing.. like when I'm alone at night i replay the whole thing in my mind.. i freak out inside that if i haven't heard from him in a day that he is ignoring me, or that when he goes away for a weekend he wont miss me.. how do i get past this? I really do want to be with him and before this everything was completely amazing?

i should also note that I have met his family multiple times and vice versa. He treats me better than anyone i had been with before and we always have such a good time together. He has already graduated college and now works as an engineer. I still have a year and a half left of school but this isnt a long distance relationship. This was our first snag in the road. He is basically acting like nothing happened.. i know i cant expect him to keep saying sorry.. could it be that he momentarily freaked out and now thinks nothing of it?

Back off a little bit. Show him that you can live without him and can get better. Limit your texting and contact and go out with friends etc. It's normal for him to freak out but it's also important to build value in regards to you and also the fear of loss in him. Human in general (subconsciously) don't like to feel to comfortable especially those who like a challenge.

i freak out inside that if i haven't heard from him in a day that he is ignoring me, or that when he goes away for a weekend he wont miss me.. how do i get past this?

This is the stuff that will smother him away from the relationship. You went from a comforatble dating distance to 'everyday soup' and that's suffocating.

I'd pull back and invest in developing my own life, interests, friendships and family ties. If you don't cultivate a more well rounded life, it sounds like BF is going to tire of this togetherness thing real fast.

Let the pressure out of the cooker. Don't take the temperature of the relationship all the time--give it room to expand to both of you enjoying healthy lives apart from one another. That's what healthy couples do--so when they come together they enjoy one another instead of ruminating over how one is starting to feel squelched by the other.

Head high.

It's been seven months and the honeymoon period has worn off. This is the point where a relationship either deepens or tanks and it sounds like you need to back off and go back to living your own life for a bit and let him decide if he wants to deepen things or move on. That means you go out with your friends, go see your family, pull back and see what happens. And if you see that he's cooled things off in spite of his insistence he hasn't then end it and walk away. It may be he's just scared to be alone, it may be it got to be too much, it may be any one of a thousand things, but you need to make sure you have a good life firmly in place and the attitude that you aren't waiting around for him to live that life. He can either share it and be fully on board or you will end things and find someone who does want all that.