Why don't men ask me out if people think I'm pretty?

My female friends and male friends are always telling me i'm beautiful but the guys I'm attracted to don't approach me or ask me out on dates. Why is this?

If I'm so pretty like my friends say wouldn't attractive men want to date me?

I try and carry myself well and take care of myself physically but i'm not at all as self confident as people think I am. I don't feel anywhere near as beautiful as my friends claim I am.

I just want an attractive man to like me, tell me I'm beautiful and not just want to hook up with me.

Yet it seems like men just want ass, not to actually get to know me and care about me.

Are there really guys out there who want to love me?

Have you tried wanting to love someone?

I definitely want to love someone! I want support someone and help build them up. Help someone achieve their dreams, as corny as that sounds. I want to be there for someone I really care about.

Not to be rude, but friends and family are usually bias, especially when it comes to someone's self-esteem. I have no idea how you look, but I don't ever recall a friend telling their friend that they were ugly. It's just not "right" to state that. It's like these horrible singers who go on American idol. They tell the judges that their family and friends wouldn't lie to them about their voice. YES they would, and will. Again, this doesn't really apply to you specifically. I am just stating that friends and family will always be more optimistic, rather than realistic.

On a more positive note, yes, I'm sure there are plenty of guys that are willing to love you. And not because of your appearance or just wanting to hook up, but love you for who you are as a person. Everyone is afraid of rejection, which is why guys have a hard time approaching women. Don't think you are the problem. Even the most insecure girl will not get approach by guys due to fear of rejection. It's just the way it is.

You shouldn't base your beauty on whether or not an "attractive" man tells you. You should feel it for yourself, and people will recognize it. Embrace who you are, be confident NOT arrogant. There's a fine line between the two.

Ok, lets make a deal, you put up a profile pic, and then I can say if you friends are just saying that to make you feel good, or if you are truly beautiful (at least in my eyes, different ppl different tastes), how about it then you would have an attractive man to tell you, that you are beautiful... or not lol.

Well jokes aside, it depends a lot what type of guys you meet, and where. I mean, I think I am pretty attractive myself, but I haven't been exposed to that many girls that are the type I would have a relationship with, so obviously I won't be in a relationship.. well slim odds. So yeah, you need to think of what type of guy you want (you said not just a hook-up), and where these guys are, how you gonna meet them. And then think if you are the type of woman those guys would like. It is stating the obvious, but... the obvious is ... yeah right lol.

Also another thing. The hotter you are, the more losers there will be around you to try and get a piece of your body, and you can fairly easily tell that they are not interested in you as a person, as you have already done. Don't let that make you think that just cuz of that no men will ever appreciate your personality. Just need the right guy for the right woman (ain't that always the case lol?).

Why are you so focused on getting an attractive man to love you, why not a good nice man who appreciates and would do anything to protect you and make you happy?

i don't know what you look like, but it's all about attitude. i see not so pretty women getting married all the time, so i don't think that attractiveness always plays a role. part of it is approachability - are you meeting new guys? do you look happy? are you with a huge posse? most guys won't approach you if you are with 29 of your friends. but if it's just you and another friend or 2, they might be more likely. smile and relax.

Because men are people and people can tell when they are being labeled or categorized and generally don't like it. If a man senses negativity -that you think most or all men are just interested in sex - that often is a turn off both because it's not true and it shows that you're not regarding him as an individual.

I am reasonably attractive but never thought that my looks were enough to find a good match and someone who liked me just because of my looks would not be a good match. What kinds of things do you like to do and do you participate in? Do you do volunteer work/play or watch a sport/dance? Are you in a book club or a hiking club? If you met an attractive man tomorrow, what topics would you talk about?

Are you interested in any of them? Guys usually don't ask me out unless I show them interest, even though they are attracted to me. You have to meet these guys half way.

yea, i have to co-sign with what pinkelephant said. in my case, most girls will usually make the first move with the whole eye contact, body language, little suddle stuff like that. then it's up to the guy to finish the job by approaching them. that part is not easy for some guys, especially me. but if you try that, that may help hopefully.

I'm kinda in the same boat and have been for a long time. I get people - friends and coworkers mostly, asking why I'm single, that I am marriage material, that I would be a great father, and that I'm good looking, but those comments come from older women or girls in relationships. Yet I never get signs or approached.

Are you flirting? Giving them signs that you are interested?

Cold approaches are rare. And are rarely done by nice guys.

Are you flirting? Giving them signs that you are interested?

 

Cold approaches are rare. And are rarely done by nice guys.

This really needs to stop haha. I'm constantly labelled as a "player" or just wanting sex. People say it's because of how in shape I am which is just ridiculous. I have no issue with people judging other people (I think it's necessary) but people need to judge based on each individual.

This really needs to stop haha. I'm constantly labelled as a "player" or just wanting sex. People say it's because of how in shape I am which is just ridiculous. I have no issue with people judging other people (I think it's necessary) but people need to judge based on each individual.

I was I judging you?

In my experience, cold approaches are done vulgarly or by guys using pick up techniques such as insulting the woman to get her to seek approval. Only once or twice have I been cold approached by nice guys and even then they didn't ask for my number or ask me out until we got to know each other and flirted with each other.

It's a myth that women just need to be present and pretty to get a date. You have to actively try.

I was I judging you?

 

In my experience, cold approaches are done vulgarly or by guys using pick up techniques such as insulting the woman to get her to seek approval. Only once or twice have I been cold approached by nice guys and even then they didn't ask for my number or ask me out until we got to know each other and flirted with each other.

 

It's a myth that women just need to be present and pretty to get a date. You have to actively try.

I know you aren't judging me personally, I just think it's wrong that you assume guys who approach girls aren't nice guys. Pickup techniques are simply the application of social psychology. They're road maps for guys who lack confidence that often stems from "not knowing what so say". It's insulting the way it is described, but seeking approval is exactly what people do with people they're attracted to. You can't respect somebody who kisses your ass it's just the way it is.

I know you aren't judging me personally, I just think it's wrong that you assume guys who approach girls aren't nice guys. Pickup techniques are simply the application of social psychology. They're road maps for guys who lack confidence that often stems from "not knowing what so say". It's insulting the way it is described, but seeking approval is exactly what people do with people they're attracted to. You can't respect somebody who kisses your ass it's just the way it is.

I didn't say all, but definitely most aren't nice.

And I yes, insulting a woman so that she seek your approval is an extremely jerkish thing to do. I've seen guys try and advocate this. Not all of PUA stuff is mean or vulgar but some of it is. And I've experienced a lot of it.

I wish more nice guys would cold approach but that's simply too much to ask. Women have to flirt, they have to help guys out and make it easier for them. It's a lot to demand that near strangers risk embarrassment for a pretty face. And frankly a lot of guys need more than a pretty face to be interested. How will they see beyond the pretty face if women don't meet them halfway in starting the conversation?

I didn't say all, but definitely most aren't nice.

 

And I yes, insulting a woman so that she seek your approval is an extremely jerkish thing to do. I've seen guys try and advocate this. Not all of PUA stuff is mean or vulgar but some of it is. And I've experienced a lot of it.

 

I wish more nice guys would cold approach but that's simply too much to ask. Women have to flirt, they have to help guys out and make it easier for them. It's a lot to demand that near strangers risk embarrassment for a pretty face. And frankly a lot of guys need more than a pretty face to be interested. How will they see beyond the pretty face if women don't meet them halfway in starting the conversation?

I am a confident guy and personally don't mind putting in all the initial effort. That confidence mixed with the fact that I'm in elite physical shape gives me a bad first impression with girls and they think I do it all the time and I'm only interested in sex, it's silly. You say it's a lot to demand, but it's equally as much to demand of a girl if not more because of how society views the situation.

As far as the PUA stuff...I've studied it quite closely as a future psychologist interested in the subject. The insults you're referring to aren't really insults it's just teasing that a normal confident guy would do naturally. It boosts sexual tension. It doesn't come naturally to some guys so this PUA thing was introduced to help those guys. It sadly eliminates them being themselves but as Dr. P says in School for Scoundrels. "You can't help yourself because yourself sucks!" haha. It's sad, but it's a reality for some people.

ive been always wondering..if you always get unattractive men to chase you,does that mean you are unattractive too? even those men tell you you are beautiful?

ive been always wondering..if you always get unattractive men to chase you,does that mean you are unattractive too? even those men tell you you are beautiful?

I don't think so at all. I dunno :S.... all I know is that my ex in the eyes of my family, and even some friends is ugly, but I always found her to be attractive.. still do.. so yeah.. go figure. And, no bragging, but I think i am pretty good looking.. not top-model quality.. but what can we do lol...