Batya33

Basically same-ish here.

I agree and I suspect that is why she's not asking. The only time that worked fine for me was at a short time in my life when I was happy just to date people casually. I met a guy who was kind, smart, fun and had nice friends. For 6 months we saw each other typically one evening a week and the last month or so more like twice a week. We both realized it wasn't going anywhere and we "broke up" amicably. Back then only landlines so we spoke once or twice a week (not even e-mail - 1994!) and one time he called me from his business trip in Berlin -long distance! -and I was so excited he thought of me - but it worked because neither of us was that into the other- we just had fun going on dates and it never progressed. To me that's the only way this sort of arrangement works -when neither is focused on getting more serious. You are OP and you're focusing on the texting when the real issue is he doesn't want to share his life with you/invite you into more of his life. I'd exit.

But you're not happy with the way it always has been. Instead of considering -why not just ask? And if you think the answer will be no and feed your worries -that is your answer too. Do you see yourself being with him long term?

What do you mean - what do you do to see him more often?

He means she's dating someone but doesn't have a serious bf.

Why don't you see each other more often?

So if you start dating her and are getting serious you're cool with her flirting with other guys? To the extent she is with you?

Good for you!

I see. I revise my opinion too in this context. Maybe they've had other issues around use of social media etc so this was a trigger?

It's Nurses Week here. People are suggesting to send nurses gifts of food because they rarely hav time to eat etc. She took care of his mother. $15 isn't over the top either. It's not like he sent her $ and then said -let's meet for coffee.

This is a red flag. You are a nurse -thank you! - who took care of his mom - my mom had to go to the ER a couple of weeks ago after unusually passing out. My voice shook when I reached someone there (we live 800 miles away) and this man - I think he was a nurse or PA -was so -kind -despite being so very busy at an ER - I tried to maintain composure to get information about my mom but he sensed my -distress and he was so -kind. Wow I wish I could have venmoed him a gift card!My husband would have been glad to hear it and hopefully this man's partner would have been too. We should all find ways to thank you and your fellow healthcare workers for your contributions. What did your bf do to recognize Nurse's Week?? I'd tell him that you are very concerned about his concern and you'd hoped he'd be happy for you being -rightfully -recognized.

Ok good. Again you sound like you are very focused on staying in your relationship so it makes little sense for anyone here to suggest another alternative.

Why do you care to this extent about the life she has outside of her sessions with you? You're paying her $$ to focus on you -you are the patient/client. I will say if my husband mentioned that his female doctor/dental hygienist/optometrist shared ultra personal details of her life with him beyond the "yes sorry you couldn't get an appointment in March -we were at Disneyworld and boy was it hot!" I would wonder whether she had a crush on him and whether boundaries were being crossed. I wouldn't make demands -but I might feel uncomfortable especially if he had to see the person frequently. Same with the people we work with - boundaries are important and often someone's partner will notice if a coworker is calling a lot after hours, calling to have ultra personal conversations, etc. You seem very intense about staying in this relationship, justifying her behavior, justifying your choices. I wish you luck and you seem to know and accept the downsides of being with her. I never thought you expected all to be perfect- none of us do - I was focused on how she treats you and this particular issue.

I was thinking the same. And, OP I don't think someone's love for their son justifies talking about him in that way in a professional context. I love my son to the moon and back and when I am working and interacting with colleagues I don't bring up how awesome he is or some awesome thing he said or reference how my colleague resembles him etc - I mean sure as a one off once in a blue moon in context but that's my personal life -saying personal things about my son (as opposed to - I'm taking my son to the doctor tomorrow so I'll be late or sharing what he chose to be for Halloween if that is the conversation etc). Many many parents are over the moon about their kids and also are quite adept at restraining the gushing in professional contexts.

She is your therapist so if you cannot be transparent with her consider she might not be the right therapist -there is no need to joke or beat around the bush -with a therapist.