all of a sudden stops calling/texting

I've been what i would say seriously seeing this guy for about 2 months.

And now he wont call me, or return my texts.

It came out of no where!

he used to text me all the time, tell me he missed me, he couldn't wait to see me. where these all lines?

the last text he sent me before he started to basically drop off the face of the earth was: missed not having you to wake up beside. Can't wait to see you soon, we'll do something nice.

When I didn't hear back from him after three days (and please note that I didn't call only texted a total of 4 times and one short email which was an event filer of a show we had talked about going to) He sends me this long message back about how he is so sorry and how I don't deserve the silent treatment, and how he's been stressed out lately and in his own head/life space at the moment. He's busy the next few days but will text/call me asap (he actually used asap) and how he's sorry and its not me or anything I did.

Lies right? I don't know. That message was on thursday and it's now tuesday. I still haven't heard from him.

I've been sort of letting it go, but I just don't know what to think.

Was it all just lies he was feeding me?

Did he get scared?

Is he actually busy?

Just feeling really depressed about it and down on my self.

Can anyone shed some light?

sounds to me like he's not to interested and is to much of a coward to say so.

i'd forget about him...and if he calls, he better have a very good excuse for acting like a 12 year old.

sounds like he lost interest, it happens. sorry this happened to you.

Not sure what happened but its clear he has lost interest for whatever reason, could almost be anything.

Was he feeding you lines? maybe...Is he actually busy? Maybe but how busy can someone be to call/text all the time then all of the sudden disappear?? He even knew he was giving you the silent treatment but didn't give you an explaination just "stressed, busy" ...you should have asked him with what?

If I was in this situation (and I have) where a guy did the silent treatment & the disappearing act - I would not hold my breathe for him to come back & starting moving on.

I don't feel like it's a lie, or that he's lost interest.

When men have issues on their mind, they go into a cave to deal with it. Unlike women, who can multi-task, men can't, and don't. They will go into their cave to work out their own thing, and push everything else out of their life while doing so. Including their relationships.

This doesn't last more than a week or two, tops.

I say give him space to work out what he needs to. The worst thing you can do right now is over-react.

While he is taking time out to get himself together, use this time wisely. Have a girls night out, hit the spa, seem Mom for lunch... Keep the other areas of your life filled, so you wont be so focused on him and what hes doing.

I truly dont think this is a blow-off AT ALL.

Keep the faith.

Men do this all the time. This pain will teach you to have a tougher skin of bitterness and hatred that will prevent you from being hurt so early next time.

I think you should give him the benefit of the doubt and i'll tell you why. He might actually be stressed out and busy.Give him some time...he will call you when he gets a minute. You know what they say..."If you love something let it go....."

He might just be busy, my boyfriend does that all the time. When he's busy he forgets everything else to get everything back together. I think most men are like this.

It's hard at first but eventually you don't even notice it, esp when you find out that he's really busy and not lying. Over reacting will just cause fights right now.

Hmmm, I'm thinking same as Ariel85 and because I've read the Mars and Venus book, in which it describes a guy 'caving'. Seemly and when they have a problem, they retreat into a 'cave' and disappear for a few days...

Think I'd sit back and note his actions from here....and quit contacting him full stop.

Give him a few days, see if he calls or texts.

I'm not really over reacting, more confused then anything. It's just sooo not like him.

I've actually always dated guys were I had to put in effort for, and this one I felt like he was always there, always making communication, so it throws me off my game alittle bit.

Should I not contact him at all, and just wait?

Or are a few text/emails here and there ok.

(example: good luck with your work presentation today. (or) hope you had a great day (or) have any plans for thursday?)

Just don't want to drop communication with him, but I also dont want to come off as needy or pushy or any of those girl things.

I'm not really over reacting, more confused then anything. It's just sooo not like him.

I've actually always dated guys were I had to put in effort for, and this one I felt like he was always there, always making communication, so it throws me off my game alittle bit.

 

Should I not contact him at all, and just wait?

Or are a few text/emails here and there ok.

(example: good luck with your work presentation today. (or) hope you had a great day (or) have any plans for thursday?)

 

Just don't want to drop communication with him, but I also dont want to come off as needy or pushy or any of those girl things.

DONT CONTACT HIM!!! LOL

If he's 'caving', it will serve to push him further away.....he told you that he'd be in touch with you, so await him calling.

If he wants you, he will be in touch with you.....

And if he doesn't communicate....then he lost interest

if he doesn't communicate with me/lost interest. when should I contact him about stuff I have at his apartment?

It's not like I moved stuff into his place, but I left my ipod there by accident a few weeks ago, and there are some netflixs dvds.

if he doesn't communicate with me/lost interest. when should I contact him about stuff I have at his apartment?

 

It's not like I moved stuff into his place, but I left my ipod there by accident a few weeks ago, and there are some netflixs dvds.

I'd give him maybe another week to contact you. If a week passes by and you havn't heard from him, then I'd send him a text reminding him that you have things at his place and ask when would it be convenient for you to go along and collect them.

I think you should give him the benefit of the doubt and i'll tell you why. He might actually be stressed out and busy.Give him some time...he will call you when he gets a minute. You know what they say..."If you love something let it go....."

man you guys & girls are really positive lol I always think if a guy does the "disappearing" act he pretty much lost interest.

I totally understand the going into a cave - my SO does this from time to time but he never once ignored me during his "time" I even go into a cave mode myself & want my "me time" for a few days or a week but I certainly dont neglect anyone I care for. Even a simple hello or goodnight text could go a long way. I dont find the cave thing as a very good excuse. Sorry...Just my take on that

And you guys just started dating - this is the time it all should be fun & exciting not worrying about this sorta thing & him already disappearing on you...

I guess you can stick it out a week and see what happens. You have no other choice right now as it is. I hope Im wrong & he is just stressing/busy. Best of luck to you!

If you left your stuff at his house, I'd say, "Dude, you may not like me or whatever, but I want my stuff back and I'll bug you until you give it to me." I'd be annoyed that he stopped talking to me and I'd bug him to death till I got my stuff back.

When men have issues on their mind, they go into a cave to deal with it. Unlike women, who can multi-task, men can't, and don't. They will go into their cave to work out their own thing, and push everything else out of their life while doing so. Including their relationships.

That's a pretty broad brush you're painting with there, don't ya think?

That's a pretty broad brush you're painting with there, don't ya think?

 

 

I think we're talking about the OP's guy, don't ya think? lol

 

But most men with things on their mind do this from time to time. If a guy has nothing going on in his life, then I imagine he can be painted with a Q-tip.

I think we're talking about the OP's guy, don't ya think? lol

 

But most men with things on their mind do this from time to time. If a guy has nothing going on in his life, then I imagine he can be painted with a Q-tip.

Your original statement doesn't sound like it's directed at one person, but it generalizes about both "men" and "women". I know men who can multi-task amazingly, I know women who do it extremely poorly. I know men who talk to others when they are having problems or issues and I know women who go into a "cave".

Anyway, that may not have been what you meant, just the way it came out.

couldn't have said it better.... guys do this kind of thing ALL the time.. trust me i've been there... he'll come around eventually, just give him time and space to sort out his issues.

couldn't have said it better.... guys do this kind of thing ALL the time.. trust me i've been there... he'll come around eventually, just give him time and space to sort out his issues.

And how do you know he is actually in a "cave", busy, stressed & just needs his alone time verus chasing another girl & doesn't have time for you then that doesn't work out so he comes back to you?

Do you just hope for the best & when he comes back you let him back into your life? If a guy is interested 100% (or girl) especially so early on in a relationship they give it their all. If they are stressed or busy - they explain why & what is going on. Not completely drop off the face of the earth. That just has been my experience with this. Im not saying every guy or girl would act this way but its a pretty be majority.

Can you ever recall being soooo busy or stressed that you couldnt text your "love interest" at least once every other day especially in the honeymoon phase of a relationship?

Word ......................

i wouldnt rule out the fact that he isnt interested, perhaps just not interested enough to put anymore effort into. Or maybe he is busy. I had a similar situation where a girl i was dating when stress hit the fan, she clammed up and i wouldnt see or talk to her for weeks but when i threatened to end it she didnt want to. Bottom line is, if they truly cared and wanted to make it work, no matter what the situation they would make the time. I would just disatach.

See to me this doesn't seem right. Why should she have to wait for him?! Why is it up to him when they see each other, and when they act all relationshipy, and when there's "space"?

This is my problem too. I break up with guys when this happens, because if he says "I miss you" and expects you to be there for him (which your guy seems to.. and my guys have), then I don't feel like them pausing the relationship when they feel like it makes us equal partners AT ALL. It feels like I'm just his girl, and he expects me when he wants me and expects his space when he wants that, and that's not fair.

I think its actually more likely that he was interested, but that an ex or a new girl came into his life. Or that perhaps he was seeing someone else when he was seeing her, and then he decided to make it official with her. Usually, if a guy drops off the face of the earth and there weren't any warning signals or events to explain it, it is because of another girl.

I would also wait a week with no contact and then send him a short email asking when you can stop by to get your stuff (or even better, when you can have a friend stop by). I would also give him your address (if you don't think he knows it by heart) so that he can send it to you if he'd prefer that method.