Kyoshiro Ogari Posted March 12, 2007 Share Posted March 12, 2007 Why do women say they weant a nice guy, but leave the nice guys behind for jerks. We nice guys certainly do finish last. Where can I sign up for Jerk101? I think it is time to a change. Link to comment
Jayar Posted March 12, 2007 Share Posted March 12, 2007 You're just dating the wrong kinds of girls. "Nice guy" is a criteria on my list personally, and if I find out a guy is a jerk he's gone... So take that for what it's worth, I guess. Keep in mind that the kind of girls who genuinely go for jerks probably aren't what you want long-term anyway. So just chalk it up to experience and wait for your Miss Right. Link to comment
willow2900 Posted March 12, 2007 Share Posted March 12, 2007 I agree. I am also really attracted to the "nice" guy. Anyone who displays arrogant tendancies doesn't get my attention. Well, the do, but then it's negative thoughts! No matter how attractive a person is, the minute they display arrogance, their looks decrease. When I live in residence in college there was a guy on our floor who if you were to see him on the street, you probably wouldn't blink. He wasn't unattractive, just not model material. But he was the sweetest, nicest, guy EVER! And you know what? He had the every girl that lived in residence DROOLING over his every move after a few months. Give it time. You'll meet the right girl who will appreciate you for who you are. Link to comment
Jetta Posted March 12, 2007 Share Posted March 12, 2007 Want the truth, here it is. Nice guys are boring. They lack passion, lack enthusiam, lack excitment, etc. Woman want to be treated well, but they also want some pizaz to life. So start spicing things up. Link to comment
seminole Posted March 12, 2007 Share Posted March 12, 2007 Wait a minute.There are alot of nice guys out there who are not boring,are very passionate and they're exciting.So dont lump all nice men into the same category. Link to comment
darkpumpkin Posted March 12, 2007 Share Posted March 12, 2007 Exactly. You have to show that you like someone without basically laying your heart at their feet. I have read that guys who are very nice and who jump to the stage of "I really like you/want to be with you" to soon turns a woman off. Try taking it a bit slow. Don't express your feelings as much...if you are that is. Link to comment
Maverick32x Posted March 12, 2007 Share Posted March 12, 2007 Wait a minute.There are alot of nice guys out there who are not boring,are very passionate and they're exciting.So dont lump all nice men into the same category. the diffrence between being a "nice guy" and a "doormat" are tiny.. but significant.... for example.. a nice guy who complains about being left behind because hes not a jerk... its probably a door mat...... A nice guy who doesn't have to treat women badly in order to meet them and date them is probably the type of nice guy you are refrerring to... there was a post somewhere on here about the diffrence between a nice guy and a doormat... its quite interesting and informative.... I'll look for it edit thanks Diggitydog!!!! Link to comment
darkpumpkin Posted March 12, 2007 Share Posted March 12, 2007 Super way of putting it Maverick32x Link to comment
seminole Posted March 12, 2007 Share Posted March 12, 2007 Sorry I didn't put it a little more specifically.Being nice and kind to a woman you like is one thing,but being a pushover is another. Link to comment
Spugly Fuglet Posted March 12, 2007 Share Posted March 12, 2007 you have this wrong its not nice guys they dont like its guys who bend them selfs out of shape for a girl, Don't always be you be wht you feel is right and dont always bend to there will, that way a Girl knows from day one who "you" are and what you stand for, she can look at that and say Yep I ike him or Nope hes not for me. Stop doing what you thing she would like, do what you like and see if she likes dg the same. Then once you know each other you can comprimise on the things you dont like, in sted of blwoing up in her face weeks after you started out. She can stop holding that shopping list and saying "well he could be grate if I changed this" So bad guys are not just selfish guys there guys who know who they are and wont change unless its agreed on Why do women say they weant a nice guy, but leave the nice guys behind for jerks. We nice guys certainly do finish last. Where can I sign up for Jerk101? I think it is time to a change. Link to comment
Aleadragonhawk Posted March 12, 2007 Share Posted March 12, 2007 Just a note: I'm marrying a nice guy. And honestly, I can't believe all the women who told him "You're a great guy -- for somebody else." Intelligent, attractive, funny... if you wrote up a list, he'd fit every check. But for some reason, women avoided him. I'm glad that I didn't. Link to comment
Locke2121 Posted March 12, 2007 Share Posted March 12, 2007 The Four Main Types of Men: How to recongize them, some of their pros and cons. 1. Shy guy. Everyone can recognize this poor dude. About the only way to get him to make a noise is to flick his butt with a switch. No one really knows what makes them shy, but it can be quite debilitating. They have trouble talking not only to women, but anyone. Cons: Hard to break through their shell, often have several critical insecurities that need work, have few social skills and have to be handled very carefully at first. His shy manner also makes it hard for him to speak up and be noticed, often leading to a ho hum, dead-end job. Requires the attention of a strong woman who can force him to succeed. Pros: Almost guarantee'd to be faithful, once they've found love the chances of them looking further are almost nil. They are often intelligent, caring and very sensitive to the needs of others. Many are also VERY knowledgable when it comes to sex techniques, having read every book they can find and are more that willing to show you everything they know. 2. Nice guy. Similar to the shy guy, but able to talk to women a bit more. They can often be well dressed, articulate and openly sensitive to a woman's needs. However, this is a bad thing for them, because like shy guys, they find it VERY hard to take that next step in telling a woman their feelings...so they often end up being a woman's best friend and confidant, no matter how much they hate it. Cons: Few actually. One is a serious lack of confidence when it comes to taking the plunge and talking to a woman in a serious manner. Pros: Often smart, articulate, caring and genuinely caring towards not only women, but others as well. Often have decent social skills, as they pertain to groups. Can be very faithful, but once able to cross that line between thinking and doing, they find an inner core of strength and can have little trouble doing it again. 3. Man. A person with an inner core of confidence that the first two sorely lack. This makes him easy to see as he has no trouble talking to women and asking them out. He comes in all sizes, shapes and colors. The best way to recognize him is to notice the fact that he can take or leave a woman, it doesn't matter to him. He is happy enough with himself that he can walk away from a bad conversation at any time. That willpower makes him very interesting to women. Cons: Really depends on the person. He is like two sides of a coin. He can be unfaithful, because he knows he can attract women. This can lead to arrogance, self-centered behaviour and infidelity. Pros: Good ones actually. He can be faithful, caring, want a lifetime commitment and will work hard to support his family. Often what many women call "A great catch". 4. Player. Often called jerks by the other three, the player has few pros and many cons. Often VERY self-centered, he cares only for his own pleasure. If he lavishes attention on a woman, often it is only because her responses stroke his own ego. Cons: Can be very hard to spot. He has learned to try and look like any other guy, so that the majority of nice girls won't be put off by his obvious "love 'em and leave 'em" mentality. Pros: As stated before, he does lavish attention on women. While his motives are often self-centered, the attention he gives women can be very appealing. Does that help a little? Link to comment
Leonhart Posted March 12, 2007 Share Posted March 12, 2007 Hmm, I don't fit any of those categories. I'm shy with women, but not afraid to speak up either. I like to throw my opinion around (big surprise, huh?) Anyway Kyo, if you want to sign up for Jerk101, just go to any of those player sites, learn what they say, and do it to a tee. I'm not saying the material is all bad, it's not, but if you follow it to a tee, even down to the purpose for which most of it was written (getting a woman into the sack), you'll become a jerk in no time! But it wouldn't make you happy in the long run, and your conscience will eat you alive. Link to comment
Locke2121 Posted March 12, 2007 Share Posted March 12, 2007 There are in-betweens of course! Sounds like your a nice guy heading towards a man....good for you! Link to comment
Leonhart Posted March 12, 2007 Share Posted March 12, 2007 lol Thanks... but I'm not sure. More like shy... but only with attractive women, going into a man. (I'm a big boy ta-day, mommee! Wheee! lmao) I used to be the poster-child for nice guy-itis. But then I realized... well, it's stupid and gets you NOWHERE with women. Link to comment
Locke2121 Posted March 12, 2007 Share Posted March 12, 2007 Sure it does......the Friend Zone....*shudder* Link to comment
Leonhart Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 Yeah, but I clued in quickly and always blew them off as 'friends.' I told them outright, "I don't want to be your friend." And left it at that. See, even then I have a backbone... it was just in its germinating stage. lol Link to comment
galaxy71 Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 Why do women say they weant a nice guy, but leave the nice guys behind for jerks. We nice guys certainly do finish last. Where can I sign up for Jerk101? I think it is time to a change. Women are not attracted to nice guys. Instead, they are attracted to well-groomed, confident, passionate, funny, interesting, charismatic guys. Jerks possess many of these positve qualities that women find attractive. The word "nice" is a bland, vague term that is used to describe something unoffensive, yet boring. You don't want to be known as the "nice guy". Instead, you want to be known as that cool, passionate, fun guy without becoming a jerk. When a guy is labeled as "nice", the woman is just plain not attracted to his personality nor looks. Now, women don't consciously go after jerks. Women become attracted to jerks because he is confident and interesting. They feel feminine when the guy takes the lead for them. It is only later that women realize that the guy is a jerk. By then it is too late, since the women has invested a lot of time and energy on him. I think a lot of "nice" guys and shy guys waste too much time trying to please others and not offend them. This type of behavior can be boring and needy to women as they are used to nice guys who fawn for their attention. On the other hand, the confident guy is too busy working on his job and his passions to worry about pleasing anyone. He has standards and he decides whether other people are worth his time. The confident guy respects other people yet he is not afraid to stand up for what he believes in. The confident guy is who you should aspire to. Wilhelm is correct. There are player websites that can teach guys how to be a jerk. What I find fascinating when a guy is seducing a beautiful woman is the fact that woman want guys to lead the interaction. They want guys to make the approach. They expect guys to flirt with her and entertain her. When she is attracted to him, she wants him to make a move, like kissing. I also notice that women love the tension that is created when a guy pings her with a cocky and funny line. On another website, this guy teased one of his female coworkers. The female coworker responded about how hot it was even though the room wasn't hot at all. A lot of jerks are good at leading the interaction and creating sexual tension through banter and teasing. It is very important that a guy learn these attractive male qualities without having to become a jerk. Link to comment
Kyoshiro Ogari Posted March 13, 2007 Author Share Posted March 13, 2007 Thank you for the advices and words o wisdom thus far, folks. Jetta, not sure what you mean by spice vs. nice guys. I mean, my romantic side can rival that of anyone. Just ask my pillow! (ha ha oh boy) Seriously, it's just that I am not being allowed to show that side. I fit into the shy guy category and often get categorized as being a pushover, which is unfair. I hear some women say this and that about their boyfriend being jerks, but they stay without even a second thought. Is this spice? Then they top it off by calling me nice. That's like saying to me, "I really go for spotted racoons. You're such a nice striped racoon." There are player websites that can teach guys how to be a jerk. If I have to resort to this, then what's the point of being alive? This would basically mean that I should force myself to be something that I am either not or not comfortable being. Or add a dimension to myself that doesn't mesh with the rest of me. In other words, the whole "you're fine just the way you are" is spittle. It should be "you're just fine the way you are, but you need a little of this, this, that and this." I can see someone telling me that. I leave thosse David Deangelo websites alone. Mr. Rogers is spinning in his grave right now. Link to comment
galaxy71 Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 If I have to resort to this, then what's the point of being alive? This would basically mean that I should force myself to be something that I am either not or not comfortable being. Or add a dimension to myself that doesn't mesh with the rest of me. In other words, the whole "you're fine just the way you are" is spittle. It should be "you're just fine the way you are, but you need a little of this, this, that and this." I can see someone telling me that. I leave thosse David Deangelo websites alone. Mr. Rogers is spinning in his grave right now. While I get repulsed by some of the things that are taught in those websites, I do believe those websites do a superior job of telling guys how they can improve themselves without changing their identity. They do a great job at covering topics that are superficially discussed on mainstream dating advice websites . These websites have a lot of comprehensive, detailed information on topics like flirting, body language, conversational skils, and kissing. The people giving advice are guys who can pick up attractive women anytime they want. I believe that the shy guys in those websites show more improvement than shy guys who use mainstream dating advice sites. Guys go from being shy and having no dating experience to guys who date a lot of different women. Link to comment
Luke Skywalker Posted March 13, 2007 Share Posted March 13, 2007 I've been on those websites, and I can say that there hasn't been much improvement since I've been on. I've bought CD's from a Seduce and Conquer program and dating books, and I'll tell you, you just go back to your same old darn self. Thus, I dont think there is such a think as jerk101 or anything like that which would be effective. I mean, the idea of being someone else who you are not, and putting on an act just to get in someone's pants is so out of wack that it's nuts. You are worshipping sex when you behave like that. You should be yourself, and of course, be assertive in interactions and the right type of people will reciprocate back. Link to comment
Anonybrit Posted March 19, 2007 Share Posted March 19, 2007 Want the truth, here it is. Nice guys are boring. They lack passion, lack enthusiam, lack excitment, etc. Woman want to be treated well, but they also want some pizaz to life. So start spicing things up. Want the truth? Here it is. Blondes are dumb and girls with small breasts aren't worth the hassle. Go to Asia and get a girl, they're all subservient over there, like they should be. See? Not nice is it. Gender stereotyping is wrong whether it's coming from a man or woman - and your personal opinion doesn't constitue what half the human race thinks. Grow up ffs. Link to comment
galaxy71 Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 Want the truth? Here it is. Blondes are dumb and girls with small breasts aren't worth the hassle. Go to Asia and get a girl, they're all subservient over there, like they should be. See? Not nice is it. Gender stereotyping is wrong whether it's coming from a man or woman - and your personal opinion doesn't constitue what half the human race thinks. Grow up ffs. She's right. The reason women reject nice guys is because they are not attracted to them. Self-proclaimed nice guys have a hard time attracting women because they don't care about their looks, they don't have a lot of confidence, and they have no drive and ambition to pursue their dreams and goals. Simply put, nice guys don't know how to attract women and they don't have the drive to work on themselves so that women will become attracted to them. I know plenty of nice guys who have no success with women. These guys get rejected because they have no idea about what women want. This one guy I know was complaining about how this young woman in her twenties was extremely unfriendly when she rejected him. He saw it as another example about how hard it is to meet and date women in church. What this "nice guy" didn't realize was fact that he was more than thirty years older than that young woman who rejected him(He's in his fifties). Not only that, but the guy is bald, wears glasses, and looks like an elderly nerd. He reminds me a lot of the cartoon character "Charlie Brown". Link to comment
Leonhart Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 She's right. The reason women reject nice guys is because they are not attracted to them. Self-proclaimed nice guys have a hard time attracting women because they don't care about their looks, they don't have a lot of confidence, and they have no drive and ambition to pursue their dreams and goals. Simply put, nice guys don't know how to attract women and they don't have the drive to work on themselves so that women will become attracted to them. I know plenty of nice guys who have no success with women. These guys get rejected because they have no idea about what women want. Does that mean, then, that because I dress well and take care of my apperance - and actually care how I look - that I'm not a nice guy? Link to comment
galaxy71 Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 Does that mean, then, that because I dress well and take care of my apperance - and actually care how I look - that I'm not a nice guy? Attraction is more than just looks. I am not saying that all nice guys are poorly dressed, lack confidence, AND lack social skills. Nice guys may have problems in only one area of their life(i.e. having a nice appearance, but lacking confidence), while other nice guys have problems with multiple areas(like my friend who looks nerdy and has no confidence) Some nice guys have a poor appearance. Other nice guys have a good appearnce but have problems with their confidence. There are still others who have problems with their social skills. Link to comment
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