Should I call her or just let it fade naturally?

[Luke Skywalker]

Should I call this girl, or wait for her to call me?

 

Background.

 

Last communication:

 

Tuesday - March 27th - I asked if she wanted to 'meet-up' before she left for her trip to Ohio. She said she was busy and informed me that she'll be retuning back on Monday, April 2, 1007.

 

Monday - Saturday, April 7th - got no call from her that she returned back, and my mom at first told me to wait and not push anything, then she said, she wonders if she is also waiting for me to call her.

 

I went out on a total four dates with her, and all of them have been positive. She went out of the way to 'celebrate' my birthday, treating me out by kissing me up, and we have been on the phone trying to set up a subsequent date, but somehow did not get around to so.

 

There is no limerance or undue affection with her like the other girl I wrote about that I was obsessed about. I suppose my only concern is if she is equally waiting for me to call her, or if it's a bad sign in general that she hasn't gotten back to me. I know when people go out on trips/vacations, or when I go on trips/vacation - there is usually some sort of Bermuda Triangle involved (i.e. out of sight, out of mind, get used to out of mind by inertia, stay out of mind, etc...).

 

Honestly, dont know what to make of it. My interim decision is to write it off as having some positive experiences with her, keep it in my little diary and memory, and move on, and if she calls, great, otherwise, great too, no expectations no disappointment.

[Batya33]

I would call her - nothing to lose and it may answer some questions.

[annie24]

why not call her up and ask her how her trip went? if everything else seems to be ok, I think it would be hasty to just write her off.

[StarLily]

girls like it when guys call..

[l9grl]

just call her

 

if she is a good match for you, then calling her will be welcome!

[ghost69]

try one more time. NC, then forget her.

[Luke Skywalker]

Alright, I've called her today and left a message which is in a soft tone (i.e. asking her how her trip went - playing stupid about not knowing which 'Monday' she was talking about - and tried my best not to accuse or pass any judgment in message or tone). I'm giving her three days to return my call, then I'm going to move on if there is no return call, but at least I did my part.

[Luke Skywalker]

An email was noticed on my inbox, it was sent on April 3rd (Tues) where she said I was sweet. I felt a bit anxious earlier since she didn't call back today, then felt better when I saw that email reply (after eating a bag of chips and some chocolates - I was fine before I called her, but once I left the message and she didn't call back, I started feeling that insecure and uneasy feeling again)

 

This was in reply to a music clip from Michelle Tumes' Album, Centre of My Universe, with the title song 'Lovely'.

 

It is by far the most romantic song in my possession, although the song is supposed to be singing about God and worshiping His beauty as an artistic expression in His creation of everything and I only send this music clip by internet to people who really mean something special to me, hence it's an online version of a flower in my own way. I wonder if I came on to strong there.

[Dating Coach]

Luke, you're moving too fast in your own head. You shouldn't be feeling so worked up over her non-returned calls. Shrug your shoulders. You've got your own life and it's only been 4 dates. If she doesn't call back or is no longer interested... shrug your shoulders and move on. It shouldn't be a heartbreaking event for you at this point.

 

You called and left a message twice now. I think that's plenty. She knows you want to see her again and if she has any interest she will contact you. The moment you realize that establishing a date is becoming a chore, then you know that her actions are telling you she has a low interest level. Then just move on.

[ghost69]

whoa luke. you are sending her love stuff already? lil strong man. back that stuff off.

[Luke Skywalker]

Luke, you're moving too fast in your own head. You shouldn't be feeling so worked up over her non-returned calls. Shrug your shoulders. You've got your own life and it's only been 4 dates.

 

 

If she doesn't call back or is no longer interested... shrug your shoulders and move on. It shouldn't be a heartbreaking event for you at this point.

 

I don't have a strong limerant connection with her so it's unlikely there is going to be any heartbreaking event. Anyway, I'm giving her until Friday, before I do an analysis to see how the interaction broke down.

 

For example, the music clip from Michelle Tumes may have put an ackward anchor or context into things. This is not the first time an interaction has gone awry after sending that clip - maybe because it's a female vocalist singing quasi Christian new age style music may have some averse impact. I'd like to pin it down on something, and for now, this seems to be the most conveniant solution, but I'm not sure if it's true or not.

 

You called and left a message twice now.

 

I called and left a message on Saturday at 5:00 pm. There is no record here of me sending another message. I checked my email, and noticed that she sent a reply email on Tuesday, April 3, that's it.

 

I think that's plenty. She knows you want to see her again and if she has any interest she will contact you. The moment you realize that establishing a date is becoming a chore, then you know that her actions are telling you she has a low interest level. Then just move on.

 

Of course - you saying I should move on now rather than wait for Friday?

[Luke Skywalker]

whoa luke. you are sending her love stuff already? lil strong man. back that stuff off.

 

She said that I was sweet (what does that mean - usually women talk in double-speak so compliments are usually insults, right?) Do you think that clip may have emasculated myself and killed attraction or something?

 

So you think that clip's too strong, or came accross wrong? She came on strong by 'treating me out' for my birthday, so I reciprocated by sending that clip.

[Dating Coach]

Of course - you saying I should move on now rather than wait for Friday?

 

As long as you're not truly "waiting", ie taking time out of your life to be available in case she might call. You can go about your daily routine and if she calls, she calls. It might just be a friendly call though so if she does contact you, set up a date.

 

So you think that clip's too strong, or came accross wrong? She came on strong by 'treating me out' for my birthday, so I reciprocated by sending that clip.

 

I think it was way too strong. I don't think something like that is appropriate so early in a relationship.

[ghost69]

She said that I was sweet (what does that mean - usually women talk in double-speak so compliments are usually insults, right?) Do you think that clip may have emasculated myself and killed attraction or something?

 

So you think that clip's too strong, or came accross wrong? She came on strong by 'treating me out' for my birthday, so I reciprocated by sending that clip.

 

for sure. i wouldn't even send a chick that after 4-8 months of dating.

[Luke Skywalker]

for sure. i wouldn't even send a chick that after 4-8 months of dating.

 

So, do you think it's the fact of the music clip (i.e type and content) of the clip, or it seems to serious of a clip (i.e. no matter what clip is given)?

 

But anyway, we've established so far that sending the music clip is a factor with something and that satisfies me to think that there is nothing. I do want to start another thread to further analyze a set of variables about this and another scenerio which will be made soon.

[l9grl]

it sounds like you are, by nature, an intense and romantic person

 

just be yourself...if she is a good match for you, you will discover this soon enough

 

do not change who you really are...the 'right' person for you will resonate with your depth and intelligence

 

if you catch yourself over-thinking things, maybe journal about it, so that yoiu can release your thoughts and feelings, and return to a more balanced place of calm

 

there are women out there who are REALLY into men like you...honour who you are!!!

[annie24]

oh, I don't know if that song was a big deal. I don't think I would have read too much into it. I've gotten some rather odd song/lyrics forwards, I didn't look into what it meant about our relationship...... could be that she lost interest on her own..... or met someone else during her trip even!

[Luke Skywalker]

 

if you catch yourself over-thinking things, maybe journal about it, so that yoiu can release your thoughts and feelings, and return to a more balanced place of calm

 

It's already journaled in a weird way - it's called the 'Green book', where I record with names, numbers and symbols experiences that happen, hence only I can understand my own journal.

 

there are women out there who are REALLY into men like you...honour who you are!!!

 

Of course, I'm not thinking of changing anything. This thread is primarily a symoblic consideration at best on the Green book under her name's entry. Had her entry stayed the same way, then I would have been discouraged from pursuing other girls because there would be no goals to do. Now I'm free to explore and pursue other women and have further entries into the Green journal book. (To those who have read my thread on 'Internal Politics' then they will understand further what I'm talking about in reference to that book, although I dont want to mention it here.)

[Luke Skywalker]

oh, I don't know if that song was a big deal. I don't think I would have read too much into it. I've gotten some rather odd song/lyrics forwards, I didn't look into what it meant about our relationship...... could be that she lost interest on her own..... or met someone else during her trip even!

 

But you HAD a relationship though when it happened, since I didn't really have a relationship because obviously she has dissappeared, then maybe as other guys have said, if it's too early then it may be counter-productive. Unless, of course, you have received odd song/lyric forwards early in a relationship or friendship and didn't think anything of it.

[annie24]

well, I don't know what this song clip is about, but I just try not to look too deeply into things. I've dated plenty of guys who "liked to drink" so sometimes odd things would be sent to my e-mail inbox Actually, what I should have read into it was that they had alcohol problems!!!

 

again, i don't know, I guess it depends. i try not to read too deeply into forwarded e-mails/songs in general, but that is just me.

 

she may have stopped calling you for a million other reasons, having nothing to do with the song.

[Luke Skywalker]

she may have stopped calling you for a million other reasons, having nothing to do with the song.

 

If there is another reason involved, other than the song, then perhaps it is because I did not call her right away when she likely returned back last Tuesday. Whatever the reason is, it's likely due to my own inexperience with understanding women so I'm just going to write the whole thing off but will maintain that there was a positive memory out of it that will stick in my journal, and good memories are sometimes what you only get at the end of the day.

 

Every interaction either fades or crashs and burns, it's a question of when, and what is learned from the interaction. In this case it went up to four dates, which beat the prior record of three dates.

[Goldfish6888]

Ah luke

 

You remind me of me with all kinds of scenarios being worn out in your head. Tis best to just take things slowly. Other people live their lives on different levels - sometimes more superficial, basic everyday levels. You are most definitely a thinker; an analyser, someone who searches for a deeper understanding. But you need to hold back in this instance. I think someone like yourself who is a writer, truly analyses and can sometimes analyse too much. I am guilty myself of this.

You have to understand that not everyone will think this deeply on a phonecall or a song...No amount of songs or not calling on time, will turn away the right girl for you!

 

Every interaction either fades or crashes and burns, it's a question of when

Luke, with this thought maybe you are keeping love away? Maybe you feel unworthy? In the words of Louise Hay...."be ready for love when it does come. Be loving and you will be lovable."

 

Our subconscious minds accepts whatever we choose to believe ie; what I believe about myself and about life becomes true for me. And we have unlimited choices about what we can think. When we know this, then it makes sense to choose " Everyone is loving" rather than "every interaction crashes and burns" If you are willing to release that belief and to affirm for yourself that "love is everywhere and I am loving and lovable" and to hold onto that affirmation and to repeat it often, then it will become true for you. Now loving relationships will come into your life, the people already in your life will become more loving and you will find it easy to express your love to others.

 

It's true, it honestly works...sorry to go off on a rant here.

 

G Fish.

[Supa-Fly]

Hey Luke...

 

I agree to the previous post, I too am guilty of reading a meaning behind every-thing, i some-times wish i didn't because it can causes stress later in a relationship, or so i have experienced, i.e when your partner, lover, or even just friends do something there must be a meaning to it, i get it often that if a text message on my phone is too short i wonder if she doesn't want to talk to me, if i try to kiss my girlfriend and she says she's busy i tend to seek a problem in myself other than just accepting that infact she really is busy with something important, when i call her and she doesn't answer immediately i would think she doesn't want to talk to me... Now with this way of thinking i think there are benifits and also drawbacks, with benifits i mean that you annalyse your partner and do a worst-case cenario putting you in the possition of nothing worst can happen, but this also burns you up because you constantly worry, and then the drawbacks, usually if you keep these thoughts for yourself it turns out good since it isn't always as you might imagine it to be, but when you share these thoughts with your significant other, she might get the idea that you doubt her or might even go as far as not trusting her.... This is my experience of things and it might not apply to you... Sorry for the long reply...

[Luke Skywalker]

 

 

Green book reset: March 3rd, 2007 to October 25th, 2007. Fourth Administration. Similar routine or pattern.

 

A special symbol was placed beside this girl inside the journal which would override the whole system when evaluated on October 25th, 2007, but that has now been disabled and open.

 

To think positive subconsciously would mean to imagine this imaginary defeatist system being in itself defeated by love. The purpose of the book is a numerical journal which records all experiences in numerical fashion, like a computer, and transmutates emotions to numerical expressions.

 

Anyway, I have heard about affirmations before and would take them seriously. I've noticed the author who suggested this is from Paris. Well, people in France I guess are known for good romantic advice, so I'll take this seriously. Au-revoir.

[ghost69]

i think the clip was just too much. not the fact that it was a clip, but it's content.