Do I tell him what I want??

[adidas7fire]

My bf and I have been dating for 4 years now. At the beginning of our relationship, we used to be so good at getting each other gifts that we knew the other would really like. He'd ask me what I want and I could tell him and he'd get that as well as something totally unexpected like nice jewelry or lingerie... something I wouldn't have bought on my own. We used to spend tons of money on each other at the starting point of our relationship but now it seems as though things have changed just a little. For example, for Christmas, he got me a lot of "practical" gifts such as things for the kitchen, for the house, and electronic gadgets that he could enjoy as well -- nothing really to give me that 'wow' factor as in previous years. I know that it's really the thought that counts but I won't deny that I still miss the nice girly things that I used to be given. Is it just at that point where he's at a comfort zone in this or should I say something to him? I mean, I don't want to come off as unappreciative or selfish by any means but I can't help but sometimes think about the years before and see how much things have changed. Thanks for reading this. I'd like both guys AND girls opinions and experience in dealing with this sort of issue. Thank you!!!

[daisy1104]

that's a tough call. i'm assuming you guys have moved in long before now so you do share a living space. consider the financial situation in the relationship and also if you are dead-set on getting something romantic persay it never hurts to make subtle suggestions but don't fret it is a sign he's lost interest. i know several guys in fact that got their SO a vacuum for christmas and both guys told me that they couldn't live without that girl but knew they needed a vacuum so there you go

 

i guess the best advice - go with your gut...

[agent1607307371]

Yes tell him. If you don't ask, you don't get.

 

It's better to have a conversation that will take 5 minutes tops than have to endure years of "practical" gifts, which imo aren't gifts at all.

Household goods are necessities bought as needed, not something you get to show that you value someone.

[laboheme]

May I ask what kind of gifts you're giving him? If you don't feel comfortable having a conversation about wanting more nice girly things, maybe give him a hint by getting something extra nice and romantic for him. Something that really says that you went out of your way to make it special (not necessarily price-wise, but meaning-wise). Maybe that would give him a clue?

 

(Although I must say that I had just the opposite problem with my ex: I had to try to convince him to buy me practical gifts instead of jewlery, etc.! Gosh, what wouldn't I do right now for a nice vacuum...)

[adidas7fire]

I have given him lots of "from the heart" gifts that I have made him... took hours to weeks to make and he loved them. he's not the type to really spend that much time on a single project just because he doesn't have the time with two different FT jobs. I'm just lucky that we get to see each other!!! Anyways, my birthday is Friday and I have a few people telling me that he got me something that goes with the house. As much as I will probably like it, I still remember my first birthday celebration with him... I got a beautiful diamond necklace and I guess my expectations are up to that point. I mean, the practical gifts that he DOES get, I like a lot and are very useful but still, I'm a girl... I like to be wowwed and feel like I'm being romanticized. At the same time, I've been trying to train myself to not even care about receiving gifts but whenever Christmas, our anniversary, or birthdays come around, that "i hope" feeling devours me.

[RayKay]

I think you just need to tell him.

 

I for one for example like practical gifts! I love getting bike parts and running stuff, or I would love a new Kitchen Aid mixer...lol. They are still from the heart as he knows my needs and wants! We have a house together, so tend to also get one another things that are more practical.

 

I do like pretty "romantic" things though too though - like flowers now and then, or something sparkly ......so a balance is necessary I think. I tend to also give my boyfriend both practical things, and fun things or things that are more personal.

[TheFoglifter]

... really to give me that 'wow' factor as in previous years"

 

As time goes on, it takes more and more and more effort to get that "wow" factor. I know in my case, during the honeymoon phase, a $60 dinner and a $10 gift swept her off her feet. Now I could drop $200 on crap and she wouldn't crack a smile.

 

While I do like to get her gifts she'll enjoy, I also think one or two gifts should be things for us. Its not like I have to "woo" her anymore, but I do still want to wow her.

[adidas7fire]

I totally understand. Even though it's been years since the honeymoon phase, I still like to make it the best gift ever even if it isn't... as far as money-wise or whatnot. I do more out of creativity and something from the heart rather than buying it at a store. He's more of the practical type person and loves receiving gifts like a toolkit or something for his truck but I guess he just assumes that I am the same way. we'll see though... if things don't change, then I may just say something.. not in a demanding way but more in a FYI type humorous scenario since that's how we talk about things. LOL. thanks for all your input!

[agent1607307371]

He's more of the practical type person and loves receiving gifts like a toolkit or something for his truck but I guess he just assumes that I am the same way.

 

If you've been together a while, he should know you're not that way.

 

That said, don't expect him to suddenly change. If you don't let him know somethings wrong, he can't fix it. The poor guy's not a mindreader.